eatingsnow Posted April 23, 2008 Share Posted April 23, 2008 for days i didnt know which section to look. (break up? or getting back together?) we broke up on 3/17. then we got back together on 4/8, I went on NC for one week while we broke up. he couldn't stand not knowing what I was doing, where I was, and whom i was with..so he said he wants to be in my life, so I said ok.. last week was all happy times, I even read posts in the getting back together section to make sure I dont mess things up again. that is until when we had another argument two days ago. he said everything just reminded him why we broke up the first time. so I am letting everything go. the second time doesn't hurt as much as I expected. I will go on NC again.. please help me through this.. Link to comment
george237 Posted April 23, 2008 Share Posted April 23, 2008 This should actualy help with your healing because it is sort of closure. Link to comment
bambina maxima Posted April 23, 2008 Share Posted April 23, 2008 Ah...the classic "trial break-up." The second time around, they always have a bit more gumption and really follow through. Sad. (Why do they never seem to have the bazooms to just finish it the first time??) I'm sorry. We're here for you. Here's a vote for no contact. Link to comment
eatingsnow Posted April 23, 2008 Author Share Posted April 23, 2008 thank you for the reply.. i intend to go on NC no matter what happens this time. i had been with him on and off for over 8 years.. and now what? its all gone... I want to hate him for not want to stay around, but he said that he doesn't think he can love me the same anymore. I think you are right about the closure. the funny thing is that I thought this would have been easier because its second time around, but its not.. hurts like hell.. Link to comment
Litgirl01 Posted April 23, 2008 Share Posted April 23, 2008 Hang in there eatingsnow! Breakups suck...no doubt about it! (((hugs))) Take this time to focus on you! Surround yourself with family and friends...lots of support! Posting on ENA has really helped me a lot! There is no magic cure for heartbreak unfortunately...you just have to accept it and move on! Eventually it gets better and you know that! xx Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted April 23, 2008 Share Posted April 23, 2008 thank you for the reply.. i intend to go on NC no matter what happens this time. i had been with him on and off for over 8 years.. and now what? its all gone... I want to hate him for not want to stay around, but he said that he doesn't think he can love me the same anymore. I think you are right about the closure. the funny thing is that I thought this would have been easier because its second time around, but its not.. hurts like hell.. Yeah, but on again-off again meant that things hadn't been working for 8 years. Consider yourself free now. You probably saw the same things happen, the same habits, the same conflicts. Time to start with a clean slate. Don't be sad, be excited about those to come! Link to comment
eatingsnow Posted April 23, 2008 Author Share Posted April 23, 2008 yes, and I am going to eat again. I starve myself over the years because he likes smaller girls.. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted April 23, 2008 Share Posted April 23, 2008 yes, and I am going to eat again. I starve myself over the years because he likes smaller girls.. First thing that I did for myself when we broke up was start wearing my hair up again. He always nagged me about how much he liked it better down. I can't believe I ever let someone influence me that much. Link to comment
thejigsup Posted April 23, 2008 Share Posted April 23, 2008 I cut my hair short. Men always wanted me with long hair. I haven't had it long for years and years now. It's my hair and my body and they will both look like I want, not somebody else. Sometimes breakups lead to epiphanies. Link to comment
eatingsnow Posted April 23, 2008 Author Share Posted April 23, 2008 i know, i think all the things he loved about me, then I question did he really love me for who I am or who he wanted me to be? Link to comment
eatingsnow Posted April 23, 2008 Author Share Posted April 23, 2008 # How do you justify the pain inside? how do you numb it? Link to comment
meagzt Posted April 23, 2008 Share Posted April 23, 2008 I'm afraid there's no way to numb it, just temporarily forget about it. I usually take the credit card out to the mall and allow myself a little shopping... i usually get my hair done, maybe my nails and buy a new outfit... I can make myself feel better and look better... and if he sees you he's like "wth was i thinking?" lol. Just don't do anything drastic... I had long hair until my ex and I broke up a few weeks ago... my stylist told me not to, that me being hormonal, I would regret it. And she was right. It's easier to deal with as time goes on, but I hate to be the one to say that there is no way to numb it. Link to comment
eatingsnow Posted April 23, 2008 Author Share Posted April 23, 2008 yes. my other half (dumper) just emailed me: I know that one day you will see my motivations for my decisions, and that it has nothing to do with doubting you. I do not doubt you in the least bit; I am just thankful to a part of your growth process and I truly am grateful for everything that has happened. You are my everything and I love you too. why????????????????? Link to comment
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