Fake friend zoning of a boy to get closer to him... deceitful?

[Lucy__lou]

So readers of previous posts of mine might have noticed a recurring theme in my life where I put out too much sexual energy, and boys I'm interested in getting to know run a mile.

 

Usually if I like a boy and I'm also attracted to him, I won't mind if we be just friends, but often I don't get to even be friends with him because the attraction scares them off.

 

So I'm thinking of being a little devious and treating boys I like as if they're 'friend zoned' as some of you like to say, even when I haven't. Or maybe I actually WILL friend zone them for real. Convince myself out of liking them in THAT way. You know, talking about other people I'm interested in, asking cheerfully about people they're interested in... psyching myself into NOT seeing them in any romantic way.

 

I'm getting a bit desperate here. But thought I'd put my idea out to you all.

[i_win]

Good strategy. Friends first is always a good policy, even if you have to force it for a little bit.

 

Then when you get them alone in a corner when no one is watching you pounce!

 

JUST KIDDING.

[barbielovesmac]

I also think that is a good stradegy. Friends first make for good partners sometimes, but not always ..... bahahahaha

[lady00]

I would not recommend that. I also wouldn't recommend being too forward either. There needs to be a balance. Let the guys chase you. If they are interested, they will in the beginning. If you respond by friend-zoning them, they'll lose interest and ask someone else out. Focus on yourself right now and escaping from the "desperate" (your word) frame of mind that will probably push guys away.

[on1tyr]

If I'm interested in a girl and she says 'can we just be friends', I take it as a rejection. I wouldn't bother continue anything with her. This is coming from a 'nice guy' and not a player who is only out to score.

[Incognito_Squito]

I believe this strategy has already been invented.

 

Its called "playing hard to get."

[lady00]

I believe this strategy has already been invented.

 

Its called "playing hard to get."

 

I think playing hard to get is totally different. People who play hard to get don't friendzone people they are interested in...they flirt away but don't let themselves be "caught" right away.

[ghost69]

If I'm interested in a girl and she says 'can we just be friends', I take it as a rejection. I wouldn't bother continue anything with her. This is coming from a 'nice guy' and not a player who is only out to score.

 

exactly how i roll too. being friends to get close IS deceitful.

[AuthenticAuthor]

So, you think that "psyching" yourself out of liking them will somehow get them to like you? What happens when you accidentally convince yourself to not be attracted to them, and they just so happen to like you later? Reverse-psychology doesn't always work, and it has unforeseen consequences.

 

I think you're better off just focusing on why your attraction scares these men off. Is it that you go overboard with your feelings, or that these guys are irrational?

[drewciouS281]

Ive come to realize building a friendship foundation is best at first. Think about it. Its like a house, If the house does not have a solid base of foundation it will just crumble to the ground but if it was built with a solid foundation from the start, the house too will become solid and stirdy.

 

wow, i should listen to my own advice. haha

[kittenmoomoo]

I don't think it's a good idea at all, it would most likely backfire on you.

 

If you do try it, let us know how it goes though

[on1tyr]

Ive come to realize building a friendship foundation is best at first. Think about it. Its like a house, If the house does not have a solid base of foundation it will just crumble to the ground but if it was built with a solid foundation from the start, the house too will become solid and stirdy.

 

wow, i should listen to my own advice. haha

 

Hmmm... Using your analogy, you'd start building your house (relationship) by building the foundation for a shed (friendship). Sure, you could build a house on top of a shed's foundation, but why not just start out with a house foundation?

 

I stick to my original post. If you friend-zone the guy and he sticks around, he is either a loser hanging on in hopes he may get somewhere or a player that's stringing you along too, with hopes of getting laid.

[AuthenticAuthor]

Hmmm... Using your analogy, you'd start building your house (relationship) by building the foundation for a shed (friendship). Sure, you could build a house on top of a shed's foundation, but why not just start out with a house foundation?

 

I stick to my original post. If you friend-zone the guy and he sticks around, he is either a loser hanging on in hopes he may get somewhere or a player that's stringing you along too, with hopes of getting laid.

 

 

You are no one's friend with that attitude. Friendship involves mutual respect and love between people; all serious relationships spring out from this basic principle. Without friendship, our society is nothing.

 

But if you want to consider people who remain friends with those they love as "losers" following a lost hope, be prepared to eat your words. People's feelings can change in the future, and it makes no sense to walk away from a treasure just because it isn't the jackpot.

[boo121]

Then when you get them alone in a corner when no one is watching you pounce!

 

 

Ahh the old rape tatic... smooth.

 

Just say to the guys, "you know what, if nothing else you seem like you might make a nice friend" - that will help you out more than trying to convince yourself that you don't like men.