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lost and not sure what to do


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where to start. My girlfriend is 6 months pregnant, not sure if it is mine or not, and i decinded that it doesn't matter if it is or not i want to be there for her and help raise the beby. We had broke up earlier on this year and she didn't come to me until she was already 3 months pregnant. She told me that she didn't want anykind of support except for mental support. The 3 months that wee have been kinda back together started rocky. She took somethings that i had said out of context. but we had moved on since then and the past month has been great. She started to say "our son" enstead of "her son". I work 2 jobs, my main job is an evening job and my second job is an 3 day a week erly morning job. we had been spending most of our time together in the morning and early afternoon before i went to work. She just started a new job and is working a reguar 9-5 shift and our days off do not match up.


Yesterday she called me when she got off, we were talking about how each of our day had gone. Then she got upset. She said that i was being a A** and she didn't feel wanted. I didn' think that i was. I had not got to see or her from her in almost 5 days and i was really missing her. Everything that i have been doing around her i have kept telling her how much i love her and being around her. I'm not sure how to make her feel wanted more than I have. Within an hour of our fight she came up with a plan to join the millitary and find a way to leave the state to make just her and our unborn son. I feel heart broking and lost right now. I don't want to lose her and i'm not sure what to do???

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Hormones can run really high in pregnancy and make women extra emotional.


She also might have concerns as to whether this is your baby or not, and whether you will actually stick around if you discover it is not your baby. She may already know the child is not yours, and be having second thoughts about that.


All you can do is tell her you love her and you don't want her to join the military. Remind her that there is a good chance that she will be separated from her child in the military when she is in training and if she gets deployed overseas.


She may calm down and come back, but you do need to consider that if she does leave, don't agree to pay child support until there is a paternity test to prove you are the father.

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I agree that you should get a paternity test, for two reasons. I'm not one hundred percent sure of the legalities in the States but here in Canada I think the following would be true.


If the child is yours, I don't think she can leave the state with your child, without your consent, as you have a right to have access to the child.


If the child is not yours and you initially start supporting him/her, you could become legally responsible for supporting that child until they are eighteen.


Although it's very commendable that you've agreed to raise a child that may not be yours, I think that right now you need to find out the legal aspects of all of this. It sounds like the two of you are fairly young, so what seems like a good idea right now, may not seem so great seven or eight years from now when you may no longer be with her and could be supporting a child that isn't yours and that you no longer have contact with.


As for her actions right now, she's pregnant and might be having some hormonal mood swings.

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