hope will die last, but then there is still faith...

[dollface33]

Short version, it didn't work out between us and he moved on. cry and accept it. lol.

Longer version....we have never met. how can I forget something that I don't know? about 16 months have we been in cyber relationship. about 3 -4 months ago he started to date other woman. I found out about few weeks ago, when he decided not to come here, not to visit me cause he said he is not ready to commit, maybe will never be, it's me not u bullshit and he's fear and issues from the past was reasons for hes desicion. little later other woman came in the picture. Cause he want.s to be single and have fun, he said. too much trouble and bad communication and our distance has caused it. Ok, u have your fun I thought, there is no button I can turn off my feelings.....I'm here and love you. He wanted to stay friends. suddenly. I got confused, if he just will date for fun, why I'm only friend now? Still don't get it. he said, cause I made it clear once, I will never the man I love with anyone. And he can't give all, so we are friends. But I'm still woman. Love him like one. it's very hard to hide all emotions suddenly, step back and be buddy-buddy.

now, I must say I really don't get him. He left me, our relationship, but he says he didn't. he just act like he did. he said that maybe we will be one someday, no one knows the future, and he keeps sending me cards and our webcams are on for eachother still, exept that time he plays home with her. I know he cares about me a lot, he has sent me money all this time and still does, he want's to help me as he can and be there for me, he is still emotianally involved with me. My mind is telling me, he want's to help me get over this, by not cutting off everything overnight. He is nice and kind and doesn't wan't to hurt me more than he already did. But I feel like part of him is still with me, and as long he is I can't let go either. I would feel more calm by knowing there is thruth behind hes words, that he just want's to live single life and have fun. But it seems like she lives there now every weekend, shows me that he is interested to get know her more and more. so seems not to be just "dating others" in this case. I don't get men. he sent me card with love and kisses, before she came to he's place, after she is gone he opens my cam and say's hi hun, I'm home. lol. "lets just be nice and maybe someday we will meet and maybe not".....he doesn't wan't to be with me anymore, but he didn't leave me.lol. Am I nuts? Absolutely. I always had so much faith, believed in us all this time. He tried, but wasn't happy. So how can he believe now that maybe one day....I love that man. I'm angry cause we didn't get a chance in real life. I didn't. he choosed to not find out who I was, and I can't change anything. But if desicion is already made, why still be here with me one foot in.....well, not even that I guess, but still so it feels. why? be grateful what u get and enjoy or make your desicion. ...But why give at all? He is also CP. I know they have hard to end something completely. I wan't to believe he's words and learn to trust him. he said we need to take it slow, learn to communicate, be friends, he needs to learn to respect me.....just lets see what future brings. I love him and I'm full of hope. Don't coun't on anything he said. ...I'm crushed. I'm scared that time will run out, I'm left to watch if it works out between them or not, or actually I choosed to stay, but I wan't to be part and fight. fight for us. I just don't know where am I....where is he...is he gone totally and just being nice? it just hurts so much. And I can't go away, until we like eachother and keep talking, there may be little hope......and in mean time he prefer her and if they get real close we were not meant to be.

it's monday morning and he put he's cam on. she was there tonight also, usually she goes sunday evenings, he called my cam and said he missed me. So, please, am I nuts? I wan't to believe him, but I laugh .....He went back to bed now, cause tired. lol. it's monday morning 8 am. there is ocean between us, I don't know if I ever see him in real life, he left me cause of other woman, but my faith is so strong.......I love him and always will.

[neva_black_n_white]

hey.

im glad that your friendship has grown so strong to start a relationship, even though it had decided to take a break im guessing that it was more on his grounds that yours as you seem to be longing for him. even though as you said a sea separates you he will remain in your heart as from what youve desrbed short and long he made an impact that could last a lifetime. you are the pinicle truth that love happens over the internet and like you said you need to hold on you need to have faith and you need to fight for one another. without this what would you gain? nothing you would just loose everything that you could have.

 

it may be that its far from you getting together or it may that through not trying something so close could never be. i give you credit for trying after so much of a heartbreak your going through.

 

the one thing i have to say is that, yes your right, he wanted to see other women, and maybe he didnt go out with an intent to get into a longing and loving relationship but people dont have a choice of who they fall for. it cant be helped. im guessing that he had longed to be with you and with this relationship so strong and the both of you checking on each other, sentimental things as cards, but you need to realise that he obviously does care but we cant control our emotions when they jump up and approach us when not expecting it. he may fall for someone else, but youve made an impact.

 

fight for you love but dont die for it. to love one is an amazing thought that we could get it right in one shot, but waiting too long could loose that perfect person that was initially meant for you.

 

he seems like an amzing guy, could you not talk to him about how you feel instead of watch this love fade away? or his?

 

i wish you good luck in your choices, hopes, faith and love.

feel free to talk to me or PM me if youd like

kel