3 Weeks is almost here and im still hurt bad!

[CustomX]

going on 3 weeks after my girlfriend of 5 years borke up with me. I feel so empty inside. I feel so alone and unloved. Ive been trying hard to move on with my life but times i find myself begging for her back in my head. She moved on with this other guy as soon as we broke up. She called me about 2 days ago and asked how life was treating me? then i start to cry and she said Whats wrong?? then later in the conversation she says btw things are going good now with me and my new bf now that i broke up with you. GREAT!! Somtimes i just feel so low and down i just wana end it all. I'm a depressed reck and i cannot be happy at all sometimes...the holidays are coming and guess what she gets to be all happy and cuddly with her new boyfriend while i sit over here crying on christmas. I dont have anyone to hold and kiss and wish them a merry christmas... After she broke up with me 2 weeks later i took up smoking cigeretts. I just dont really care about my life anymore. I hate myself alot for letting this happen and i dont know if I can ever forgive myself.

[jcollin4]

hey buddy,

Times are tough for alot of us. We all have to hang on. My wife left me for another man and now the thought of my daughter being raised by another man are the worst. Not to mention the other man f'n my ex wife (the women I love). We have to do things that get our addiction of that person under control. I dont want you to talk, see or ask anybody about her for a few weeks. We are addicted to them and the only way to get over it is to go "cold turkey". It is always harder on the dumpor because it is such a shot in the dark. Believe me, she has been letting go for some time, she has a head start on you, and nothing you can do can make her come back, you can only do things for her to want to stay away. Just stay away from your addiction, let yourself go cold turkey, what you are feeling is no different than a crack addict trying to get off, the pain is the same the feeling of doing anything to get something is the same-but it gets better and it might get worse before it does get better. I am trying so hard, I had to see my ex this morn when I dropped my daughter back to her home.

The harsh truth is that if you harm yourself over your separation, your mate might even be angrier with you for causing them pain and problems. Besides, imagine your ex at a cocktail party on day saying, "Someone died for love of me." Or seducing a new lover with the sad tale of you, the tragic love. Naturally thier version of the story will have a different slant, probably how they lost their own tru love in a Romeo and Juliet tragedy. It will give her a reason and all the justification of the sepration "Now you see why I couldnt be with him" F her, get mad....get successful, get a hottie on your side and be happy, that is the best revenge..

[jcollin4]

hey buddy,

Times are tough for alot of us. We all have to hang on. My wife left me for another man and now the thought of my daughter being raised by another man are the worst. Not to mention the other man f'n my ex wife (the women I love). We have to do things that get our addiction of that person under control. I dont want you to talk, see or ask anybody about her for a few weeks. We are addicted to them and the only way to get over it is to go "cold turkey". It is always harder on the dumpor because it is such a shot in the dark. Believe me, she has been letting go for some time, she has a head start on you, and nothing you can do can make her come back, you can only do things for her to want to stay away. Just stay away from your addiction, let yourself go cold turkey, what you are feeling is no different than a crack addict trying to get off, the pain is the same the feeling of doing anything to get something is the same-but it gets better and it might get worse before it does get better. I am trying so hard, I had to see my ex this morn when I dropped my daughter back to her home.

The harsh truth is that if you harm yourself over your separation, your mate might even be angrier with you for causing them pain and problems. Besides, imagine your ex at a cocktail party on day saying, "Someone died for love of me." Or seducing a new lover with the sad tale of you, the tragic love. Naturally thier version of the story will have a different slant, probably how they lost their own tru love in a Romeo and Juliet tragedy. It will give her a reason and all the justification of the sepration "Now you see why I couldnt be with him" F her, get mad....get successful, get a hottie on your side, be happy, that is the best revenge..

[vfunkera]

aaaaahhhhhh nooo!

 

She called me about 2 days ago and asked how life was treating me? then i start to cry

you cried on the phone when she rang you! nooooo!! that was the worst thing you could have done.

she says btw things are going good now with me and my new bf now that i broke up with you

i knew that was coming the moment you said you began to cry.

im going to make the situation clear. she rang you because she was missing you- those 5 years you gave to her, the love you showed her. why would she ring you if shes already got a new boyfriend? you hadnt called her for a few days im guessing is that right? she gets the impression you aint thinking about her anymore while she still is (i.e. your moving on) and so contact was provoked. she would have been praying for you to say you miss her as well. she got an even better response, you cried. satisfied that your still down and been conquered, she gains complete control by saying that things are going great with her boyfriend, and so she is apparently moving on while your down and out.

 

in simple basics you have become dependant on her. she is not your only source of happiness, and never was! remember before her! you didnt need her then, and you dont need her now! i would put alot of money on a bet that she is thinking of you alot, and things arent that great with the new guy. thats a rebound and i guarentee it wont last. i guarentee it. when that does finish, she will come running back to you. for that to happen sooner rather then later, you need to make her miss you. next time laugh in front of her, smile, and be happy.'xmas is great, its brilliant'.

dont call her for a length of time. next time SHE calls you, you've got to be stronger.please.

 

dont get me wrong, i know how hard it is. 5 months ago i was feeling as low as you are. now i dont think i want her back. jcollin4 is right. i think with the girl your dealing with, the sooner you move on, the sooner she will miss you and want you back more. 5 years is a long time and girls are more emotional then guy. you act strong and show her that you dont need her anymore after 5 years together, and she will feel as bad as you are right now. dont live in the past, plan for xmas, and plan your life again.

 

good luck

[jcollin4]

vfunk is right, I printed out his response so I can remember his advice. I think all of us have opportunities like you had and blow them by our emotions. We have to play actor. Crying, begging and looking sad hasnt worked so I think when we are around them or on the telephone we should do the opposite, small happy talk, thats all just small happy talk. But we will not call, they can call and when they do small happy talk, thats all. When we are not around them lets fake being happy once in a while just to remind ourselfs how it feels. I've heard if you fake it your mind cannot tell the difference and you will start acting happy. And what if the next girl is around the corner and we are feeling sorry for ourselves, maybe we just lost out on our real true love? I will not think she will ever come back, I will not let myself fall into that trap of waiting. I keep telling myself its over, she has given her body to someone else, its over...that is the bottom line and she will never, never come back...Stay with the bottom line and try not to ask yourself why too much.