I'm just not happy with myself

[BronzedSkin123]

I hung out with a group of friends again...and the same thing keeps repeating itself over and over again. Whenever I am amongst other girls i seem to fade out in the background. No one says anything to me or even makes eye contact when I smile..and even a guy who was noticing me approached my friend instead. This has caused me to have serious suicidal thoughts. I'll never get a boyfriend if everytime i hang out with friends they go for one of them instead of me. Maybe I am not as pretty as I've been told in the past. I don't know. I am darkskin and I am beginning to hate it. I notice that when I am amongst other women who are lighter than me--unless they are fat and wholly unattractive I don't stand a chance. They don't even acknowledge me.

 

Once I was at a store with my friend and this guy kept hitting on her and talking to her while just totally ignoring me. I feel so sad. It's always happens it's like suddenly when I am in company of another girl I feel like the ugliest girl alive. I notice my flaws and my skin looks even darker than usual (she is lighter than me). i don't know maybe i lack sex appeal or what. but i feel like getting cosmetic surgery to make myself look white

 

like today we were at the mall and the saleslady was getting makeup for us. she looked at me then at her, and told her she has "beautiful lips" while not even complimenting me. I felt so embarrassed and humilated. I know my friend is probably enjoying this and feels that she is much prettier than me. My mood changed and I wanted to go home. I didn't want to be at the mall or do anything else. I was so glad to get away and go home so I could cry.

[SapphireNoir10]

If you believe they will find you attractive, they will. If you believe you are attractive it shines through and you become attractive.

[BronzedSkin123]

If you believe they will find you attractive, they will. If you believe you are attractive it shines through and you become attractive.

that is not true. no matter how much you believe darkskin is attractive it will convince no one but yourself. because i thought my darkskin was attractive and other people do not agree. i want to pursue a derm to see if i can get whiter skin

[SapphireNoir10]

That is absoloutley ridiculous. People arent attractive or unnatractive because of their skin. Infact men LOVE dark skinned women just as much as light skinned. Im as pale as a ghost and look at bronzed skin and feel so JEALOUS. You surely want a guy who finds you attractive for more than your skin tone?

[BronzedSkin123]

That is absoloutley ridiculous. People arent attractive or unnatractive because of their skin. Infact men LOVE dark skinned women just as much as light skinned. Im as pale as a ghost and look at bronzed skin and feel so JEALOUS. You surely want a guy who finds you attractive for more than your skin tone?

 

I am Black so the kind of darkskin I have is not desirable. you as a white person would never want to have a black person's darkskin unless they are a lightskin person with a tan. i just notice that whenever i am in company of a black woman who is lighter than me i get ignored. i feel better when i am just by myself. sometimes when a guy approaches me i think he is full of it because he wouldn't even notice me if i had a lightskin friend with me

[SapphireNoir10]

I think black skin is beautiful. Think of Naomi Campbell shes very dark skinned and plent of people think shes beautiful. I wouldnt care what colour of skin I had. Id be more concerned in finding a man that loved me because of who I was not colour skin I had. Thats silly. If your acting insecure it comes accross and men dont like it. Start believing your attractive. Maybe they just sense your lack of confidence. Any skin colour is beautiful.

[BronzedSkin123]

Whatever. most black guys don't even think naomi campbell is hot. they like beyonce and alicia keys. some of the most lightest black women are considered the most attractive

[dream83]

I've known many people who love dark skin (not to mention the numerous people who lie out in the sun and go to salons in an effort to get/maintain a tan). Call me crazy, but I don't think that's really the issue here.

 

You can have all the cosmetic surgery you want. It won't make the problem you seem to have with your self-confidence go away. Believe me. Confidence is what people find attractive. I mean think about it. How much fun is it to hang around a person who doesn't like him/herself at all? That's why there are large people, small people, tall people, and short people...people with freckles..people with glasses...people with missing teeth...all sorts of people out there who are not lacking when it comes to the companionship of a member of the opposite sex. It matters less how you look if you have a good personality and confidence.

 

If I were you I'd start trying to address the issue by looking inward first. Everyone has things that they don't like about him/herself as well as things that other people have referred to as unattractive. However, the overwhelming majority of people are not driven to suicidal tendencies due to this. If I were you I would dig deep to look at why you're having suicidal thoughts, what it is that you truly don't like about yourself, and what it is about your SELF-IMAGE you need to change.

 

You shouldn't let people tell you that your skin's not beautiful. Dark skin is neither a mistake, nor is it a flaw. You can't let other people have so much control over how you feel about yourself.

[SapphireNoir10]

So you'd be happy if a guy liked you...just because you had lighter skin. How about loving you as a complete package? I'm sure your more attractive than you realise. Just be more confident and out there and im sure the men will flock....Its a bit shallow to go on colour of skin.

[BronzedSkin123]

The people who lie out in the sun to get darker are not trying to get as dark as me or Naomi Campbell. No one is trying to achieve that level of darkness. They want to be tanned like Beyonce which is still light by darkskin people like me standards

 

I just feel completely humilated and ugly how the lady at the department store found nothing attractive about me to compliment..instead she gave my friend one. It was such a big slap in the face. I must really be that ugly

[BronzedSkin123]

So you'd be happy if a guy liked you...just because you had lighter skin. How about loving you as a complete package? I'm sure your more attractive than you realise. Just be more confident and out there and im sure the men will flock....Its a bit shallow to go on colour of skin.

 

I wouldn't want a guy to like me just for having lighter skin..but I know it helps to at least get his attention. Once I get the initial attention then he'll be interested in getting to know the real me

[robinhood]

I think you should calm down first of all. We're only trying to offer help, that's what you're here for. You say you get ignored by men when you're with other girls. Is it a certain "vibe" you're giving off? Is it possible that you seem unapproachable i.e. you don't smile much or your body language says "no"? Your friends are more successful with the opposite sex probably because they give off a more approachable mannerism.

 

You feel that your dark skin is unattractive to men. I'm a guy and I personally don't look at skin colour to determine the attractiveness of a girl. You don't have to believe me, but this is coming from a guy's point of view. I mean, would you have a problem with skin colour when choosing a man? If you do, then you seriously have to reconsider your attitude. It's not right. It's almost racist, even towards yourself.

[SapphireNoir10]

I really wouldnt consider my life over because a department store lady didnt make a comment on my looks. I dont think im particularly attractive. At all. I get on with it. I've got what I've been give and im not going to change that. Im going to appreciate it, it could be worse, you could have a facial deformity or like a poor girl in the UK who had battery acid thrown in her face.

 

Naomi Campbell is A SUPERMODEL. A hugely famous and greatly attractive woman. it is nothing to do with the colour of your skin. its how you carry yourself, if your hiding behind your friends because you feel unattractive how will people notice you.

 

Colour of skin is such a shallow thing. concentrate on finding a guy who loves you for you cos thats who you are!

[drewciouS281]

post a picture of yourself or send me one. I will be completely honest. how are your social skills and how do you dress? are you confident or normal?

[BronzedSkin123]

post a picture of yourself or send me one. I will be completely honest. how are your social skills and how do you dress? are you confident or normal?

 

I am not going to let some stranger judge me. if you say i am not attractive do you know how much that will destroy me. i'd most likely kill myself afterwards. i'd just put my car in the garage run the engine and die

[Bob3000]

Well, just to wade in with another male perspective, the colour (or depth of colour) of someone's skin is just not a factor. It may be for some guys, but it certainly isn't for me.

 

OK, that's not quite true. Anything is is better than pasty white - like I am! Heh heh. Just realised we're not so different. "I feel so unattractive when I'm out with my tanned mates..."

 

In fact, I'm finding myself more and more attracted to darker and darker girls. I think there's a certain intrigue to the difference. Which makes me wonder if the guys you're talking about have also got very dark skin, so are just looking for something different?

 

Either way, how you feel about yourself is much more of a factor, it makes a much bigger difference to how attractive other people will find you than something as superficial as skin tone.

[SapphireNoir10]

That is crazy talk. I suggest seeing a counsellor. You need to build up your confidence. I am SURE you are a beautiful woman in your own way. Your never going to be beautiful IN EVERYONES eyes are you. some people will love your looks others wont. You have to carry yourself with confidence accept what you've got.

 

Just be greatful your face isnt burnt off, or you dont have deformities, that you are a healthy human being.

[SapphireNoir10]

This is beautiful isnt it?

[BronzedSkin123]

This is beautiful isnt it?

 

That is not darkskin. I am by far much darker than her. I am around Gabrielle Union's complexion, probably a bit darker in the summer which is what i hate. As dark as I am, when I tan in the summer it's awful

[Bob3000]

I am not going to let some stranger judge me. if you say i am not attractive do you know how much that will destroy me. i'd most likely kill myself afterwards. i'd just put my car in the garage run the engine and die

1. You can't tell how attractive someone is form a photo. Attractiveness is more than simply looks.

2. Attractiveness isn't the be all of everything; unattractive people can have great lives too.

3. Who cares what some bloke on the internet thinks? (No offence, Drew! ) You certainly shouldn't.

4. It's never worth killing yourself over.

 

As Rose says, it sounds like you need more confidence, and a counsellor (or even a self-help book) can help with that. That will make you feel better, and will make you more attractive...

[SapphireNoir10]

Yep you could be stunning and get treated like crap because you have low self esteem and low confidence. It doesnt matter how you look someones still going to find you attractive!

[SapphireNoir10]

Wellll these girls are stunning models.

[dream83]

Yep you could be stunning and get treated like crap because you have low self esteem and low confidence. It doesnt matter how you look someones still going to find you attractive!

 

Yep. Lots of stunning women are treated like crap. HALLE BERRY was treated like crap...twice...by both men she married!! So, it's not about how you look. But, self-esteem really does go a long way.

[Bob3000]

That is not darkskin. I am by far much darker than her. I am around Gabrielle Union's complexion, probably a bit darker in the summer which is what i hate. As dark as I am, when I tan in the summer it's awful

I've got a friend who's very black. Her skin's almost as dark as her hair.

 

She's also very hot.

 

And very attached...

[rnorth]

You've got to improve your inner dialogue and work on your self-esteem. I believe that if you start feeling better about yourself first and exuding that on the outside, you will get noticed.

 

Change your outlook and it will do wonders. I guarantee it!