Insecurities...

[PinkAngel]

Thanks to everyone who responded to my previous post about my guy commenting on how other girls look, such as she's hot, etc. One question that came up after our conversation was that he felt I was very insecure with myself and that's why it bothered me and that I was overreacting. I do feel insecure and I guess my question is how do I work on that? I am a heavy girl and I know my boyfriend at first didn't like that about me. In fact, we had a discussion about the first time we met and he told me (I asked what he thought of me when we met) that he thought I was very pretty and nice, but the only thing that turned him off was that I was overweight. But after looking at himself and the fact that he wasn't superman either (he's kind of thin) that it shouldn’t make a difference if two people seem to like each other. I appreciated him being honest with me about that. So I've been going to the gym now for over 3 months (not just for him but for myself as well) and I've lost a couple of sizes, but when he looks at skinny girls and points out that they look good, I feel even more insecure. He doesn't point out that they are skinny, but he never looks at plus sized girls and says that. Only thin women. Yes he tells me he doesn't like really skinny girls. Now I can't blame him for looking at them because society has conditioned us to think skinny is better than fat, but I can't help but feel insecure when he looks at those girls. I know I should be more confident and he tells me he's fine with the way I am because he loves me. But I still think he wants me to look more like those girls. I feel it even though he doesn't say it. How do you get over that?

[scared and alone]

What I tell my boyfriend when he feels the need to stare or talk about other girls, I tell him to go after them if he needs to stare and talk about them all the frikin time.

[chasey]

Insecurity can a hard thing to overcome. And his commenting on other women like that WILL NOT help. I've never understood how men can act like that and not realize how disrespectful it is to their SO or how upsetting it can be. I'm sure if the shoe was on the other foot they would be upset themselves (of course would never admit it).

 

I think the most important thing is to do is what you are doing. By going to the gym to make yourself feel better about yourself - remember you have to do this for you not him. Everyday stop and do something that makes you feel good about yourself, makes you happy. Even if it's something as small and simple as having a bubble bath. The more you love yourself the more confident and secure you'll be.

[chasey]

What I tell my boyfriend when he feels the need to stare or talk about other girls, I tell him to go after them if he needs to stare and talk about them all the frikin time.

 

Good one!!!!!