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Physical relationship only?


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I need to vent.


So, there's a girl I'm trying to make things work with. Smart, and as beautiful as I've ever met. We've been friends a long time, and tried a relationship. We still are. Rocky past month, with a break up or two thrown in.


Anyways, I've got a Biology Midterm Examination tomorrow. So I'm studying with occasional breaks.


I've talked to her today earlier that I'll be busting my ass to make things work with us. She was a little speechless about it, so I was a tad confused. [i had a revelation of sorts yesterday, so I want to try our relations again, for better or worse.]


She sent me a text just now asking me what I'm up to, and I told her about the exam. Gave her some suggestions to relieve her boredom.


Know what she comes at me with?


"There's only one thing I want to do right now, and he's busy."


Now, how can I not completely love someone like that, right?


Problem is, she's been getting so physical lately though. We don't talk about anything deeper, and I'd give up my whole company to simply be able to have conversations with her like I used to. I can't say she pushes for sex, but whenever we see each other, we end up doing something, etc. But the emotional attachment is disappearing.


What does she want? We talked about the relationship, and we're taking it slow. I asked her a week ago about where we stand, and she kind of let it slip that she wants to "just let it happen". I'm going to be nudging that happening along as much as I can, of course.


Is it a little too late for a real relationship? I just find it weird that we're totally sexually comfortable, like, to no ends with examples I wont describe, yet, we're not emotionally together still.


I'm so confused... And come on, I've got to put up with this until I go to sleep. Of course, there's nothing better than knowing someone is totally frisky for you right now when studying Biochemistry and Hormones, right?


God, this is messed up.

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Dude, it sounds to me like my last realtionship that ended up with us going our separate ways. She doesn't sound like she can commit to a relationship with you, so is happy just to bide her time, have a bit of fun until something that better suits comes along. You sound like me. nudge the realtionship along, at least in that way one of you is trying to make the relationship work.


ut guess what? She isn't trying to make the relationship work and your pushing could have the opposite effect of keeping her distant. I put pressure on my ex and she got further away.


It sounds to me like the reslationship is not going to become a good one, you'll be constantly wondering and putting all your effort in in hope that she will eventually reciprocate, but my thoughts are that she wont.


You need to be careful and not lose yourself to it like I did with mine and while I still want to be with her, I am trying my best to get over her and move on.


There are plenty of fish in the sea, dude, and some of them aren't poisonous. Keep looking and we'll both find the girl that wants to make something of a relationship with us.

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Thank you for that!


I want to add now, since I've got you on the tube.


Last time, she broke up with me, and I was a little devastated. She came back 2 months later telling me that she's made a huge mistake, etc, she doesn't expect me to take her back though.


That was a month ago, and now I'm willing to give it a go. I don't think I'm treating this seriously anymore though. I was telling my buddy yesterday, walking home, "Yea, I think it's her turn to break up today. It's casual now. 'We have to end this' is like 'I had chicken for dinner last night' these days."

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This I appreciate as well.


Few quick references though. If she wants to "use" me for sex for the next month or so until summer hits and I go on my cali roadtrip, I say, let her be my guest


As for meeting other girls, I had 18 dates in the 2 months we were broken up. Each of them were boring, stupid, or a good combination of both.


And she does want to spend time, it's sadly me who can't afford the time these days.


I don't know, I'll see how it goes tomorrow. I'm in no rush.

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Are you a booty call?


Removed as asked by original poster


The term "booty call" isn't applicable to most guys, I don't think


I mean sure, I like a real relationship, but in the end, I'm fine with 2PM in a Park as much as 11PM at my place. Not exactly a "booty call" mindset.

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We actually got along like we used to today. And I didnt phrase myself right, i wont be pushing anyone, but i shall be making every possible sweet gesture i can, etc, to hurry her ass up along.

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I'm never one to give up. And when I've got emotional stuff to deal with, I hit the gym and let it all drain into the weights.


So.. the result of 7 months relations can be seen over there. And so can the level of crap she put me through.

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you associate sex with mental. that's why this is so odd to you. sex is a physical act. sure it can be better when you share it with someone you are completely infatuated/in love/committed to. but you have to stop associating it with someone being attached to you.

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you associate sex with mental. that's why this is so odd to you. sex is a physical act. sure it can be better when you share it with someone you are completely infatuated/in love/committed to. but you have to stop associating it with someone being attached to you.


I don't generally associate it, or well, didn't generally associate it with anything but physical in the past with other girls, but I've got a longer history with her, and we did have the emotional connection. It just got.. lost.


Ah well, thank you for the help. I'll figure it out. In the end, every time we break up, I come out of it smelling like a rose.

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the girl likes the image of herself as a sex kitten...and she likely thnks that in "acting like one of te guys' - that is all about sex and little else, she'll get the results of the guys - which she probably interprets as "they've got all the power in a relationship".

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