What should i do?

[The_ok_guy]

Hey,

 

I have been with my girlfriend for 11 months now. We haven't slept together, but it feels as though its something that may happen soon.

 

Sex is not something we had really spoken about before, so the other night i brought it up by asking her what she thought about sex. She didn't really say much, so i asked her if it was something she had done before. She didn't answer, and said its not something she wanted to talk about right now.

 

Previously i had just assumed she was a virgin, as she had once told a mutual friend that it was the case.

 

So yeah, i am not sure what to do. I feel a little concerned/worried that she couldn't directly be honest with me. Do I have the right to know/ask?

 

Any advice would be great, cheers

[Taking The Lead]

I think it's healthy for couples to communicate. That's why I think you should at least push the issue just a little if it bothers you. Just be very compassionate towards her, and have an open discussion. A serious one, not a silly one.

[DeviousStares]

Yes!

 

You deserve to know if she is a virgin or the # of people she has slept with.

 

It is a huge deal when 2 partners in a relationship can't be honest with each other; especially on such a big issue.

 

As for her mentioning she was a virgin to a mutual friend, if the answer is different when she tells you such as "She is NOT a virgin" Do not flip out.

 

She has her reasons for telling people certain things. But the level of trust between yall should be higher than that of the mutual friend.

[The_ok_guy]

Thanks for the replies.

 

I was really just wanting to check that It's "within my right" to talk to her about this stuff.

 

And yeah, i realize that there may have been a reason why she did not tell this mutual friend (i think she was with these 2 other girls who both were virgins, so she may have just said she wasn't to not seem different).

 

So if i again ask her about this and she says she isn't a virgin, is it fair of me to ask her "who was it with?".

[winnie778]

hmmm thats a tough call... you should let her know that this is something you want to discuss but let her come to you.... this is obviously a bit of a sensitive or weird topic for her