Clueless of what to do with my life.

[Rayzer26]

Hey guys I need advice. Any would be awesome. So I'm 19 years old, I often feel lonely & depressed, and I currently attend a community college. My gf dumped me 3 months ago which still feels like yesterday, for complicated reasons... and I've never had a job.

I feel like a huge burden to my parents with all my gas, college, and other expenses. I'm really shy and have been all my life. It's really hard for me to meet new people. I get nervous pretty easily. I feel like I'm wasting my life worrying. I made a mistake when choosing some of my classes this semester and half the courses I'm taking have nothing to do with my future, they aren't even general ed. I want to get into nursing school but I don't think I can get all the prerequisites done in time for when I plan to transfer, and even then, it'll be really difficult to be accepted with all the waiting lists. I'm not even 100% sure I want to be a nurse. I feel useless and like I'm wasting my life doing nothing. I'm at my computer most of the time. I hate talking to my parents about this because all they do is discourage me, remind me how useless I am, or talk about how useless I am over the phone with other relatives in their native language which I can only understand enough to know they're negatively talking about me. I have no idea what I should do. The only thing I'm really doing to progress in life is taking classes, though it seems to be going nowhere. I wish I had confidence. I honestly don't see any good qualities in me. I wish I had a girlfriend, more friends, and a steady job. What should I do?

[Kamue]

Wow, do I understand where you are coming from! I feel the same exact way sometimes. I have only worked cleaning houses and I never went to college (though I did go to trade school for nails and waxing).

So here are my thoughts, darling. Nursing is an amazing career; my aunt has been a nurse since she was 18 and now she is 60. She loves it. Not what I am getting at though. Technical institutes are more like trade schools, where you can enroll in what you wanna be and they will train you and set you up with a job. Now, some teaching hospitals do enrollment like that too. I live in NH and I know that Dartmouth-Hitchcock Medical Center (a teaching hospital) will pay for your medical schooling as long as you work for them for some odd years. I was thinking of going into phlebotomy there. Maybe you should start off small in the medical field. Maybe as a Licensed Nursing Assistent (LNA) would be good to start as. TONS of schools do LNA training, and I know in NH its a very short course (like a few months). This may help you figure out if you want to be in the medical field. Its also great pay

As for your parents... Thats a tough one. Parents never really seem to understand where you are coming from. I don't want to say that you should ignore them or try to spite them or something. I suppose the best advice I can think of is try to do things more for yourself. There are always people in your life who will make you feel like crap. I know lots of those, but I try to remind myself that I don't need their approval to do well in life.

The best way I have met people was randomly talking to anyone. I compliment peoples' outfits, or hair, or really anything. Or I try to just make conversation. I sometimes will look for people who are doing things I'm interested in, such as, if I saw someone playing on a gameboy or something, I may ask them what game they are playing and then ask their opinion on it.

I hope I helped. And sorry if the flow of this message is akward. Feel free to chat with me any time!

[darkblue]

Hi Rayzer,

 

Most of your problems above seem to stem from self-esteem problems.

 

It's important that you increase your confidence and then you will more ability to make friends, relationships, better relationship with your parents, etc.

 

To do this, it would be a good idea to get involved in a club, sport or hobby that you are interested in. Then you can develop a talent while meeting likeminded people that you can develop friendships with.

 

You could also try and get involved with some work, maybe temporary or even voluntary, to do with helping out at hospitals/nursing homes. That would let you see what you are in for and maybe help make up your mind whether or not you want to pursue a career in that field.

[Rhonda 2]

rayzer- The Army has the solution for you dear chap. They will give you a purpose in life, shape you up, train you to be an Army medic- put you thru school, make you independent, give you a career and finally a retirement. Check them out- I've seen it happen many times

[Rayzer26]

Cool, thanks for the advice guys, yours was really helpful Kamue

 

As for the army.. I'm not sure, if I was to join the armed forces, I was thinking about the Navy. I feel that I'm underweight though. ..and I don't know how to swim. I've tried learning so many times. I know they help u gain weight and teach you to swim.. but I'd prefer knowing to swim before joining.

[Kamue]

Well, I'm glad I could help!

And my sister's boyfriend was in the Navy. He did stuff with nuclear things (I'm not sure what!) but he really liked it. I think specifically, he liked the structure and I know that he gained a lot of long term friendships from it.

Just remember, you are young and you have many years to find out what you wanna do in life. If you really like something, go for it. I mean, if you like doing medical stuff but don't necessarily want to work in a hospital, maybe look into holistic medicine, or massage or acupuncture!

Good luck, darlin. And like I said before, if ya feel like chatting, don't be afraid to message me.