Should I walk away completely? Need advice

[MissingmyBestfriend]

s need your advice/help.........want to walk away without saying goodbye

First, I don't want to come accross cold or callous. I need your help everyone. My girl and I met online back in February 08. The beginning was great as we got together. We shared so much in common. We shared our fears. One of her fears was as guys done to her in the past...they woud only come around when it was convenient for them and when they wanted sex.

 

I have showed her that I want the same. I am very affectionate and loving. We broke up the 1st time with her telling me little lies and started to withdraw emotionally from me being less affectionate and only being around when it was convenient for her. Two weeks later, I write her a nice email thanking her for the experience and wish her the best. She sent me a text message saying we need to talk. We talk and she apologized for withdrawing from me since she claims that she is not use to relationships and said she is not use to sex though she is not a virgin. So, we went back out for the 2nd time. Some examples of her withdrawing is when I come to her work with a rose and bear, she said ok, thanks with no emotion and return back to work while I was still there. Second, I drove up to her work after she was just got off since we were going to meet down the street for dinner, I got out of the car, and she barely hugged me in which I asked her immediately if she was embarrassed of me hugging her in front of her co-workers which She said "No". I went up to hug her again and she barely made the effort to hug me. I felt that she indirectly informed her coworkers on how she feels for me and disrespected me. She said. “She doesn’t like surprises” and was just stressed. Also, During sex, I would get her off then, she would make up lame excuse i.e mentioning the time basically saying to me that getting me off isn’t that important to her. I told her “Don’t tease if you’re not going to please”? She promised that night not to do the tease thing anymore. Next day, she lies and does the tease thing again without no regard on how it hurts me. I confronted her on not making empty promises and not just tell me what I want to hear. We broke up over that and how she treated me at her work.

 

Had a another talk. She said “I’m truly sorry, I want to earn my trust back and doesn’t want to mess it up the 3rd time.” 3rd time is a charm right? We went back out with me showing greater patience and understanding. She told me she wants to stay together even though, she wants to work through her issues by needing some space” We will remain committed.” Things started going good but, she is not as affectionate as the 1st time until……..

 

The real kicker….Need your understanding here. I love her very much. Lately, she found out Grandpa has leukemia and needs chemo. I told her that I will be there for her and I love her. I lost my dad too and know the feelings. However, all the promises of rebuilding trust and making me a priority not an option seemed to have disappeared. She told me the next 4 weeks, she has to stay at her elderly grandma’s house to babysit her and spend the nights with her, including being in at 9pm like a curfew. Her grandma lives in a pretty safe neighborhood but, her grandma says she has * * * * ty neighbors. No other relatives will step in to help. We had an argument in which, I attempted a negotiation and a compromise to spend time with her. We had plans to go out during the day then, she said she was going to be with her family. She is always at grandmas house. I talked to her the night before which she was really angry. Afterwards, she said we were cool. Cool? We always talk several times throughout the day, But, I talked to her at 930am in the morning for 30 seconds; she told me she would call ne back and didn’t hear from her 12 hours later. I didn’t answer the phone and haven’t since then. She was at her family’s house all day. It only takes one minute to be loving thoughtful and courteous to call me and tell me that she is ok and how grandpa is doing. My problem is…I felt like she is only there when it is convenient for her, makes me an option than a priority before and after her grandpa having cancer and her disrespecting me. Love is not just a feeling, but a behavior. I am debating about leaving my phone off and not talking to her anymore without telling her due to the lack of love and respect she displays toward me. I know her grandpa is sick, but, I have never pushed my girlfriends away when one of my friends or relatives was deathly sick; I embraced them. She had 12 hours to phone me for a minute. Enotaloner’s; at this time and moment, I am so angry and upset and her that I do want to walk away from her without a another word.Any suggestions, comments, advice??? . I need your feedback. I wanted to elaborate as to dump her or try to talk it out. to be mroe specific Thanks Missingmybestfriend

[Kinetics]

I got the impression she can't control her emotions and doesn't understand her actions can sometimes be offensive to the other person. I don't have an answer but I can at least tell you that don't feel too sympathetic just because she is having family problems, her terrible past, etc. Sure, you can be understanding about it, but don't make it the crutch to your relationship.