It's been awhile and I still want her back....advice wanted

[robertsjr1]

This is my first post, but me and my girl broke up it will be a year before too long, but tomorrow should be our 1 year anniversary. I'll try to make this as brief as possible, I hope somebody takes a few to read it. She's the first girl I've ever loved and I can't really explain the way I feel bout her. We broke up over stupid stuff, jealousy, I was dumb about some pretty meaningless things, but they ended up causing her to want out. I begged and I pleaded, we didn't talk in person, on the internet mostly, but she started talking to this other guy like 3 months after we broke up. That ended, we went to a bball game on a casual date and both had a great time. It didn't lead to anything and 2 months later she had a new b/f. That killed me and made me feel worse than anything ever has. He was an idiot and treated her very bad, so I figured the time was right to tell her that I wanted her back and everything we had, that she should dump him, she didn't, we got into it, I told her it's now or never, me or him, we had a really bad fight, I got everything good after that and we didn't talk the rest of the summer, for 3 months. What made that so bad, is up to this, we had both still had feelings for each other, but for the exception of a few times, had really had some pretty bad arguments and by far more bad times than good. I didn't cope with our breakup well either, I coped in all the wrong ways. I'm in college and she's still in HS too, I'm 19, she's 16. Anyway, when we started talking again when school started, everything was good. She had a cheerleading competition in the town that my college is in about a month ago, she asked me to go, I did, I took her a bear and a dozen roses. Her squad lost, so I was her cryin shoulder that day. She called me the next day. Everything was going really good, we didn't talk for a few days, I seen her that Friday at a football game and asked her out, she said she had other plans with 1 of her friends, but if they couldn't make it, then she would. That next week she had her wisdom teeth cut out. I came in from school and showed up at her house that evening with a card and a get well bear. We sat and talked and had fun, just like everything was like it used to be. I went out of town the next morning for a week. I got back on Thanksgiving, and she had stuff on her screename on MSNM about the guy she started talkin to 3 months after we broke up. I knew they had talked a few times since school had started and had went out a few times, but her and alot more girls, he's 16 too, but he's played her like a drum, but on Thanksgiving I asked her what was going on, she said that she doesn't know what it is, but she really likes him and for right now, she can't get over it. She told me she wished things were different with me and her, that I have been there for her and I care for her more than she could ever ask anybody to. I didn't know what to do, but had a very hurt feeling. I've gotten mad and blew up a few times along the way, but I bit my tongue on that. I told her that I didn't really get how she could like some1 like him, with some1 like me who has always respected her and treated her like a queen wanting a second chance. We haven't talked much since then, but about a week after that, I instant messaged her because I knew her grandma was sick, she responded by saying that her grandma was ok, and that she was done with that dude, the he played her again, but I seen real quick that she's still crazy about him. I've made more than my share of mistakes since we broke up. Acted very irrational several times, and I feel like I caused our breakup too, I think its about 70-30 my fault. Anyway, I haven't totally stopped living my life, I've chilled with alot girls since then at parties and things and went out with a few different girls, but nothing major, and I don't want anything more with anybody other than her, she knows that too. She knows I'm crazy about her and that I want her back. I'd give anything to have her back and what we had this time last year, I don't know what to do or where to go from here. I would really appreciate people's outlooks and ideas on my situation. Thanks a million to whomever takes the time to read this.

[Cid]

First welcome to enotalone frome everyone. Well it looks like you are in a pickle. She might have feelings for you but it is hard to say. The one thing that is makeing this hard is that she knows that you will wate for her. Now that is not a bad thing but sounds like she is useing you. I think that you should try not to call her or write her for 2-3 months and see where that leaves you. But keep going out with outher people you might find someone that you would like to date more then her. I hope that this helps.