aesop921 Posted April 25, 2008 Share Posted April 25, 2008 I'm not trying to advocate marijuana or even get the common advice of giving it up with this post. However, I am not too experienced when it comes to relationships and recently I started getting to know a girl who is into me and I am into her as well. I can totally see us getting together soon enough, but I do not know if she knows that I smoke. To some people it isn't really a big deal, to other people it can cost them their relationship, so I was just wondering what the best way to find out if she minds if I do smoke or not? What I don't want is to come right out and randomly say that I smoke because that would seem really weird, but I also don't want to go out with her for a while and then her find out at a much later time and consider me a liar or something for not telling her. I understand that giving up weed altogether would eliminate these problems, however I do not want to give it up for the sole reason that I do not consider it to be a major problem. What would be the best way to tell her? Any advice is greatly appreciated, thanks very much P.S. I'm not a full blown pothead. I only smoke about twice or so a week if even that, plus I maintain good grades, so please don't stereotype me or anything like that Link to comment
kuiks8 Posted April 25, 2008 Share Posted April 25, 2008 start a conversation about likes and dislikes...do it in list format like: what do you think of starvation in africa what do you think about drininking underage what are your views on pot what do you think about sex before marriage... add and revise the questions as you see fit... Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted April 25, 2008 Share Posted April 25, 2008 Maybe have a mutual friend ask her about it. Bring it up all casual like. Link to comment
aesop921 Posted April 25, 2008 Author Share Posted April 25, 2008 Awesome, great ideas, and thanks for replying so fast! Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted April 25, 2008 Share Posted April 25, 2008 Awesome, great ideas, and thanks for replying so fast! How old are you, btw? Just a big thing is that if you are still in high school, girls (I know I was) are pretty weary about drugs and alcohol if they don't do them themselves. However, my attitude (along with the opinions of my friends) have loosened up a lot since college. I still would never do pot but not because I see it as wrong, just because I'm not into it. Just a thought. Link to comment
aesop921 Posted April 25, 2008 Author Share Posted April 25, 2008 How old are you, btw? Just a big thing is that if you are still in high school, girls (I know I was) are pretty weary about drugs and alcohol if they don't do them themselves. However, my attitude (along with the opinions of my friends) have loosened up a lot since college. I still would never do pot but not because I see it as wrong, just because I'm not into it. Just a thought. Yeah I'm a junior in high school right now... going to be 17 in a few days. Understandable about being weary in high school, it's probably because such a strong effort is made to enforce the control of substance abuse during those years. I know her friends smoke, but she seems like the one possibly straight edge person in her group, but maybe I'm wrong. I even talked to her face to face while I was high the other day, and the symptoms were blaring, but I don't know if she noticed or just thinks I'm really dumb lol, regardless she still seemed happy to talk to me Link to comment
lost1607307474 Posted April 25, 2008 Share Posted April 25, 2008 I think you should just bring it up casually. Try to strike up the topic in a conversation or something and then see how she reacts to it. Link to comment
LanceVanceDance Posted April 25, 2008 Share Posted April 25, 2008 I think you have to look at it from another point of view. You should want to find out whether you and this girl are truly compatible, instead of trying to please her at all costs. If she has a big problem with one of your habits, then you might not be all that compatible. If she wants you to stop smoking and if you agree to it, that is perfectly fine, but I would not hide to her the fact that you're a smoker. If it's an ethics issue then I would say it's important to find out right now if there are any such incompatibilities. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted April 25, 2008 Share Posted April 25, 2008 she probably already suspects it. you don't have to tell her. if she asks, say yeah once in a while. Link to comment
CaptainNapalm Posted April 25, 2008 Share Posted April 25, 2008 Just during a normal conversation while touching some random topics start talking about smoking weed. Don't directly say that you smoke and what does she think of that but by softly touching the subject you can get an idea what she thinks about it. I would say something like: "So I was at a friend's last night and he was smoking some pot, he really is into it, do you ever smoke? I never asked you about it?" She will either say something like: "yeah sometimes" then you know you can admit to it and she wont mind, or she might say something like "No I would never touch it and I don't hang out with people who smoke that stuff" in which case you know she has a problem with it. Feel her out and take it from there. Link to comment
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