I HATE MY LIFE.. I HATE IT!

[LaeLai]

I know you are probably all sick of hearing my story. But I don't know what to do. I am seriously depressed and starting to have thoughts of dying.

My boyfriend of 3 years, which I lived with for the past year, broke up with me in December for no reason other than "he needs to be alone"..

I hear everything that everyone is telling me and I see that others are in the same exact situation but nothing makes me feel better. I love the man and I don't understand why he no longer wants to be with me... especially since he still says he loves me and may want to be with me again in the future.. IF YOU LOVE ME DAMMIT, YOU'LL BE WITH ME NOW!

I don't get it? I am a beautiful woman with a very successful career.. There are men who have practically begged for my attention.. so why doesn't he see what these other men see? why is he doing this to me? He is my life.. my everything.. and I love him so much.. I would do anything for him ..

I'm not asking for much.. I can take care of myself. All I want is a man to share my life with and have children with. YOu would think I was asking for a million dollars..

He says he's not interested in anyone else.. just that he's having personal problems that he needs to work out on his own. But that is so selfish of him! What about me? I am hurt, angry, upset.. and CONFUSED!

on top of all this, my best friend in the whole world just had a falling out with her boyfriend, so she really can't be here for me. I feel so alone. I go for days without eating and when I do eat, I throw most of it up. I take pills to sleep as often as I can just so I won't have to wallow in the depths of my sadness. I AM SO DEPRESSED.

sooooooooooooo saddddddddddddddd.........

and this isn't some little crush either.. I'm 30 years old.. I've been married before and been in many relationships. I know what I want and it's him... I've never loved anyone as much as I love this man and don't think I will ever feel this way with anyone else..

I am so hurt so angry and so confused

God help me!

[mermayd]

wow, I am really sorry to hear this. I want to ask you, have you told him your feelings?

Does he know how he has hurt you? Have you explained your confusion and anger to him?

If, not, I really suggest you do. Maybe he can give you more of an explination as to why he cannot involve you in his life right now. However, looking from his perspective, I know that at some time in a persson's life, they need to find themselves and they need to be alone, even if that is not what they want. I think you need to remain

calm about the situation and ask him what is going on in a calm and orderly manner. Tell him to upfront and honest with you no matter what so you can go on with your life with some understanding.

I think that he just needs time and it is unfortunate for you, but if you love him, and if he loves you the same, you will find your way back to eachother when he is ready to face his life. People often times have things going on in their head that they themself cannot figure out and having to deal with their own thoughts plus those of someone else, can be overwhelming. I do not think he is being dishonest in any form

when he tells you he loves you, you just need to consider and respect his space so when he figures things out, you can be together. I am sure that in time and after much patience, everything will be okay with you.

You will be happy together once again. I know it is confusing to you and hurtful to say the least, but I really think that he will return if you are understanding and compassionate.

[anewday]

why is life so complicated sometimes. You meet the one for you then they tell you it's over. I cant offer much advice because i am going through a shitty situation with someone that i love but they have finidhed with me, and i havent found an answer yet. I cant understand it either - i'm sure life would be so good if she could just see that what could be. I think you just have to take it a day at a time and hope that either you will work it out or that someone else will come along who is everything that you are looking for. It does you no good to keep going over it all and sure you will have times when you do but i think that if you try too hard then it makes it harder. Just get on with your life and if it's meant to to be it will happen. Act on instinct if you can but dont let it all get on top of you.

[ms anthrope]

im in your exact same situation. the best thing i can tell you is this is going to be the hardest part for you. the waiting. because in the waiting period....you dont know if he is coming back...you dont know why he is doing this...you dont know what is going on in his mind....you feel abandoned since he isnt thinking of you....you want to die at the thought of him not coming back...you get mad at him off and on throughout the day...but then you go back to missing him too....you dont understand why he has to do this to you when you love him so much and you dont ask much from him...you'd be more than willing to help him through his problems.

 

i know...im still in that exact same situation. it hurts and it feels like desperation on and off throughout the day.

 

sooooo im going to tell you what ive had to do. i found out more than ever that he's the one despite his flaws. and the hardest thing ive had to do is the ultimate sacrifice. i have to let him go. i have to trust the process that if he truly does love me and wants to be with me in the future...he will come back to me when he's better. but you cant have a relationship with him if he's going through problems of his own. i know you say it's selfish of him to do this to you if he truly loves you...and the most i can tell you is that if he is doing this to you it's because it's a last resort. he has no choice but to do this. and the only way your relationship will be salvaged is if he fixes himself first...realizes it was you all along...and comes back to you. you cant force it. you CAN get on with your life and be as healthy mentally as you can be because that is something he will want to go back to. YOU CAN work on you for awhile...go out with your friends, go shopping, get a hobby. if you believe you two were meant to be and he ends up realizing it...he will come back.

 

but try not to think of him as selfish. if he loves you then i can assure you he misses you...he's miserable...he worries still...he's disappointed in himself...he's trying to get better. he isnt being selfish...he's trying to save himself. he cant love anyone if he cant love himself first...he wont feel worthy of your love till he realizes he is.

 

ms