Knock Knock Knocking on ex's door..

[yo]

I had an online r/ship for 2 months and a one night stand with an ex. Then she put me on NC. I did NC too for a while and then got into LC. Infact, still struggling with LC. As long as I keep the mails and calls platonic, I get a response. Everytime, I start saying things like I have feelings for her, she goes into NC and it's been in this state for nearly 2 months now.

 

Next week I will be in the same city as the ex. I am sooo tempted to just drop into her house. I am scared to call her coz 1) she might not pick up 2) Put off by saying she's busy and ask me not to come

 

So, the only option that I have is to just drop in. I don't care about the consequences. I won't be flying cross country again for a long time. So, this could be my last attempt to see my ex.

 

Should I do it? I am really scared to think about the possible scenarios -

 

1) She might not even open the door

2) She could be with another guy

3) Since I the only time I have is Sun morning, she might even be fast asleep.

4) Or it could be anything!

 

I still love her a lot and would do anything just to see her face and exchange a few words. But, I don't think she loves me anymore

 

What should I do? Should I just take a chance and go knock on her door?

 

Thank you my ENA friends.

[nikesnlevis]

I think it will eat at you too much if you don't at least try. And if you are shutdown, I think that will be enough to make you accept that it is, in fact over. I wouldn't just show up. Shoot her an email or a short call just saying "Hey, I'm going to be in town for a short time, let's get some lunch". Don't drag it out, just put it out there, and think POSITIVE!

[Cognitive_Canine]

She is trying to get over you and heal.

 

You should respect that and worry about your own healing.

 

I wouldn't contact her.

[yo]

I think it will eat at you too much if you don't at least try. And if you are shutdown, I think that will be enough to make you accept that it is, in fact over. I wouldn't just show up. Shoot her an email or a short call just saying "Hey, I'm going to be in town for a short time, let's get some lunch". Don't drag it out, just put it out there, and think POSITIVE!

 

What if she doesn't pick the phone? What if she doesn't reply back to my email?

[Little Blue Ant]

Dude, I would so not just show up like that. I remember reading your story a few months ago, and its pretty clear that she doesn't want to be with you - at least not now. You just showing up unexpected is only going to reinforce the negative feelings she has for you right now. What do you plan to accomplish by doing this?

 

on another note, and pardon me if I sound a little pessimistic, but you two can't possibly be "in love" with each other after 2 months of online dating. Love is something that takes a loooooooooooooooong time to develop. You guys had lust, and her lust didn't last. If a relationship can't last for more than 2 months than I hardly call it a relationship. Pick your chin up and find a local girl. Online dating is so impersonal.

 

My advice, move on. Stop telling her you still have feelings for her - period. She obviously would rather have you as a platonic friend than a lover. Why put yourself through it? Invest your time and energy into a girl who will embrace your passion for them.

[theredrocket]

you would be crossing the line from persistent to near stalking and creepy if you just show up.

[Little Blue Ant]

What if she doesn't pick the phone? What if she doesn't reply back to my email?

 

Then is painfully clear she doesn't want anything to do with you. Its pretty obvious.

[Clabs]

Hey Yo

 

Don't just turn up at her house - definitely a very bad idea and one that can only backfire on you.

 

Mate - you have to accept that this is a done deal and it is over and move on with your life.

 

Mark