luvfairies Posted May 3, 2008 Share Posted May 3, 2008 I am loosing all hope of finding a wonderful partner. My partner now is someone I have known since I was a kid and we just recently 8 months ago decided to shift to a relationship. He moved to Washington from Utah. He has been very sweet, says wonderful things, but lately barely lifts a finger to help out around the house and everytime we get into a fight he takes off in his car. He has a habit of getting angry if we have a disagreement over something and then some times leaves for days. I dont know where he is, who hes with or when he is coming back. This is driving me crazy and making me really depressed. This last argument ended with him going off to go rafting with a group of people he met on line. We agreed not to go get to know new people without each other. I warned him before he left that if he went against our agreement he could pack his stuff when he got back. This ended with him smashing my portable radio and leaving and not coming home that night. I feel I have to stand my ground on this or he will just keep walking out with me not knowing where he is, who hes with, and when he would come back. What do I do? Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted May 3, 2008 Share Posted May 3, 2008 The sweet talkers often are not so sweet once the relationship is in full swing. Walking away and leaving for days is emotional abuse..he has now escalated that to physical abuse...smashing the radio is the first step...next it could be your face. While he is away I would suggest you go talk to a group who specializes in helping women get away from abusers. See what you can do to get rid of his stuff and change the locks. Find out if you can do that. This will only escalate...you need to end the relationship now. Link to comment
greensleeves Posted May 3, 2008 Share Posted May 3, 2008 If you're losing hope that you'll ever find a wonderful partner, staying with this person is only going to hinder your search. He's not treating you with love or respect, is not communicationg with you the way a loving partner should and he's having complete disregard for your emotions. One thing that I wonder about is why the two of you made an agreement not to get to know new people without eachother. That "rule" seems restrictive to me. Link to comment
luvfairies Posted May 3, 2008 Author Share Posted May 3, 2008 When he moved up here he forbid me to see one of my male friends I go Harley riding with because once upon a time we dated and decided we were better as friends. And he mentioned no making of new friends of the opposite sex. So then I catch him emailing some girl that river rafts. He claims hes trying to find people for us to go rafting with. Not a guy but a girl mind you. So then Im pissed. He can make up rules and then not abide by them. So then this agreement came up that if we are going to make new friends we do it together. Then he breaks the rule yesterday saying hes going rafting (with the group or forum the girl is in). I tell him if you break our agreement you can pack your stuff. We also agreed if we were fighting that he would not just take off. It makes me feel emotionally sick. So anyway he leaves anyway breaks my radio and blames me for all of this. I was quiet 2 days due to him lack of helping out around the house. Says this is emotional abuse. Is it? DO you think this is all my fault> Link to comment
burninbright02 Posted May 3, 2008 Share Posted May 3, 2008 I know it's hard to see right now but you will find someone worthy of your time & love. This guy isn't the one. The violence is enough for me to say bye bye. You guys should part ways because he doesn't respect you enough to talk things out rather than running out on you. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 This is classic abuse...but the abuser is HIM not you. Preventing you from having male friends while he has female friends...accusing YOU of abuse etc. This is the slippery slope down and you should get out of it NOW. Read up on abusive situations and you will see that you are right smack in the middle of one and this will only escalate. Link to comment
bulletproof Posted May 5, 2008 Share Posted May 5, 2008 Someone who loves you won't "forbid" you to have friends, male or female. He also won't smash your property or storm out of your home on a regular basis. This sounds really unhealthy. There is always hope to find a good partner but not while the wrong one is in your life. Link to comment
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