Keifer Sutherland (look alike) phoned (update)

[lillie]

Quick update...Went out last weekend (i think) hated it,but gave this guy who looked like Kiefer Sutherland my number.

 

I was just home chilling,listening to some music & my mobile rang. I didnt recognise the number,i just thought it was one of my friends phoning from some guys phone as they were out clubbing lastnight.

Anyway i answered it & low & behold it was the guy from the nightclub! He was out in town & asked me if i was,so i said no im home listening to some music,but my friends are out. Basically he said he remembered me & hoped he would see me tonight & that he thought i was very attractive & would like to take me out!lol

 

Anyway i said well il tell you what,lets text a little,see if we click & if we do we could meet up & have a drink sometime. Do you think that would put him off? Its just that i dont like to rush things. Well he agreed & said 'yeh ok that sounds good,il text you' I said 'and il text you' then we laughed!lol

 

I just thought i should update everyone who got me mentally ready that night,and you all know who you are!lol That i got a result!!!!!hee hee

[servedcold]

Great that he called, congratulations! What's up with the "let's text a bit" though? Why not just meet him for a drink, what is texting going to tell you that meeting in person wouldn't? You aren't obligated to anything if you go out with him once (or is there a brit dating culture thing I don't know about?). Hopefully he won't be turned off by this, but if he is a man with options, he may just move on to a woman who will actually go out with him. Keep us posted.

[JadedStar]

Is this the guy you mentioned on the weekend thread? (i.e. i got laid).

 

If so, too late to not rush things. LOL

 

Or is this a different guy?

[lillie]

Great that he called, congratulations! What's up with the "let's text a bit" though? Why not just meet him for a drink, what is texting going to tell you that meeting in person wouldn't? You aren't obligated to anything if you go out with him once (or is there a brit dating culture thing I don't know about?). Hopefully he won't be turned off by this, but if he is a man with options, he may just move on to a woman who will actually go out with him. Keep us posted.

 

Thank you Lol!! No new brit dating thing..It just me.. I run a mile from pressure & texting makes me feel more comfortable,thats all really. And i like texting!lol

 

But if he's that popular that he moves on,well thats fine because the last thing i want or need is a player..

[lillie]

Is this the guy you mentioned on the weekend thread? (i.e. i got laid).

 

If so, too late to not rush things. LOL

 

Or is this a different guy?

 

Jaded really!!!LOL

 

No it was my fwb..I had stopped it but started it again lastnight. Then just before he came this new guy from last weekend called.

 

Ps,he said well you have my number now?? Like am i supposed to text him first? Im old fashioned,i like the men to text me. Is that bad?lol Anyway he hasnt text yet.

[JadedStar]

Thank you Lol!! No new brit dating thing..It just me.. I run a mile from pressure & texting makes me feel more comfortable,thats all really. And i like texting!lol

 

But if he's that popular that he moves on,well thats fine because the last thing i want or need is a player..

 

Served is right as usual...the saying let's text a while could potentially cause him to lose interest and not becuse he is a player but because it would seem weird to a guy if the girl liked him to not want to at least catch up for a drink or something.

 

YOu dont know each other well enough yet for him to like you enough to only want to text if he is looking for a person to go out on a date with.

 

I know it doesn't seem this way becuase you know what is goign on in your mind but a person who says "let's text awhile" is viewed as a huge redflag to most. If that were me i'd think either he isn't that interested in seeing me or he has a g/f and wants to play pal on text.

[lillie]

I dunno,maybe texting is more popular over here? All everyone seems to do is text!lol

But if he thinks what you mentioned above im not too bothered really. I mean yes it would be nice to have a drink & get to know him. To be honest i think i said lets text because i have so much on at the moment,im feeling wasted lately. But if he doesnt text,its not beyond me to phone him & say 'hey fancy a drink' I guess im just weighing up the pro's and con while i try to remember what he looked like!lol

I know he reminded me of Kiefer,that all..

[JadedStar]

Texting is very popular here too, but grossly overused. When first meeting someone you potentially might like to date keeping it on text (or email or IM) too long runs the risk of them losing interest and thinking you are not serious thus they wno't take it serious.

 

Texting is fine after you establish a connection, which you guys have not done yet.

 

I'd feel it was a redflag if i met someone in a club or bar whom i liked and they asked if we could keep it to text for awhile......i'd think they were hiding something or not very interested.

 

Most men are not looking for a new text partner. Most already have friends to text with if they enjoy texting.

[servedcold]

Ya, and besides, I'm selfish, I want "date scoop" not "text scoop" from darling Lillie!

 

Send him this text, "I'm going to be at such and such at sucha time, want to meet for a drink?"

 

Still very "meh" on the FWB. Use your sexual energy to build sparks with a proper candidate, don't waste it on something that can't progress... but small grats on getting laid too. I've been self-imposed celibate for three months now and it's starting to grate...

[lillie]

Lol well im not very interested!!haha I am a little bit but not much. But if we just text & get to know each other a little foa a week or too thats ok isnt it? I dont know to be honest,im confused..

Il see if he actually texts first then i might say im free one night this week if he would like to go for that drink And if he doest i might just text him..

[JadedStar]

Lol well im not very interested!!haha I am a little bit but not much. But if we just text & get to know each other a little foa a week or too thats ok isnt it? I dont know to be honest,im confused..

Il see if he actually texts first then i might say im free one night this week if he would like to go for that drink And if he doest i might just text him..

 

Texting a week is fine if that is ok with him. He might find it a red flag and move on to another potential dating candidate and if that happens he can't be blamed at all or called a player. This isn't much different than online dating. The goal is to meet and take it offline quickly not slowly to better build a connection and get to know the real person. Texting is even more limited than email and IM since they are usually supposed to only be for short to the point messages.

 

I would say if you have any interest at all ask him to meet up for a drink of if he suggests it accept. After you have gone out with him texting a bit is fine, but do understand that some people love texting, others hate it. YOu have to make sure you understand his style with this.

[lillie]

Ya, and besides, I'm selfish, I want "date scoop" not "text scoop" from darling Lillie!

 

Send him this text, "I'm going to be at such and such at sucha time, want to meet for a drink?"

 

Still very "meh" on the FWB. Use your sexual energy to build sparks with a proper candidate, don't waste it on something that can't progress... but small grats on getting laid too. I've been self-imposed celibate for three months now and it's starting to grate...

 

Hee hee oh this reply made my day!!lol Congrats!!haha

 

Well i did a 4 year stint at celibacy,and since iv started having a sex life im really enjoing it,more than ever before in my life & i thought it was damn good back then!!lol

 

But i will actually do that. When im next dressed up & in a nice pub i will text him just like you wrote,thats kind of my style anyway

[lillie]

Of course your absolutey right Jaded. I guess if he looked like Brad Pit i would gone straight in for the date!lol Jk

 

Yes i have carefully considered your advice & you & served are spot on. Im out of practice!

[JadedStar]

Hee hee oh this reply made my day!!lol Congrats!!haha

 

Well i did a 4 year stint at celibacy,and since iv started having a sex life im really enjoing it,more than ever before in my life & i thought it was damn good back then!!lol

 

But i will actually do that. When im next dressed up & in a nice pub i will text him just like you wrote,thats kind of my style anyway

 

Okay i am always devil's advocate.......i think that if you plan it in advance he'd be more appreciative and more likely to accept vs you already there and ask him to come by. Men are usually more spontaneous than women but i think most people regardless of gender like to plan things out a tad.

 

I dont think you would like it if he texted you while at a bar and asked you to come out unplanned would you? Maybe you would...i dunno, but most people would like to have time to clear their schedules ... he might already be busy and if he is a well rounded guy he wont be at home waiting for a text to go out for a drink LOL

 

Being back into the dating scene can be confusing, yes, but you'll get the hang of it in no time.

[lillie]

Okay i am always devil's advocate.......i think that if you plan it in advance he'd be more appreciative and more likely to accept vs you already there and ask him to come by. Men are usually more spontaneous than women but i think most people regardless of gender like to plan things out a tad.

 

I dont think you would like it if he texted you while at a bar and asked you to come out unplanned would you? Maybe you would...i dunno, but most people would like to have time to clear their schedules ... he might already be busy and if he is a well rounded guy he wont be at home waiting for a text to go out for a drink LOL

 

Being back into the dating scene can be confusing, yes, but you'll get the hang of it in no time.

 

Yes i would like it! I like spontaneity. And i like informal too. The whole arrranging,getting ready etc makes me very nervous. I would probably be drunk before we even met because of my nerves! No joke..But if i was already there i would feel casual & at ease with texting or phoning him to come & join me..

[JadedStar]

Yes i would like it! I like spontaneity. And i like informal too. The whole arrranging,getting ready etc makes me very nervous. I would probably be drunk before we even met because of my nerves! No joke..But if i was already there i would feel casual & at ease with texting or phoning him to come & join me..

 

EEK. Being drunk before he got there would be an even bigger redflag!

 

You have to see this thru the lens of the other person who doesn't know you. He sees 1) a girl who wanted to text vs meeting 2) finally does meet and does it unplanned drinking at a BAR and 3) already intoxicated when he arrives.

 

Hmm, if he is a decent guy he would be very turned off by these things. I'd be leary of a guy who wasn't turned off at least a little bit by that.

 

I know it if confusing for you becuase you know YOU and your intent. This man is still a stranger. Everything we do when we first meet someone sets a precedent and first impressions are long lasting even when they might not tell the entire story about a preson.

 

I'd never meet up with a guy i might like to date already drunk. Not even tipsy. I wouldn't want him to think i was a lush...and if he doesn't know you he could get that impression even if it isn't true.

 

If your goal is a casual fling with him all of the things you are doing is okay. If you think there is a chance you might like him enough to date seriously, these things might make you look less than stellar in his eyes. When i did online dating a few people i went out with spoke of some of their worst first dates and the woman being drunk ranks number one up there as an all time turn off.

[servedcold]

EEK. Being drunk before he got there would be an even bigger redflag!

 

Agreed 100%, ok getting tickets and jaded and I are coming to Leeds (or thereabouts) to chaperone! You don't mind wearing a wire and a mic in your ear do you?

[JadedStar]

Agreed 100%, ok getting tickets and jaded and I are coming to Leeds (or thereabouts) to chaperone! You don't mind wearing a wire and a mic in your ear do you?

 

HA HA...you talk thru the mic in her ear and i will be the casual observer hanging out in the bar giving her hand signals on what to do when he turns his head.

[lillie]

Jaded lighten up i wouldnt really turn up drunk!lol

[servedcold]

Thinking of a business plan here, "link removed." For only $100 an hour, dating "experts" (LOL) shadow you on your date and prepare a customized makeover plan covering all aspects of dating. For only $9.95 per minute, our "experts" will be available on our 900 number for personal consultations after your date. There's at least a movie script in here somewhere.

[lillie]

Agreed 100%, ok getting tickets and jaded and I are coming to Leeds (or thereabouts) to chaperone! You don't mind wearing a wire and a mic in your ear do you?

 

LOL no whatever turns you on served!!

 

Sorry about the delay in answering,im eating my tea & typing with one hand & had my friend on the phone in the other hand. I ran out of hands!

[lillie]

Agreed 100%, ok getting tickets and jaded and I are coming to Leeds (or thereabouts) to chaperone! You don't mind wearing a wire and a mic in your ear do you?

 

Haha whats that film with Richard Dreyfus & Emilio Estevez? You could be in the next room listening to my every word & move..And rolling on the floor laughing!!lol

[lillie]

HA HA...you talk thru the mic in her ear and i will be the casual observer hanging out in the bar giving her hand signals on what to do when he turns his head.

 

Hee hee!! I can see it now!

 

Well if i ever do meet him il tell him what a lucky escape he had in not meeting my friends from overseas!!

[servedcold]

LOL no whatever turns you on served!!

 

Don't know the film you are describing, but have to admit, the thought of a sexy, well turned out woman wearing a wire and ear mic DOES turn me on very much, is that wrong?

 

Hmm, in my movie, the dating experts would be played by a married couple, Vince Vaughn and Cate Blanchett, and the irony would be that they have a horrible marriage and constantly fighting despite making a living as dating experts.

 

The denoument would involve both of them falling for clients on a date, parting company amicably (though bittersweet) and living happily ever after.

 

Copyright 2008, servedcold...

[lillie]

Don't know the film you are describing, but have to admit, the thought of a sexy, well turned out woman wearing a wire and ear mic DOES turn me on very much, is that wrong?

 

Hmm, in my movie, the dating experts would be played by a married couple, Vince Vaughn and Cate Blanchett, and the irony would be that they have a horrible marriage and constantly fighting despite making a living as dating experts.

 

The denoument would involve both of them falling for clients on a date, parting company amicably (though bittersweet) and living happily ever after.

 

Copyright 2008, servedcold...

 

Can i buy the film rights?

 

Steakout was the film i meant,i just googled their names!lol

 

And your script reminds me of films like War Of The Roses starring Kathleen Turner & thingy Douglas (cant remember his first name??lol) And Mr & Mrs Smith starring Brangelina

 

But honestly,if we go on a date i will be a well turned out lady. I will behave very well indeed & show him what im made of. I wont sleep with him or anything. I wont even kiss him on the first date..Il show him how a real woman carries herself,not like the young totty up town!lol