freedomwritten Posted May 7, 2008 Share Posted May 7, 2008 I've been in a dilemma lately. This girl and I have been going out for about 3 months. When we first started talking, I wasn't all that interested in her, but our relationship has grown into something beautiful. She's crazy about me. A few weeks ago, this girl I've always had a thing for starts talking to me and tells me that she likes me. We've been chatting online and stuff [i don't want to raise suspicions by talking at school.] At first I just thought, well that doesn't matter, but now I'm not able to act the same around my girlfriend because every time I'm around her, I think of the other girl. Now I realize I have real feelings for that girl, but I still really care about my girlfriend. What's been on my mind is, while I do care more about my girlfriend [i don't like to say I'm in love being that I'm 16, it just sounds naive] our relationship has had time to grow. When we had only been talking for a few weeks I was way less interested in her than I am in that other girl right now. That has me thinking a relationship with the other girl could be better than the one I have now. The other night ago, me and my girlfriend were on the phone and she sensed something was wrong. Finally she choked it out of me into telling her I was having feelings for someone else and I was afraid I was going to hurt her much more if I let this relationship drag on. I didn't fully break up with her, I just left it in a gray area; leaving me in control of the outcome. Unfortunately, lately I've been feeling remorse. I feel like I may have been in love with my girlfriend and I've done the wrong thing. On the other hand this could just be part of the process [thats why I put this topic in this forum, I feel as if our relationship is basically over]. Should I risk it and get with the girl my heart has been thumping over for a while now, or try to forget about the whole thing and stick with the okay relationship I have now? Link to comment
eurocar Posted May 7, 2008 Share Posted May 7, 2008 Life, especially high school, is too short to be with someone you're not crazy about. Break up with your current girlfriend, but I'd only do that if you confirm that other girl is interested in you, too. You wouldn't want to dump your girlfriend only to find that the other girl doesn't feel the same way about you. Link to comment
lady00 Posted May 7, 2008 Share Posted May 7, 2008 Come on. You know the answer to this! I mean...girl that you have chemistry with vs. girl you probably should have never gotten into a relationship with because you weren't that into her to start with. Link to comment
freedomwritten Posted May 7, 2008 Author Share Posted May 7, 2008 I think you're right. haha ya, i know the other girl is interested. Actually she's well aware of the whole situation. She hasn't pushed me into breaking up with my gf, either. I think i should take this part of my life to not settle. thanks guys. Link to comment
lady00 Posted May 7, 2008 Share Posted May 7, 2008 You wouldn't want to dump your girlfriend only to find that the other girl doesn't feel the same way about you. Totally disagree. If you're not into the current girl, it makes no difference who is and who is not interested in you. Dump her anyway. It's totally unfair to her. Link to comment
eurocar Posted May 7, 2008 Share Posted May 7, 2008 Totally disagree. If you're not into the current girl, it makes no difference who is and who is not interested in you. Dump her anyway. It's totally unfair to her. He said in his post that he still cares about his current girlfriend a great deal. I'm not entirely sure how to take that. If he's generally happy with her but is pursuing a grass-is-greener philosophy, that's different than being unhappy and wanting out. Link to comment
freedomwritten Posted May 7, 2008 Author Share Posted May 7, 2008 He said in his post that he still cares about his current girlfriend a great deal. I'm not entirely sure how to take that. If he's generally happy with her but is pursuing a grass-is-greener philosophy, that's different than being unhappy and wanting out. He's right. I'm debating on taking a risk. What if I take this other girl and realize what I had before is something I can't pray to have back? On the other hand, this other relationship could blow this one out of the water. Link to comment
eurocar Posted May 7, 2008 Share Posted May 7, 2008 He's right. I'm debating on taking a risk. What if I take this other girl and realize what I had before is something I can't pray to have back? On the other hand, this other relationship could blow this one out of the water. I'd take the plunge. You only live once, and high school is meant for these kinds of "risks!" I quote the word because it really is not a huge risk, after all; were you really hoping to be together with your current girlfriend for life? In addition, there is always the possibility of getting back with your current girlfriend if you find that the new one doesn't live up to the self-indoctrinated hype. If anything, she might take it as a compliment and reaffirmation of your devotion (however temporary and a product of mere convenience) to her. Link to comment
lady00 Posted May 7, 2008 Share Posted May 7, 2008 He's right. I'm debating on taking a risk. What if I take this other girl and realize what I had before is something I can't pray to have back? On the other hand, this other relationship could blow this one out of the water. I truly believe that if you're really into someone, there wouldn't be these doubts in your mind...which is why I think you should go for the other girl. Link to comment
freedomwritten Posted May 7, 2008 Author Share Posted May 7, 2008 Well, its over. We broke up and she understands. Although I told her I'm open to her in the future. It works out though, she is way less upset if I were to let this drag on another 6 months. Link to comment
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