What do you do about the void?

[whichwayisup]

Like everyone else on here, I've been through my ups and downs.

 

After a good day or two, I suddenly woke up today feeling completely void of anything.

I can't really explain it, other than it's like a numbess or an emptiness.

I'm indifferent to everything.

 

Normally, I'm a caring and compassionate person to all of my family and loved ones. I work with kids every day, so I'm used to being patient, loving and giving.

 

But today I was just going through the motions with no feeling at all.

It was odd.

 

I came home and curled up in the fetal position.

It's like there's no escape.

 

It's been three weeks NC today, so maybe that's why.

Maybe it's just part of me accepting that, YES, it really is over.

 

Who knows...

I was just wondering if others have felt this also at some point during the process.

How often did/do you find this happening?

I actually thought I was doing well until today.

[lifeiscash]

I have days like that as well. I do in part think it has to do with accepting what all has happened and knowing that it is truly over. The brighter side is knowing that these days will happen but they pass and there will be fewer in time. Just remember when one door closes other doors upon up to limitless possibilities.

[PixelPusher]

Yes, it's completely normal. Although far from a "professional" opinion, I eventually came to the conclusion that that numbness is simply your brain overloaded from emotion. With the pain and trauma of a breakup, especially when infidelity was involved and trust was completely shattered, it's just devastating. I think your brain (and heart) can only take so much sadness, then anger, then remorse, then sadness, etc, etc, before it just shuts down for a while.

 

I wouldn't worry too much about it, unless you're finding yourself just staring at at wall for days on end. I'd keep at trying to do things YOU like to do and your emotions will kick back up when they're ready.

 

Remember, the road to healing is never a straight line. Some days we feel great, only to be slammed down by anger or remorse once again. Just keep plugging away at it... chip away toward the person you want to be, and you'll get there.

[hamsalad]

Been there...and still am. Each moment FORWARD adds to the healing. The brain has difficulty perceiving the passage of time in high-stress situations. Keep getting up. You will be knocked down. Keep getting up. After awhile you will see you are standing more than lying down.

[whichwayisup]

Thanks so much for your words of encouragement.

 

I've been through terrible heartache in my life once before, and I never thought I'd see the light of day.

A year later, I was finally back on track.

 

In my situation, infidelity was also a factor, so my trust is gone for the time being.

But I do realize this road is going to be full of ups and downs.

 

It really helps to get on here and realize I'm not alone.

[hamsalad]

Hope it helps. Less sad people. More happy!

 

Like you said, you've been there before and you made it through.

[Sadman84]

I hate the void feeling! Heres what I did in my beginning stages of NC.

 

I sat down and said "well i'm single now, what can i do to make myself a better catch for the next girl" In your case guy. I made my life into a game, i wanted to quit wasting time on video games, quit smoking (never happened haha), start playing an instrument, get in better shape, get some sort of tan... ect

 

Most of those things happened, i lost a crap ton of weight, met a ton of people along the way, and i'm a much better person than I was when i got dumped! So set some goals and make your days about reaching those goals, and just keep thinking about months down the road and how these goals will pay off. I also dove deep into my job at the time making it my side project. Hope this helps!

[shygirl1212]

HeY OP,

 

Like many have told me, and as I have experienced myself, sometimes it feels like 2 steps forward and 1 step back - it's hard but what you are feeling is totally normal.

 

Keep posting, let us know how you are...you aren't alone, and we have all been in the place you are right now.

 

I changed my greeting on my cell phone to say: Keep moving, Be Strong, Be Happy (now if only I could actually do that!)

[whichwayisup]

Those are some great suggestions.

 

I have started exercising and eating better, and that has been a good starting point because physically I'm feeling stronger.

 

But I want to use this breakup as a springboard to become a better person, fulfill some goals, etc. As difficult as it is, I try to look at it as some sort of blessing in disguise or a chance to find greater things in life.

 

I sound a little too optimistic for my own good...considering a few hours ago I was in bed in the fetal postion. LOL.

 

It is odd how these feelings come and go, but I am hopeful.

Thanks.

[Sadman84]

Oh yah i also did stuff i used to never wanna do, and tried new things out, thats fun, it makes you a more out going person you know, new foods, small stuff big stuff, went skiiing, i sucked but HEY i did it