I never really fit in

[Mysterious Gurl]

Hello

 

I don't know how I can write this post without feeling a bit pathetic. Basically I'm a 19 year old girl and I always did things differently to everyone else. I never went to uni straight from school, I decided to move town and live with my boyfriend, work and study. It's pretty amazing. It has turned me into a fantastic confident person.

 

It's just whenI look at everyone elses Facebook, they have endless comments, mine however does not. I have messages that have been on my front page for like a month.

 

I work on a cosmetic counter with people either the same age as me or older and I can't seem to connect with them. I know I'm there to work, not to make friends, but it would be nice if I could fit in. So many times on my breaks people who I work with invite each other out but they never seem to think to ask me, even though I'm stood right there ...

 

I've said this before in previous posts, but I'm not that girly or delicate for a girl of my age. I love football, technology, nature and I'm heavy handed and fairly clumsy and awkward. Most girls love shopping, shoes, make up, boy bands and hate football. I'm just different but I don't know who influences me. I don't want to change, I love who I am and what my hobbies are .. I just want to be accepted. I want to have a cirlce of friends who think of me and call me first to invite me out.

 

I don't know if I'm being overly paranoid because I do get on with people. We talk but that's as far as it goes. I get on better with boys than girls which isn't a bad thing. I enjoy their company we can talk about sports, but it would be nice to just be acknowledged ...

 

Can anyone share their experiences or suggest anything?

 

Thanks,

MG x

[Lionel Hutz]

Well, I know how you feel. At times growing up some try to identify with almost everyone they come in contact with. This will create a bit of pressure with social interactions and can sometimes turn into awkward occurrences and irrational self reflection. Essentially when you don't get along with everyone you will wonder what YOU did wrong. Its simple everyone is different and "weird" in their own way. I always wondered why people did not understand me and the way I lived. I realised that I saw things through a different shade than everyone else. You are the same it sounds. Its not bad to be different at all. In fact it inspires people around you whether you believe it or not. Most wish they didn't feel they had to fit in all of the time. Some have trouble standing out and just want to blend in.

 

Don't let those who don't appreciate who you are bother you at all. Its not a big deal, most people are insignificant; just extras in your life. Those who accept who you are are gold and keep those people close to you. They are valuable. I have noticed over the years by mutual respects in alterations of our lives. Its not so bad once you realise no one lives on the planet the way you do. A customized lifestyle in a sense. Enjoy it!

[Excalibur]

In adulthood - most friendships are formed over common interests or shared goals...not becuase we work in the same place, attend the same school, same church, or our parents know one another.

[kamakazee9090]

I know how you feel MG. I used to feel exactly the same way back in high school. Like I was some sort of oddball in my group of "friends" and I didn't know what it is I should do to either fit in more or to get them to treat me like everyone else.

 

What I discovered is that no one is a really true friend unless they can take you and understand you for you. I was always a big tomboy back in high school, still am today but not as hardcore. But I always felt like some people looked at me differently because I didn't dress like a girl or I didn't behave like everyone else. But, I did discover that the friends that did ask me to do things occasionally were the ones that I got along with the most. They were compatible with my personality because theirs were just like mine. We all were able to appreciate each other for who we were and for what we can contribute to each other.

 

It's better to find people who can indirectly make you a better person and know that you can be just yourself around them, no faking, no lies, no deceit. Just plain old you.

 

As the years went by from high school, I did indeed find out who my true friends are. They were the ones who stuck by me through thick and thin. Who were able to take me for a ll of my short comings and to, in a way, love me for the person that I have developed into. In due time, I'm sure you'll find those small circle of friends that can love you for you, that can see you for you and not look for the facade. Don't worry about your coworkers who don't invite you to lunch or something. Show that you can have a fun time without them, that you can do your job just as well and that it doesn't take a lot of energy out of you to be you and love yourself for that.

 

Keep strong MG and I'm sure everything will just fall into place for you

Good luck!

 

Hope I didn't just ramble and made some sort of sense xD

[eTired]

I can sympathize. I am not very friendly, I have had bad experiences with friends, and have been let down by everyone, friend or family that was supposed to be there for me. I have only 2, maybe 3 friends right now that live 1,400 miles away. I am a loner, an introvert, and have no idea how to make friends, and not really anxious to allow people the opportunity to get to know me. People tend to shy away from me, I am just one of those types.

 

I know something of how you feel.

[bijoux27]

Go where you'd meet people closer to yourself. You say that you like sports, so maybe you could make friends at the gym, at sporting events, or in sports clubs. Anywhere you have an interest in, there will be others there too. I'm sure you'll find your crowd =)