Do I have a right to be angry?

[jd21]

It's been almost 3 months since my ex broke up with me. We dated for almost 3 years, since we were 17. Basically he doesn't want us to regret never haven been single in college. I think we got too serious too young and he realized college is almost over and it scares him. I love him with all of my heart and I wish he would feel differently. He told me he loves me too and has very strong feelings for me but feels this is best. Now I looked at his profile the other day and it had a quote that was obviously about being with a girl. I know I can't assume anything but from the quote it seems very clear. I would type the quote but I honestly don't remember. It hasn't even been 3 months. How can there be someone else already? And he promised me that when he did date someone else he would never put it in my face. Doesn't he know that it's very possible that one of my friends or I would check his profile and see that? Maybe I'm too considerate of his feelings btu I would never do that. How can he have already moved on to someone else after such a long and serious relationship? I know he'll be calling tomorrow to say merry christmas so should I bring up the whole thing before I jump to conclusions? I just feel so hurt and I wish I could be happy since it is Christmas.

[Mar]

I think you need to consider a couple of things before jumping to conclusions. Firstly, that quote could have been misinterpreted by you, since you're on the lookout for him to be dating someone else. Things have a way of taking on different meaning when we sort of "will" them to. Until he says exactly what it meant to him, relax.

 

Secondly, people heal from breakups at different speeds. 3 months really isn't a "short" period of time to get over someone, in my opinion, regardless of the length of time spent in the relationship. If things were going so badly that he felt the need to end it (which I'm assuming was the case, that he broke it off with you) then it's a good assumption that he'll be out there dating before you will. There's no set timeframe in which someone feels they can start another relationship-people just have different ways of coping and compartmentalizing how they feel and how they deal with those feelings.

 

I would suggest you take it easy if you talk to him. After all, you aren't dating him anymore, so really don't have the right to be accusatory of him and what he's doing with his life now. Ask him casually-if you want to know the truth, casual will get out a lot more information than being "in his face" with it. Any sign of anger or hurt will shut him down pretty quick. But most of all, know your place, as his friend only at this point. If he's chosen to move on, that's his concern, regardless of whether he said he'd tell you or not. Chances are he WON'T tell you, because he'll be afraid of your reaction, which you're showing now!

 

Mar

[enadevoli]

i agree with mar. don't jump to conclusions yet. you can't know for sure that that quote meant any thing. maybe he just liked that quote & wanted to put it in his profile. even if it did mean that he was seeing some one else, he is free to do what he wants now. so really, he can date other people. if you want to know for sure, just ask him.