I never have anyone to do anything with! :(

[crosstownTraffic]

I used to live in this town many years ago and always had lots of friends back then.. A few years ago... I moved back to town, and things are totally different here.

 

Basically, long story short, all my good friends moved away and I really don't have any friends to do anythign with. If i go to a movie, I go alone, if I go to a concert.. I go alone.. Out to dinner, alone.

I know people, but they never want to do anything with me.

 

I Should be in a mental hospital by now I guess, it's so depressing, but I just go thru life, for the moment, having no one to do anything with, and really no friends or company.

 

I used to have lots of friends. It's not like I'm unfriendly person at all, I always say hit ot new peopel and talk to them. It's just no one really wants to be my friends.

I have talked to alot of peopel who moved out of this area, and they all agreed, that this town has just become very cliquey! well, I can kind of tell that is true too, cuz I will go to other towns and be totally amazed that people will actually speak to me in stores or what not and try to be friendly.

 

I may be able to buy a house soon...but I know this area so well, I'm just hesitant to move away (I like the area really, it's just the social aspects of it that stink, that's all), but I don't want to move somewhere that I know nothing about the place and end up being more miserable than I am now.

 

It will be several months though, before I'm able to move.. I still got about 5 months lease left on my house.

 

How do people get thru life having no one to hang out with? I go on the internet and try to go to message boards, but this is just staring to suck!

I just wonder sometimes why God has left me in this state... my family... they really don't have much to do with me... There's not many left in my family.. I had about 4 deaths in my family in recent years.. but the few ones I have.. they are not too friendly either....

All I really have for friends is my pets! which i guess is better than nothing.. but what does one do to get friends in a town that is so cliquey.

 

I would gladly go somewhere to meet people but gas is so high now.. I just cannot afford it.. Actually I am having a hard time making ends meet period!

 

This town pays like the worst in the state and we live in the most costly part of the state, so I'm like between a rock and a hard place.

I go to church sometimes, and that helps some.. but even there.. no one really wants to be my friend.. They will talk to me, of course, but after service, I just go home alone....

Has anyone else gone thru a period in their life where they really did not have any friends to speak of?

what did they do about it? I don't want to become depressed over it.. cuz I know in a way.. i'm lucky just to be in a nice spot where the scenery is nice and it's rather peaceful...

It's just that all this solitude.. is jsut making me.. well, so lonely.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I used to feel like you...but over the years I ended up getting accustomed to being alone and it doesn't bother me anymore...in fact, I rather like it....there is no BS to put up with.

[lifeiscash]

I'm pretty lonely right now too. It sucks and I totally know where you are coming from. My problem is that I have people that say they always want to hang out with me and when it comes time to do something they don't reply or they go off and do something else. Either way we are both in the same situation.. oh well I have a six pack in the fridge.. I suggest you stock up and do the same

[Russ]

I'm pretty lonely right now too. It sucks and I totally know where you are coming from. My problem is that I have people that say they always want to hang out with me and when it comes time to do something they don't reply or they go off and do something else. Either way we are both in the same situation.. oh well I have a six pack in the fridge.. I suggest you stock up and do the same

 

I laughed when I saw that.

 

Unfortunately, if you're having a hard time making ends meet, you won't be stocking up on booze anytime soon.

 

Have you tried social sites like Facebook? Or dating sites like link removed? Unfortunately, there is a physical aspect that comes first on such sites, but hey, if that's a problem, you've got a goal to reach Buy a membership to a gym, and get to getting. You can potentially make friends in the gym along the way, but most importantly, your self-confidence will rise, allowing you to take control of the situation. Because in a lot of situations, it's really your confidence that makes the difference between a friend and an acquaintance. And a gym membership only costs $30-$40 per month

[Maree79]

I am so lonely right now too. I went to link removed to try to find some new hobbies & meet new people. I have my first meetup next week. I just want friends like I had back home.

 

I know your pain crosstown.

[Nixee]

I feel this frustration often as well... so you definitely aren't alone.

 

I've gradually made some friends in this area, but moving over to regular hang-out time with them is hard sometimes, and what is even more frustrating to me is that it feels like so many people are flaky and blow plans off, don't call when they are supposed to, or just change plans on me when we were supposed to do things... drives me nuts.

 

But Facebook and Myspace are good suggestions for meeting people online.... and gyms and local clubs, or your church as you mentioned you go to one... those are decent ways to meet folks as well. Dating sites can be good too, but if you are mostly looking for friends that can be hard because obviously those sites are where you will be finding people looking for a bit more.

 

It is hard though.... gotta be strong and get used to being good with your own company.

[crosstownTraffic]

Well... I'm so used to my own company it's ridiculous. Maybe I should just give up and resolve myself to a life of solitary, but I don't think I'm a bad person at all. If I could have friends before, I just cannot see why I cannot have them now.

I know what you mean though, poster, People are so darn flaky. they promise they will call, never do.. never even act sorry for not calling back..

It hurts your feelings doesn't it.

But I appreciate all your posts.. that at least make me feel less lonely!

 

I have tried the dating site too and found them pretty useless for me, anyway... I live in such a remote area.. no one wants to come up this way....

 

Darn.. I missed the air show today!! Darn it.. I went to this lady's birthday party. she is very elderly.. and they had a big hoopla for her.. She's been friendly to me for years as we always go to her house every week to jam and play music..

But i realized as I left there, I've been going to this place for over 15 years and did not even have anyone from that place to have coffee with!

However. I used to have really good friends from there.. but we lost touch, or they moved away!

 

well.. I am not sure I can even afford a gym.. I don't have a FT job now.. and things are extremely tight for me.. but maybe I could join a bike club or something like that!

Who knows..... I did meet a friend that way one time before.. and it would help me lose weight...

Hopefully I'm up to that much exercise..I am afraid i just pulled a muscle trying to move the a/c upstairs! I would be willing to join a hiking club too.. I like the outdoors.. I'm just afraid.. all I would meet are people who are married and dont' really need a close friend anyway...

well, i guess you don't know if you don't try, right?

Thanks everyone for writing on my post anyway. I appreciate it!

[Russ]

Every married couple have a couple of loose single friends who drive them insane. They'd love nothing better than to get them married so they could hang out like married couples are supposed to

[sti_2004]

Hey crosstowntraffic whats up.

 

I've been in your boat for the list couple years now. I also moved back home and found no one there worth hanging out with so i just chilled alone.

 

I do make friends easily but i just move all the damn time. Im also trying to make best friends only and not toxic friends like i have in the past so im having a hard time with that.

 

I have been to the movies, concerts alone. it has to be the most god damn depressing

thing ever. i just want to cower home but i also dont want my situation to force me to miss out on life.

its one thing trying to find a girlfriend let alone any friend at all.

 

reminds me of that movie cast away.....only he had wilson for company.

Im right there with you.

 

 

[crosstownTraffic]

Russ, that's so funny, "Every married couple have a couple of loose single friends who drive them insane. They'd love nothing better than to get them married so they could hang out like married couples are supposed to"

 

Sti 2004.. yeah.. i understand where you coming from.. I mean.. sure.. you can sit at home crying in your beer, feeling sorry for yourself.. but that seems pretty counter-productive to me.. Still, I know what you mean.. sometimes it seems like you are banging your head on the wall trying to find a "NON-Toxic" friend.. Oh.. i got plenty of the toxic kind lately, believe me..

 

Yeah.. in hindsight I would rather hang out alone in my house Friday nite with my cat than be with those kind of toxic people.. their inconsiderate "it's-all-about-me" ways are enough to make you clinically depressed!

 

I did go out last nite.. I think I try to be too frugal sometimes. I was pondering whether to go all the way into the next county to see a friends band play..

 

They did tell me they were playing out there.. and I did want to see them.. but it was a long way down the hill and the gas alone would of been $12 plus the cover to get in (another $8 at least, never mind something to drink (they are the type to never offer to buy you a drink in that town). I know.. I lived there for years and no one ever offered once to buy me a drink in that town!

Even though I asked my friend to put me on the guest list... like that is so hard.. I know it's not.. my brother's been in bands all his life, I knew he probably would not bother.

 

He did say he was going to give me one of their newly released CDs... well, they got a member in the band.. (talk about toxic relationships...whew) Basically.. long story short.. his sometimes girlfriend or gal pal.. or sex friend.. whatever you want to call it.. has often physically assaulted him.. once right in front of me at one of their gigs!

At the same gig I saw her hitting her bf, she got in my face and started screaming at me at the top of her lungs.. and scared the living daylights out of me! Did anyone come to my aid?? No.. no one at all, (even though all the guys in the band are at least 6 feet tall! Then her bf (a member in the band) actually saw me out in the parking lot as I was leaving and said.. "well, Sheila never liked you in the first place" right after she threatened me..! Crazy friends huh? And they were the ones who invited ME to their gig!

Then she came after me again.. and wouldn't even let me leave the parking lot and started screaming and threatening me again! Nice people to hang out with huh??? Not!!!!! LOL...

I really like the band.. but ever since that incident I have been afraid to go to their gigs..

I even called my friend last nite and asked if he'd actually put me on the guest list.. or if Sheila was going.. cuz I have no intentions of being harassed by that looney tune chick again!

yeah... weird friends.. so I know where you are coming from sti 2004.. These people need counselling.. We all keep hoping that the band member will dump the abusive gf.. but he doesn't.. They both drink heavily so I doubt that relationship will end soon.. or maybe ever! He's just too stupid to try find someone normal I guess.. who knows????

 

Anyway.. i decided instead of steading like $20 in gas and cover charges to see their band and risk being accousted, I would just stay in town..

I usually hate going out downtown cuz it's become so cliquey but there is a FEW clubs I still like, though you always have to pay a cover charge to get into..

Well, sometimes shelling out some money is worth it.. I went to one of my fave spots... wish I had hit it earlier..but it was only $7 to get in and they had the best band there.. I love reggae and they had 2 great reggae bands! They were GREAT and everyone was mellow and dancing, having fun... it wasn't crowded either.. so plenty of room to move around.. I met this guy who was dancing around and kind of flirting with me.. and it was just a good evening.. even though I came in alone..

I always feel comfortable in that club... Everyone nice is nice in there...really! They got good bands.. the doorman is cool.. the bartenders are good.. I have never ever seen any fight or disagreement in there either..

Some of the clubs there's been fights and even knifings in!

 

I don't know why I keep forcing myself to go to clubs where I really don't feel comfortable... This club is cool.. the bands are always good. they got a nice full bar.. the bartenders are prompt.. the other clubs you wait like 20 minutes just to get a drink sometimes... and it's not in a bad section of town.. There's even good parking accross the street that safe & well-lit! I need to go there more often and forget these stupid clubs that have nothing but cliquey people in it..

Later.. the band broke down their set and everyone went home.. I walked to my car and ran into a guy I knew, whom I had met before.... He's a really nice guy... unfortunately he's homeless.. he just came from New Orleans.. but we sat there chatting for about 20 minutes.. which felt really nice... he is a really sweet person..

 

Anway.. as I was sitting there talking to him.. i saw the guy from the club who had been dancing near me and kinda flirting with me and I called out hello.

He caught up to me and invited me to go have coffee and a bite to eat.. so we went off to this late nite restaurant and have some snacks... well, that was nice really...

he was a nice guy.. he did not ask for my number.. but said well, maybe I will see you again.. so.. that was not a bad evening.. usually I go out and no one talks to me at all!

 

I actually know where he works.. A friend of mine also works there..and I could go and ask for him.. I suppose if I wanted to catch up with him again.. I felt kind of sick after awhile while we were eating.. I hadn't had much to eat during the day.. and my blood sugar dropped so mcuh.. i started to feel faint..

I think I should of given him a ride to his car but I wasn't feeling too swift to start with.. he, though, walked me back to my car.. Maybe I will stop by and say sorry, for not giving you a ride back to your car.. would you like me to treat you to lunch somtime? As he did treat me....

I dunno.. he seemed like a really neat person..very interesting & intelligent... I wouldn't mind someone like that for a friend..

 

What do you think?? Well, at least I had a semi-good evening.. I'm glad I stopped in that club.. it was fun.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

If a friend of yours works at the same place, why not talk to your friend and get the scoop on this guy. Maybe you can have a get together and invite this guy along. I think going about this in a less direct manner might break the ice a bit more, especially since he didn't ask for your number.

[crosstownTraffic]

Well, you know what crazy.. I tried to call her.. but I am not even sure she's in town anymore! She said she was leaving town soon.. so I may go down to the place to see if she's there...

 

You think it would be too forward to just ask him out for lunch?? You might be right.. I just felt bad I did not give him a ride back to his car after he treated me to a late nite snack.. but I was feeling weird again.. like my blood sugar was dropping..

Oh.. speaking of other weird friends.. yeah.. we were invited to a party yesterday during the day.. I thought it was going to be at their house, but they had it at a public place instead and you had to pay $8 jut to get a meal there! Well, I did not have $8 plus the gas money to get back home.. as it is way accross town.. so I just did not eat..

About 6:30 pm I started to feel really weak as all I had to eat was breakfast and coffee.. I really thought they were going to have a big spread for us at their house, but no one bothered to tell me they were not having the party at their house!

Another toxic group of friends..Luckily this nice lady who we sometimes jam with, gave me half of her dinner plate she had to buy! Otherwise I think I would of passed out!

Yeah.. sti... i am getting so tired of these toxic friends.. They are just plain bad for you, aren't they??? LOL... Guess that is why they call them toxic!

 

Well, I need to stay clear of those people... but this guy was genuinely nice... and he didn't come on to me either.. which was cool. ya know.. i hate when guys try to force themselves on me, when I hardly know them...

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Sure, go ahead and ask him for lunch. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

[WaterIsLife]

Try getting out of your comfort zone a little. Start doing things you've never done before. You'll meet people that you never would have crossed paths with otherwise.

 

Join a club in something that interests you but you've never done. Like hiking, biking, remote control planes, whatever. You'd probably be surprised the types of clubs/groups that are in your area, even if its a small town. Check out link removed

 

I've done this, not through link removed, but just looking around. I joined a local rowing club and took a pinhole camera 'leisure' course at a community college. All of the people I've met are way out of the normal circle I usually travel in.

 

You'll find many of these groups have a wide range of demographics, ages, etc of people too.

[crosstownTraffic]

I did look up the link removed.. Right now.. it's wicked hot.. so I doubt I'd want to go hking in the 95 degree heat.. but it's a start anyway..

I always put myself out of my comfort zone. I don't even live in an area I grew up anywhere near actually!

So.. being a foreigner in a stranger in a strange land is nothign new to me! I think that is the problem though.. the places I hang out.. it's like I have nothing in common with the people who are hanging out there...

 

So.. maybe the meetup thing could be good.. I'm not in my 20s anymore.. so not sure facebook would be a good spot for me.. isn't it basically for young teens and 20s Russ?

 

I would like to join a biking club.. i was in one before and that was good.. actually i made a really good friend from that club... one I had for a long time.. we still speak sometimes.. and we've known each other now for like 16 years now!

 

I just wish it would cool off.. this weather is scary. I'm afraid to go out to my car.. we are having wicked heat wave.. maybe I will just stay home online til it gets safer to go out in!

[Russ]

Facebook is for people of all ages.

 

I actually buy some of the advertising from Facebook from my company targeting 30+ age range.

 

Anyways, are you interesting in webmastering by any chance? It's a great hobby and you've got the time to learn. And webmasters are everywhere, ofcourse, so there are always conventions and such to meet people at. Very friendly people, I have to add. For example, in my city, Vancouver, we've got John Chow [huge blogger], Mike [owner of link removed - Huge webmaster tool sale site] and Markus [owner of link removed] to name a few I know. And me, ofcourse, but I'm not known for webmastering. When I started off, and before I got into heavier business, I was making 3-4 grand a month. Pretty damn delightful for a hobby, I have to say

 

You'll have money in the pocket, etc. I'll PM you a few good resource sites if you want to get learning, or look into it atleast

[sti_2004]

what does webmastering involve and whats a blogger anyway?

 

But crosstowntraffic its cool that you are recognising bad friends more. It was almost too late before I realised how much crap you can get into when you roll with a bad crowd.

I like how your into reggae, that can be a good scene... do you smoke marijuana at all??

It might be in your best intrest to not even go out to gigs where everyones just getting wasted.. I only put myself in that atmosphere when its worth it, like if its a big show ive been trying to see.

Your band member mates seem like aholes since they didnt stick up for you..

Maybe you should ditch them so they cant count you as someone that shows up at their shows......

 

Is also too hot where im at (desert) to go biking (for me anyway) but thats one thing i want to get into....

 

hmmm whats this link removed..

[Russ]

Basically, websites for money is the words of the day. Be it through affiliate partners, or doing the actual program work. Blogging is the most popular way at the moment, since there's no programming required, just fresh content every day and some knowledge about effective advertising.

[crosstownTraffic]

Oh, yeah definitely would be interested in the webmaster thing. I took a few HTML classes, and SQL and PHP, fireworks, dreamweaver.. I got that whole program as a matter of fact, though probably have to update it.

But that would definitely be something I'd love to explore more, and I am a blogger! I've been doing that for a few years now.

 

Well, I've got to PM you then Russ.. Hey thanks so much for the tips.

 

This site is awesome when it comes to resources and people giving you good ideas. I would love to start my own website....

I'll PM you later after my walk.. it's finally cooled down enough to get out without heatstroke! Thanks Russ!

[Blue Streak]

Basically, websites for money is the words of the day. Be it through affiliate partners, or doing the actual program work.

 

It is all about marketing, anybody can develop a website. The cash flow on average from 1 comp to the next is tremendous when it is broken down. Coming up with the next biggest thing, to be sold on line, is the challenge. Once you do, as many are doing everyday, marketing accross the world takes approx 2 seconds when done correctly.

[Russ]

It is all about marketing, anybody can develop a website. The cash flow on average from 1 comp to the next is tremendous when it is broken down. Coming up with the next biggest thing, to be sold on line, is the challenge. Once you do, as many are doing everyday, marketing accross the world takes approx 2 seconds when done correctly.

 

Marketing Strategy Director for an IT Development company here. You speak the truth

[Blue Streak]

Marketing Strategy Director for an IT Development company here. You speak the truth

 

Kudos to you. It is not easy these days to stand strong in IT development, especially in web development!!! I used to be a developer but the passion was not there for me. I was not willing to deal with the short term contracts along with the competition down the road for long term prospects. At this point, I will run my own biz if I can find something down the road. Good luck to you.

[crosstownTraffic]

Well, you guys have lost me now... bluestreak and russ! lol..

 

Yeah, please do PM me the details.. and what I would need to do... to get setup...

 

Where do I do webhosting at? I found one website recently, not sure how much traffic, but it's free for now.. I need to get online.. and the transfer program FTP.. is that available for Macs?

Any info you could send would so so be appreciate. I'm making basically peanuts now at my current job.