She is dating multiple guys?

[Annonomous]

I have been out with this girl 4 times now and always have good time. We spend way to long talking online etc. also. However i have discovered today that she is going to be going on a date with another guy very soon. Do i just leave this and carry on how we are or say something? Im not sure whats acceptable and whats not when it comes to dating as ive only been out of a long term relationship for a couple of months.

[novaseeker]

I have been out with this girl 4 times now and always have good time. We spend way to long talking online etc. also. However i have discovered today that she is going to be going on a date with another guy very soon. Do i just leave this and carry on how we are or say something? Im not sure whats acceptable and whats not when it comes to dating as ive only been out of a long term relationship for a couple of months.

 

If you are not exclusively dating each other (which would be normal for having been on so few dates so far), it's normal to be dating other people. Not everyone dates multiple people at once, but many do.

[ghost69]

you aren't exclusive. you have no say.

[i_win]

I'd agree with the above poster and at this point she owes you nothing and you owe her nothing. You're just getting to know one another at this point.

 

After you've been on more dates and as you start to naturally want to spend more time with one another, then you might suggest that you'd like to give things a shot and form an exclusive relationship with her.

 

I don't mind if a girl is dating others, but if I get hints of any physical activity with the other men in her life I'd probably bail.

[Scorpion Fury]

It's not your place to say anything at this point. Technically, she's not your girlfriend yet, even though you've had a few dates and talk a lot. In the dating world, anything goes until you've had "the talk". Until you have had the talk and know exactly where you stand, and have both decided to be "exclusive", you're both free agents.

 

Now, with that said, if you want this girl to be your "girlfriend", you need to step it up a notch and have that talk with her. See if she feels the same.

 

Good luck!

[Stambler]

This sounds like typical on-line dating behavior... was it through an on-line service?

 

I personally only date one woman at a time, and prefer the same from those who I date. I'm not saying things need to get serious too quickly, but when I'm interested in someone, I don't date anyone else. That's just me.

 

If I want to go to dinner with a friend, I do just that, I take a friend! Male or female!

[Clementine orange]

Tell her you are going on a date (or even better actually go on a date) see how that shakes out.

Sometime women will tell you they are dating someone else too in order to gauge your "freak out" level. No, really..ture

[Superfreak]

You need to have the talk with her about being exclusive if you don't want it to continue. At my age, 4 dates seems like the perfect amount of time to transition from casual to serious, although older people on this board tend to wait longer before being exclusive from what I can tell.

 

It's kind of a tricky situation. You can't show her that you don't care at all that she's dating someone else, but at the same time you can't show her that you're jealous and protective this early on. I guess it's best to let her go on her date, don't bother to ask her how it went or bring it up unless she does, schedule another date with her, then have the talk about whether you're relationship has reached the point of being b/f and g/f.

[lillie]

At the moment im dating 5 or 6 guys,i cant remember how many off the top of my head!lol

 

But i felt guilty about kind of playing the field until i knew which one i liked. But i thought well no,i have to do this so that i can find out. I did feel bad about it though because i felt like i was being underhanded,but i wasnt i was just looking at it logically..

 

Now iv made my mind up which one to go for,i might tell him what happened..But not until we are married!lol

[brian123]

I met a girl a few weeks ago and we've kissed and I plan on taking another girl out tonight. I've dated 3 girls in one week before (nothing sexual)

 

If she likes you, you will be the one she chooses. Otherwise, her loss. Keep dating out there yourself.

[brian123]

At the moment im dating 5 or 6 guys,i cant remember how many off the top of my head!lol

 

But i felt guilty about kind of playing the field until i knew which one i liked. But i thought well no,i have to do this so that i can find out. I did feel bad about it though because i felt like i was being underhanded,but i wasnt i was just looking at it logically..

 

Now iv made my mind up which one to go for,i might tell him what happened..But not until we are married!lol

 

What is a good way to break it off to the ones you didn't choose? The few I am dating are all nice girls, but obviously we all/if any cannot work out and I want to let them down as gently as I possibly can.

[lillie]

What is a good way to break it off to the ones you didn't choose? The few I am dating are all nice girls, but obviously we all/if any cannot work out and I want to let them down as gently as I possibly can.

 

I was going to ask you the same thing!

 

Actually when i say im dating all of them,im not they are all wanting to take me out and so far iv been out with one & got two other dates with two of the others arranged. The remainder are still at email stage. But i have kind of made my mind up & dont want to just disappear. I have thought that i would email them & tell them that i went out on a date & we clicked the same night,thereforeee im not in a position of dating or going out with you again unless its just as friends..

But emailing them all takes up so much time that im going to have to tell them very soon,they are wearing me out!