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My Boyfriend dumped me and I need help!!

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Me and my boyfriend have been dating for only three months and it's been so hectic!! I've had relationships before that have been about 2 years long, but now I look back and see that they were just acts of stupidity. I still cannot believe that in only 3 months time that I fell head over heels in love with this guy. He is a bit of a class-clown and he always gets in trouble, and he doesn't have much of a good home life. At first I thought he was a loser; but then again, I don't like to judge people from what's on the outside. I started going out with him and about 3 weeks later, he was sent off to another city because his parents neglected raising him. I was so upset because it was the night of homecoming and I was really looking forward to being able to go with him because he promised he'd take me. We still kept in touch, even though I was devistated and cried a lot and called his Mother and asked her why she sent him off. She never liked me and always hung up on me. Well after 2 months he finally came back home and it just wasn't the same. Sure, he was back in school and I was happy..but he acted different. "Maybe the Hawthorn people did him some good" I thought because he wasn't getting in trouble much and I liked his outcome. But as time passed, our relationship had gotten worse and we got into arguments very easily and he always complained of me "blowing him off" but I thought he wanted to see his friends?? I know I wanted to see my girlfriends so we decided to give each other some space. Then it started getting a bit out of hand because his best friend got in the way of almost everything. We never went out on dates because he was always at his friend's house.. We never talked much because we were to wrapped up in our friends' business..and I was getting sick of it. Then Christmas is around the corner and I buy him a gift and invite him to my house to exchange gifts and he says his Mother won't let him come. I was so convinced that that was literally (BS) and I told him that and we argued on the phone because he thought all I wanted was money out of him, but all I really wanted was to see him the day before I had to go out of state for 2 weeks to see my family. "Ok, fine..whatever..you have a good one." was the last thing he said. The next day of school we wouldn't give each other eye contact and he was spreading rumors around the school saying he dumped me because I wouldn't have sex with him. And man oh man I was furious. At least I'm smart to wait, y'know? And he never even asked me in the first place!! So I didn't understand that, but I told him at the end of the day "I will walk away, but I'm not gonna mourn over you..I'm gonna find someone else; and I do love you, but this is gonna take some time" and we shook hands at the end and agreed. I was proud of that at first, but as I was walking away I couldn't help but bawl and realize that what I said was just all talk. I had been in love with him ever since he was sent off to that city.. I had the roughest time while he was away and I was pretty convinced by him that he felt the same way .. We wouldn't talk..but I still needed answers! So I called him and the first time he wouldn't talk to me, the second time he hung up on me, and the third he finally talked and I got SOME of my questions answered. He said he didn't know why he lied to me and said he loved me all that time. And He said that I got mad at the littlest things.. I asked him "Well..If you did love me..then why haven't you tried to talk things out and make sense?" He said he was trying to talk then..but then his friend Joseph came on the phone and said how much he hated me and everything so that made me feel upset, and that's where the conversation ended. My brother talked to him and told him how upset I was and he told him he was sorry to hear that. That was all that was said about me. And that was the last time I've heard from him. It's been really hard to try and get over him..I've tried liking other people, but everyone else either has a crush on someone else or they're taken!! And I cry myself to sleep thinking about all the things he was willing to throw away in our relationship. I miss him a lot..and I don't know if he misses me..he's the one who dumped me, so I guess not. Hopefully once Christmas vacation is over and high school starts again, then everything will be fine and maybe we can all work this out. I'm only hoping and praying right now and I need and will accept all the advice I can get to help me in this situation! I'm sorry if my story has dragged a bit..I'm not that good when it comes to talking about my feelings like this. But I'm looking forward to hear from guys and girls who have gone through somewhat of the same experience with a loved one like I have.. Once again thank you!

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im sorry to hear about what happened. i understand that you are in love with this guy, but he is a jerk. he lied to you & spread rumors about you. no bf should do that. but i know you can't help your feelings, so i can't just tell you to stop liking him cause he is a jerk. its hard to get over someone you care so much about, but in time you will. you probably right now think that you will never get over him, but it really will happen. i would say that do not make any contact with him right now cause that is only going to make it harder for you. it also helps to write your feelings down, maybe in a journal or poetry. no one can say how long this is going to take you, it takes more time for some people.

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Yeah all my friends warned me about him in the first place.. I should have listened to them... Ugghh now I'm in the worst situation of the relationship. I've been trying really hard to avoid contact with him for awhile and I figure that if anything can work out again, we both just need some time apart to think about all this..and maybe learn from it. I know that I have contributed faults into the relationship to and I'm willing to change them and I hope he is too. Thanks for your help.

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Hey girlfriend, from what you say about him spreading rumurs about you and stuff and not giving you an absolute reply, it seems to me that he's a really immature guy. He shouldn't have let his friend got in the way of you guys. In a relationship both parties should make time for each other. He probably doesn't even know what he wants if not he won't have lied to you and hurt you so. Ask yourself do you really want to stay with a jerk like him? Someone who will hurt you and lie to you and not be sensitive to your feelings? You deserve better then that. I know you don't think like that right now but you'll have to be strong. Dun let him see you crying or sad. you have to show him that you'll as well without him. time will heal everything. all the best...

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