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Don't want this jealous feeling


Songcatcher320
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My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for over 2 months now. I realize that is not a long time. My boyfriend very rarely tells me anything about his feelings towards me. I think he said he missed me once and he told me he was thinking of me once. Each time it sounded very hard for him to say. My problem is this.....he never has a problem telling me how he feels about someone else. Like his buddy Kim at the gym or some other women that he knows. He tells me how great of a person they are and what all they have done for him. That is what makes me jealous. He never says anything about me or all the things I have done for him. The only way I know he likes me is that he is nice and courteous and that he calls me all the time. I would not be so jealous if he would just say how he feels or thinks about me. I mean if he treats his buddies so well, I think I would rather be his buddy instead of his girlfriend.

 

Can anyone help me understand this??

 

Songcatcher

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Hi Songcatcher

 

I friend of mine told me alone time ago that you can tell someone loves you. Is when the most important thing for that person in their life becomes important to you. What I mean if this guy loves his car, and it is the most important thing in his life. And you ack him to drive his car. We'll if he let's you than you are very important to him because he shared something he really values. For some people it is time, money, it could be almost anything. But he does call you, and that is a start. Some people have a very hard time opening up to someone close to them. It may seem to you that he treats them better. Maybe he knows no other way at present. People skills are learned over a long period of time. As far as being jealous, try not to be. Be proud of you and what you stand for, he will come around. I have always believed that jealousy is a form of caring otherwise you would not be jealous. But when it is acted on, it can get really ugly, and destroy everything your trying to build. And building takes some time. And remember friends and lovers are very different. He may share things with you, that he does not share with them. Hang tough, it will all work out in time. And don't be afraid to tell him how you feel.

 

Good Luck !!!!!

Kuhl

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I think that he may have a problem expressing the things you want to hear, to the people he is speaking about. It's one thing to say: hey, that person over there is great. It's another to tell someone that they are great. Let him know that you have an issue here: "how come you always tell me how you feel about other people, but never how you feel about me. I can tell you (like me/more than like me/etc.), but you never let me know how you feel." It doesn't feel good to know you can say all these things about someone else, but not about me." However, I'd wait a while longer, two months is not so long to be waiting to hear the "I love you." At six months, the issue is overdue.

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