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Hi. I'm new, i'll get to the point. I have had a horrible past with guys, my past ex of about a year tried to kill me, stalked me, tried to rape me, convinced me it was consentuial (which he didnt' succeede in either) and cheated on me while my mom was in intensive care. there is more, but i dont' want to get very personal or whine. my issue is, i've grown a lot since then, rededicated my life to Christ, and found a great guy. He's sweet, never angry, understanding, and he doesn't even want to kiss yet (its been about 4-5 months) hes amazing, but i'm afraid to love again. i'm so scared of falling in love with him and scared of hurting that i try to find bad in him and stir up fights and contriversiry, to end it but i don't want to, at all i love him i just can't get hurt again. its like this is a rope, with my heart i am pulling at it, and my head is pushing away, as if my life was one big tug-of-war game. i want to love but i push him away with fights and i'll try to find the bad in him all the time, but i can't. why am i doing this? can i get over this? is there anything i can do, bc he's a great thing that happened to me, and i dont' want to let it go, but if i continue on how i am right now, its looking that it may end..............

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each person has its own differences. no two person in this world that are the same.

this guy might be bad but not as bad as your former. this guy might be a good lover but not as good as other guys.

if you keep on thinking bad things about this guy you might as well end up in the same problem with your former BF. for sure, this guy now is very much different from the former. but if you keep on saying bad things about him, you will turn him into a bad guy as well. consider him as different from other guys. it would be fair enough if you will treat him as different from the rest of the guys.

i hope i gave you something to ponder.

goodluck and God bless..

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i understand that you are afraid of getting hurt, we all can get that way some times. maybe you got into this relationship when you weren't ready?? we all have fears & in life, we have to face our fears. love is one of those things you have to take a risk with. i understand that it might be harder for you because of your ex bf. maybe it would help to talk to a counsler to help you get over this feeling. it seounds like you have a great guy who understands you. don't let this ruin your relationship.

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hello. you may not want to go for this idea, but it is something i would do. you seem to really care about this guy, but your past is keeping you from letting your guard down. i'd write him a letter, telling him exactly how you feel, all the good things and why you argue and everything. (you don't have to tell him everything, just give him an idea) that way when you start to worry about getting hurt he can look back on that letter and know how you really feel, even if you don't show it.


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