Male Impotence,first sexual experience,trying to figure her out

[ATLstudent]

Hi I just recently had my first sexual experience, I've hooked up before this but nothing ever came of it other than making out, this is because in the past i have been with girls who do not sexually excite me. Anyway two nights ago i hooked up with a transexual girl, I'm bisexual, i believe, and no that when i fantasizw about being with a transgendered girl i get turned on, so back to the story. As the night progressed we both started doing things, but i had a problem, i was not getting an erection. She was physicallly touching me but nothing was really working, I was extremely nervous and my anxiety was out the roof so hopefully thats the issue, because i find this person to be very sexually attractive to me. Anyway when i eventually started to losen up a little and relax i found my self getting eroused and eventually was fully eroused, I guess my question is do guys deal with this at 22 with there first experiece, i figured if she touched my anywhere i should spring right up considering its my first time, she also did a number of things to me from touching to brief oral, i remained eroused througout this but never came and you always here of guys doing this within minutes during there first time, it was like i had this mental block or something and i just wasn't getting into to it all the way, i was too up tight, earlier that night i had to use the bathroom and was extremely pee shy, im one of those people who is extremely pee shy, can you be erection shy for the same reasons, i dunno.

1.) I'm wondering if this happens and is common for guys, my first time remember.

So anyway this transexual girl i met on the internet, she lived in my city and i decided to get to know her, she is extremely attractive to me, and so cool and laid back, so naturally i want to hangout again and get to know her alot more, i also really just need a friend as well to talk to because we can talk about things that i can't to my straight friends, shes really important to me right now, anyway she invited me to her place the first time and she kinda of stood me up, we arranged to hangout and the next day i called and left a message on her voicemail, she didnt call me back but wrote me a text saying it wasnt a good night hope i understand, and was really sweet about it. I guess shes got an ex boyfriend that pretty much supports her while she lives in the place she at right now, i think he pays the rent. So she claims that he is a bastard and doesnt want to be with him anymore, but still goes to see him from time to time. Well she invited me over the other night and this is when all this stuff went down, which was amazing i had a wonderful time, she wanted to have sex but i didnt bring protection so we just kept it at the level i explained earlier. Its crazy though i mean before the night started she was with her bf when i called her getting some of her * * * * back from him, and she openly talked about us hanging out, and said he was being jealous, so its not like im a secret little hookup or anything. So i'v texted her yesterday saying what a great time it was and that we should hangout earlier, i wasn't till much later in the day like six hours or somthing that she sent back, hey handsome what r u doing, i was like hi howare u, then she said exhausted, then i asked what she was doing tonight, but i got no response, late at like 11 i sent one saying what r u doing, no response. The other day as well, before the hookup she didnt answer my call, but finally text me like an hour later, then finally she called, but shes just real shady with me about calling me, I would usually take this as she was not interested but everytime i do get a chance to talk to her she seems like shes really interested, i by the way our night went tht other day i'd say she liked me. I dont want to be pushy around this girl, but want to let her know i am really interested, but shes so shady, and i am writing alot of texts that get no response, i just dont get it. Oh yeah after that night she was like, your coming over tomorrow right, and well do this and that next time your here. 2.)Any idea how to take this?

[lukeb]

I guess there are two questions there, I think you probably know the answer to the first one, and just needed to talk about it. Its probably normal if you're nervous or anxious to have problems performing. The second one is more difficult to gauge. It is possible when you actually connect she's being really nice to you and doesnt want to tell you know she isnt interested. When you're leaving messages she simply doesn't feel like responding. Maybe she is interested but she actually is exhausted. It is hard to say. All you can really do is let her know you are interested which you have done. The rest is up to her.

[eurocar]

It sounds like you're really confused. And honestly, it sounds like you really aren't all that "attracted" to her, and that you're mixing up legitimate sexual attraction with a contrived attempt at said, in order to fulfill your idealization of being bisexual and not homosexual.

 

Also, I'm a bit intrigued by this transsexual thing: is she a woman who used to be a man? That's kind of hard for me to fathom, in a sexual context. Does she have male or female genitalia? Do they look natural, if female? Interesting.

 

You appear to chalk up your consistent lack of sexual excitement to the particular girls you were with. Yet, do you realize the statistical improbability of that? No straight guy would even hook up with several consecutive girls to whom they are not attracted; that would defy our biology.

 

Frankly, I think you should just come to terms with the fact that you're, for practical purposes, likely gay. I know that may be hard to accept, but from everything you've thusly posted, this is I feel quite a logical conclusion.

[ATLstudent]

She used to be a boy, now a girl, she still has her male genitalia, which i came into contact with that night, it wasn't really doing much for my either, her body is perfect to me, shes so hot, its very femanine, and she petit which i like. I honestly dont have problems with being gay if thats the case, I mean most people would consider me hooking up with a transexual a very homosexual thing, i mean eventually im gonna hook up with a guy or at least try, but fantasizing about doesn't do much for me, i think would have the same issue with a guy, If i honestly stare at least transexual girl nude and cant take my eyes of her, and want jump on her, i mean thats sexual attraction, its just a psycholical problem i think

[Degan]

Maybe your nervous I had done that with my last 2 ex's I didnt know what to do they are far more experienced and didnt even give me a vote of confidence they tried giving oral then gave up. My impotence was based on lack of commitment in the relationship it was more lust. If the woman doesnt return your texts or phone calls leave her be and find another.

[oceanview]

It's not uncommon. Does sound like a psychological block. If she's interested then she'll initiate contact and make herself available. Like the previous poster I suggest moving on. I dunno. Sounds like she has someone else in her life. Maybe the ex boyfriend who is paying her rent. I mean, he's paying her rent.