Are others theire own worst enemy

[Corruptor]

Hi All,

 

This is my first post here.

 

I was looking for others thoughts on the following, and to see if i am alone in this situation.

 

I am an intelligent, decent looking person that seemingly hasd plenty of opportunities and things going for me.

 

However, i feel that a lot of the time, I am my own worst enemy. I basically corrupt anything good that comes into my life, or corrupt the opportunities that do present themselves.

 

This can be anything from finding a partner (or keeping one) to maintaining professionalism in my job, or at the very least taking such huge risks in my job, that i almost get a thrill out of not being fired for them.

 

It is almost as though I am afraid to succeed. Almost as though i enjoy the fact that i eventually destroy all the good things that come into my life.

That i take some sort of sick enjoyment in having to start things from scratch.

 

I am an impulsive person, but i also fear i must suffer from self loathing.

On the surface, you would think that i am a happy go, lucky sort of person that loves life, loves going out and simply embodies all that seems good.

 

Is there anyone else that does this, and if you used to how do you change yourself to stop this "weird" behaviour? How do you stop corrupting yourself everytime you start to get ahead? How do you let go of all the regrets that corruptors seem to have?

 

Ok sorry for the long post, but any insight or advice would be appreciate.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I think it is a matter of really being aware of the self-sabotage at the time that it is happening so that you can stop it in its tracks. In other words, be able to catch yourself in the act and thereforeeee modify the behaviour before there is complete follow through of the undesirable behaviour.

[Corruptor]

Thanks crazyaboutdogs, i understand what you are saying, and yes, to a small degree I am aware of what i am doing. However i find that i continue to do it. it might be as simple as knowing i have a project due at work, yet i will refuse to get it done. Or I may be in a relationship and take it completely for granted even though i know that htis person is good to me and right for me.

 

I simply seem to sabotage myself. Have you ever been like this?

[Crazyaboutdogs]

No, fortunately I have never been like this but I know people who are and it really messes up their life. They throw away good opportunities in love, in career and in life in general. Perhaps you need to go one step further and ask yourself why you self-sabotage even when you are fully aware of it at the time you are doing it. Much of self-sabotage has to do with self-esteem issues and not feeling that you are worth having anything good and positive in your life, so you sabotage the good things so it feeds and perpetuates your negative self-image. Almost like there is comfort in feeling like a failure. It is within your power to fix this and live a more positive, successful life.

[PrometheanCurse]

I feel the same, from my romantic life, to my family life, to my education.

 

It is almost like I am subconsciously afraid get hurt so I corrupt things so much that people then leave..which hurts me. Yup, I ultimately repelled the people I love. It's hard not to though. I have grown up all my life with people that fight all the time so whenever I DON'T fight it makes everything seem duller.

 

It's crazy because I feel like my real self is inside a lot of the times I am being angry with people or just doing things I know will hurt me, and she is just watching and letting things happen.