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How to become Humble?


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I've been looking for ways to better myself as a person for years now, and i think becoming Humble is what i've been looking for.



I have been selfish and self centered, acting on impulses that benefit myself and always putting myself before others. I have always thought about others first, but i see now that actions speak louder than words and what one actually does are of much greater importance than the intentions a person might think they have.



I have seen a quality in people that i admired and it took me until a few weeks ago to pinpoint it as "humble" or "humility."



The problem is, the people that i have noticed with this quality don't know they have it. Its just part of their beautiful, generous personality.


I'm trying to better myself for my own quality of life and especially for the benefit of my friends and family. i've had hurtful relationships with the people i care most about, and haven't been showing them what they mean to me. But now that i have this intention in my heart, i don't know how to actually make a change in my life to stop thinking about Me and my own benefit.

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Hi Sephora,


You are not going develop humility by looking for it. It isn't a search, but a quality that is cultivated by developing an awareness of the thoughts that come and go. Wanting to be humble is self-centered, as the ego is the desiring part of the consciousness. Humility just happens when you are not wanting it. It is difficult to explain, but simple in nature.


From my experience, paying close attention to the mind is key. The more you pay attention to the mind, the less likely you are to be consumed by its tendencies. When a selfish feeling arises, think, I have a choice here.


It does take time, so you have to be patient.


Be well.

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Keep in mind that being humble has many benefits. Humility can help you be more content with your life, and it can also help you endure bad times and improve your relationships with others. It's also essential to being an effective learner. If you think you know it all, you won't be open-minded enough to seek out new knowledge. Humility is also, somewhat counter-intuitively, an excellent tool for self-development in general. After all, if you feel superior, you have no incentive to improve. Most of all, being humble allows you to be honest with yourself.


Pretending to be humble isn't the same as being humble, and often people who pretend to be humble do it in order to seek out praise. Other people will recognize this, and even if you fool some, you won't derive the same benefits as you would through actually developing humility.

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Good question sephoraX,


I think self esteem can also be tied to humility. If we are afraid of seeming less, we do what we can to defend ourselves - selfishness and selfcentred-ness are a reflection of that fear. I once had a very good conversation with a friend of mine about selfishness and humility. She told me that when she got serious about yoga and found a very good instructor that one of the things he really taught was humility - to be secure enough in yourself to not be so guarded. I'll try and speak to her again and see exactly how she went about learning to become humble.


I think easyguy's suggestions are good. You should learn what is is that triggers these behaviours and why. usually I find most behaviours are down to fear (usually a fear of feeling like you are 'less-than'). If you learn what causes these reactions to manifest themselves in you, you can more easily stop for a second and think twice about what you are doing.

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