somegirlsomewhere Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 With another girl... Last weekend I had the unfortunate experience of seeing my ex driving with another girl (quick back story - he dumped me 3 1/2 months ago after almost six years - we were living together, unofficially engaged, etc..). Of course I immediately went to pieces after seeing this (he didn't see me).. then a couple of days later he was seen with a girl (of the same description) by a friend of mine. Once again, it tore me up (yes, I go out of my way to avoid him!). So tonight that same friend told me she saw the aforementioned girl at his place of employment (where she also works! imagine that!) and I got the unfortunate experience of learning her name, too. Great. It's not like I expect him to mail me a monthly newsletter about his life... but I feel almost humiliated. I have so dreaded this very event ever since the breakup. We spoke last week (shared financial obligations) after I saw him with her and he didn't mention it (but I didn't ask, either). I feel really angry, sad, bitter, depressed, and everything else. Now I wonder if the big holes in his breakup speech (or lack thereof, I should say) have anything to do with her, since they have obviously known each other for a while. Ouch... So, she must be the new girlfriend I assume. This girl is almost three years younger than me (and him too for that matter). Other than that (besides her stupid name) I don't know anything at all about her, and really don't care to. It was kind of interesting, but the first day that I saw this, I went for a really nice walk/jog through the woods and finished feeling so strong about my life and everything happening. But then, a few hours later, I saw him with her and felt like I was falling apart again. I've been doing my best to mentally prepare for this but it's still really, really hard. But I just keep telling myself I have to continue what I've been doing, even when I feel like I can't go on... getting up every day, living my life, remembering the good things, staying busy. For the most part I feel like I'm on that road to healing... but damn it looks long and scary... Also - I forgot to add that this same friend also just recently mustered up the courage to tell me they'd been seen together a couple of months ago... so if they are dating he probably started seeing her within 6 or 7 weeks of our breakup (if not before.. ugh). Buuuut I guess there's really no point in wondering too much about it now though... *deep breath!* So, I guess this turned out to be a rant more than anything, but I also have a couple of questions for those of you who have been here (or known someone who has!)... Do you think she's a rebound? And, if you've been in my shoes, do you think that seeing or hearing about the new relationship helped you heal or did it slow things down for a while? This is my first heartbreak and I just feel a little lost and confused (pretty much all the time, lol)... but thank goodness for ENA... Link to comment
sparrow Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 It's possible that she's a rebound. I mean, 3 1/2 months is long enough for some people to start dating again, but I would truly doubt, that after an almost 6 year relationship, that this is gonna last. He's still got plenty of fresh baggage and issues left over, depending on the reasons why you two broke up, and because, well, he's gonna end up comparing her to you, inevitably. It can actually work in your favor, but I don't know what your relationship is like now... My ex (4 year relationship, ended 2 months ago) started seeing other women a mere WEEK after we broke it off. A week. And these girls were a good 10 years younger than myself (I am 33, he's almost 30) and I would see him with her/them EVERYWHERE because we live right down the street from one another. I gotta tell you, it RIPPED me apart, but in a way, it helped me steel up faster and get stronger because I realized what he was doing was ridiculous and bound to fail and make him miserable. That he was trying to bury the pain in the lowest way possible, and dragging people with him. Now, he is messaging me about how miserable he is. Duh.... In any case, I don't think this relationship with this other girl you've seen your ex with will last... they could be just friends, or flirtations, or perhaps something else, but regardless, I DOUBT very highly it will last. Link to comment
somegirlsomewhere Posted May 21, 2008 Author Share Posted May 21, 2008 Sparrow - that's awful about having to see your ex with someone else so soon after the breakup! It's inspirational to hear that it helped you in a way too though, even though it's definitely excruciatingly painful at the same time Link to comment
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