Today was the last goodbye....

[Pharm11]

He called me. I never thought he would, after I ignored his call on saturday. He asked if I was home and said he wanted to drop of my book. I said ok. I paniced, I asked my roomie what i should do. She said its up to you, that if I can hold on and be strong and not invite him in. I was like I can, and I teared up. I combed my hair, put on a cute shirt and earrings.

 

He knocked, said he was done for the semester and said you have a final tomorrow. He gave me my book, he stepped in himself, i stood there infront of the door. I didnt know what was holding me to stand right infront of the door and not move, may be it was my roommate in the kitchen giving me the strength or god. But he said he is going tomorrow, and my roommate is like dallas and he was like yea. And he reached in to give me a hug, since my book was in my other hand it was more like a half hug, and i saw in his eyes it looked as if he wanted to kiss me or something.....but i think since my roomie was there he couldnt, but god works in his own ways i guess, may be her being behind me gave me the strength not to break.

 

Then he left, as i closed the door slowly i saw that he had turned around and peared in to take a last look at me. And we both had eye contact until i shut the door. I closed the door and I ran to my room and cried!!!! It hurt so so so so bad, it still does telling you guys this.

 

I think atleast this past week I showed him I am not a silly love sick, dependant girl. In a year I will be in dallas, and then if its meant to be and if its gods will we will once again be re-united.

 

Until then, I really need to forget about me. I hope that i left a good strong impression on him. I was always that weak girl when I was with him, but I think I am showing him otherwise. I do feel good about myself!! And its all up to god now. Since the break up I have been praying more, going to church during the week. I feel good about myself. I just hope that whatever god is trying to teach me will make me happy.

 

If with time we may get back together. But its hard to take it in, but we may never be either. As long as I have god with me, I have to realize that he will be there no matter what.

 

Wow today was such a sad and happy day for me. I just hope tonite when I am studying for this last final I dont think of him : (. Thanks guys for all your help and advice. But if I peak in tonight for your help help me : ).

[SnoopyLove]

Awh man that is so sad... But in a good way.

 

Well done you for being strong, I don't think I could ever have the courage to ever do that, but yay!!!

 

Congrats.

 

And good luck for your exam!!!

[riley123]

I agree, very sad. I read you’re other posts about why you guys broke up. I get the sense from this post that he regrets it, but doesn’t know how to communicate it.

 

But I think you’ve did the right thing by staying strong.

[Pharm11]

Thank you so much. Really you think I did the right thing? I guess so, you know showing. that you left me, but I am still standing strong and is able to close the door on you.

 

I do hope he regrets it a little, not to be mean. But I am going to leave him alone, and if he wants to contact me ... during the summer then I will know he still thinks of me and there may be a grain of chance. We will.... c... i will keep you guys updated.

 

Thanks so much guys.

[riley123]

Of course you did the right thing! The easiest thing to do when someone breakups with you is to turn into a pathetic, graveling, mess of person in their presense. By staying strong, you showed him that you’re ok – with or without him – and guys very are attracted to that.

 

Do what you said, take time and leave him a lone. If space and time bring you both back together, then great! If not, don’t worry about it because he was not the one for you and you’ll have moved on.

 

Take care.

[Pharm11]

Thank you guys...and snoopy.. i passed the exam. My semester is done, and I passed everything, with the help of Gods grace my broken heart didnt mess with my grades. I wish i could, show him, lol. But i know God has a way of showing my strength to him someway .. : ).