Spending money on him.

[lana111]

Mostly asking this question to the men out there.

 

I live at home and have minimal expenses. Pretty much my car, insurance, cell, ezpass, and what ever I may have charged on my credit card any given month.

 

My bf lives with roomates and has way more expenses than me. Rent, utilities, insurance, student loans, credit card, and cell. Probably more.

 

Anywho, I pick up the tab a lot. Probably more than 1/2 the time. I also buy him gifts from time to time. I do this bc I can and want to. He will always say that I didnt have to get him ______ and I tell him I know I dont HAVE to. Also at times we may be thinking of what we are going to do on a weekend and he will say that we should just stay in and watch a movie bc he has no extra money (bc he has a wedding, or were going on a lil trip, or something like that is coming up), which Im always fine with, but I tell him if he wants to go out, we can go out on me. Then he usually says he doesnt want me to do that, gives me a kiss, and thats that. I wanted to take him to Vegas but he said he didnt want another free trip out of me (we have gone on two trips where me or my family paid for, with pleasure).

 

I guess what Im asking, do you think me spending money on him makes him feel uncomfortable? By no means is he that guy who has to make more than his girl or feels like picking up the tab is a mans job, but sometimes I think I make him feel bad.

 

Also, we have a trip coming up to visit friends. He bought the plane tickets and said it would be on him as I paid for our last trip. He also has a wedding of his close friend soon. I want to give him money for my share of airfare and $100 to go towards his friends wedding gift, but I dont want to make him feel bad, but I REALLY want to give him the money. I know that buying the airfare would set him back and that the money for the wedding would be nice (since he's in the wedding and wont be able to give a big gift, I thought it'd be nice to give my share). I have the money, even after putting a lot of my paycheck into savings, and I want to "share the wealth".

[bmwm3]

Lucky bf... its always been 80/20 for me... depending what kind of charcter your bf has.. i am sure he appricates what you do for him.. and would like to return the favor... this is how i would think... theres also guys outhtere that would use a girl for the money and not appricate and would not want to return the favor... i think only you know your bf true character...

[finittz]

First off I have to say he's a lucky guy, not only because you're willing to pay for stuff, but you just seem like a genuinely caring gf. I can understand how he's feeling...heck it just happened to me last week, where I was feeling kind of bad about money situation. I'm not the type of guy who feels its a mans job to deal with the money and bring it home etc etc...but there is still that part of most men that feel that they should at least be doing a 50/50 split. So reading about how much you've already spent past a 50/50 split on trips and the like I'm thinking he won't like it. But at the same time just mention it a couple more times, don't force it but let it come up in your convo and he might ease up to the idea. I hope this helped...and at the least just letting you know you're not alone out there that is in this situation.

[lana111]

thanks, i do care for him, so deeply. i havent even brought up about wanting to give him $ for the airfare and wedding. i know he's going to refuse it and say that he wants to pay bc i payed last and all that jazz... but i know it would ease him financially.

[knightNshiningarmor]

talking about it too much at least for me would really bother me...its like saying..i know you cant provide for yourself so let me help...even considering the circumstances...my girl helps out and pays for alot more now that she has a stead check before then i did a lot but its still like 60/40 give or take 5%... but i think its wonderful in the way she does it..she never brings it up but in moments will be like...its ok honey i got it this time and because its in the moment i dont feel like shes demasculinizing me but rather just wanting to contribute...so if he offers dont second guess him thats really going to hurt most guys ego..if he says he can then assume hes thought it through and can...id say offering the 100 dollars is only ok if you know the friend if not its a hand out...and most men dont like charity...if you want to suggest an idea to do where youll pay then say...hey hun let me take you to such and such...but you know he may just enjoy staying in and watching a movie..i personally enjoy that more then about everything esle...so my advice is offer to help out when you can..dont over do it...dont bring it up more then once...the whole "are you sure" is a real bad move....and put everything else in a savings and maybe one day if it should happen that it comes to marriage time you can look at him and be like honey all those times you took care of me i put a little away and now i want to give it back in a really nice wedding or something...just a thought...anyway good luck