Confused

[xMorningStarx]

My girlfriend of 14 months split with me on Saturday evening, through a text message saying that she just wasn't happy anymore. I was angry and devastated, but over the last few days I've realised I can do better and I should just move on. We've spoke a small amount through email, discussing a trip to Berlin that we were planning and potential trading of things.

 

Anyway, fast forward to today. I was meeting with my friend in town, going shopping and having a few drinks. Walking down the road, I saw my ex. I didn't know what to do so I smiled, she smiled back and we walked on. Then after for the first time, she called me and spoke to me one on one, asking if she wanted to meet for a coffee on Monday to say goodbye, but said she only would meet me if it wasn't giving me false hope and stuff. I agreed, because I know I can build myself up to this, be strong and walk away with my head held high.

 

Now here's the problem, I can handle seeing her this once to trade our things, say goodbye etc. but whenever I bump into her, I feel so weak. I know she's wrong for me, but I end up hating myself for not making her happy. I was tossing and turning in bed tonight, which led me on here, because I was thinking about all the great times we had.

 

I don't know what I'm feeling. I know there's no future between us anymore, and I know I can do so much better than what she's done to me. But I kind of feel empty without her around. I miss her company, not the relationship. I don't know what to do.

 

I can't avoid her either, because she works right next door to me! We both work in retail so her shop shuts when mine does, meaning I'll see her most days. I hate it, because it'll be unexpected and then I'll yearn for her. I know Monday I'll be strong because I'll prepare for it but all the other days will be hell. I think after might be easier, because we had the chance to say goodbye.

 

She is flawed, and caused most problems in our relationship, she even admits this. I wasn't perfect but I put up with alot. But I'm the one suffering here. I don't know what I'm feeling either. If I hated her, it would be easy. If I was still madly in love with her, I'd know what to do.

 

Why can someone so wrong for me, affect me so much to the point I can't sleep at night?

[HighHat]

As you say you are missing her company, you've got accustomed to having her around and enjoyed the companionship. Whenever we someone goes away in our life we are bound to miss them, even if they weren't good for us, but we miss them all the same because they were part of our life.

 

It sounds like you do want to move on from her and recognized that the relationship wasn't good for you. It will be difficult working in such close proximity, is there a chance you could find a job elsewhere? I know that sounds a bit drastic, but it might be worth thinking about.

[servedcold]

Last Saturday is not long at all. Totally natural to feel this way. Remember, she's been planning this for some time and has a head start on you, so don't feel bad about being a little weak to her.

 

Man, if I were you, I'd get all her stuff together in a box and just leave it for her at her work no notes and wait for her to do the same. Here's why.

 

1. She broke up with you via text when you WORK NEXT TO EACH OTHER? screw her...

 

next thing, did she ask you for coffee or you ask her? If she asked you, then

 

2. Her comment about only meeting if it wouldn't give you false hope is ridiculous and condescending. screw her...

 

Don't meet this woman again ever for any purpose. If she doesn't reciprocate with your stuff after you drop hers off at her work, leave her a message on a 2x2 sticky saying "Hey, I need my stuff back please." nothing more. Ignore her existence unless you pass on the street and then just nod, not talk. Don't call her email nothing, pure NC.

 

Ironically, the above is the best way to get her back interested in you, but believe me you don't want this one back...

[redhearts]

Because you need closure.

[Landon]

if you cant sleep at night i recommend taking a sleeping pill, thats what i do..

[xMorningStarx]

I'm hoping to get a transfer from work to another store in another city, so that'll sort that problem out.

 

I don't know what's going to happen Monday, but after that I'm totally done. I told her I needed a goodbye and she invited me to coffee, but I do believe she was sincere and not patronising when she said she didn't want to give me false hope.

 

However, I don't know why, but I've got the feeling that she's met someone else, and that's the reason she split with me. I'm resisting the urge to talk to her now and ask her, but I don't know how I'll know for sure. Should I ask on Monday?

[Landon]

I wouldnt ask at all, its just going to make things a hella of a lot worse then they already are. Just let it be and keep you little goodbye short and simple, after you almost done with you coffee tell her you have things to do and just split.

[servedcold]

I wouldn't ask, if she is the type to break up via text, she will likely bring it up just to rub your nose in it. The shorter any meeting you have with her going forward, the less information about her you find out, the better for your getting back on track.

[Johnathan]

Man, there are alot of people here having to deal with working in proximity to someone they split up with. Makes me sort of glad I'm not the only one having to deal with this BS!

[pumpkinmoon]

i agree with served cold too, dont bother seeing her, and sleeping pills are my best friends atm lol