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Boyfriend and I have been together for five years and lived together for three (though because I'm originally from somewhere else we're longdistance during the summer - me with my family in my country, he with his family). We're both 25 and have just finished our studies.

So, at the moment we're long distance for about 6-8 weeks. I'd like for him to come and visit for my birthday in mid-july, but he claims he probably can't afford to. Though at the same time he's talking about all the things he needs to buy once he gets paid! I've tried mentioning that we really don't need to spend much while over here, but he's having none of it. It seems that while for me, the most important thing is that we get to see eachother and see my hometown, for him there's not much point if we can't afford expensive trips and treats while he's here. So he won't be able to make his mind up til last minute. I'm pretty sure he won't turn up and it's already putting a damper on my birthday. I have to take time off work if he'll be here, but since I don't know if he will I'm not sure what to do.

I've noticed for a while that we have quite different views of money and material things, but it hasn't really been a problem before. Now I have a constant worrying feeling because I'm sensing this is a bigger issue than it seems. Sometimes it seems like while I value time together and he values money.

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It's sounds like you are not a priorty at the moment, that possibly he is backing off from you.

Put it this way, it's your birthday, if he loved you he'd want to be with you and if that meant sacrifising a new wardrobe or toy then so be it.

I think you are right about it being a bigger issue.

You are going to have to get him to talk, not so much about the birthday plans but whatever it is that he isn't telling you.


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