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CustomX

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  1. CustomX
    It's pretty much explainitory im ugly as heck and i cant get any dates. my ex was the only one who liked me. hmm but what can i do if im nasty ugly i should just except that right? eh...i dont care anymore i already know i am. just wanted to see what you people would say about the subject.
  2. CustomX
    I know how you feel. I had a girlfriend for 5 years and she up and left me for this other guy. I know how horrible it feels to be in love with someone who dosent want you. I still feel the pain after 3 months.
  3. CustomX
    Guess what im getting for valentines day? death. I dont want to live anymore im sick of these holidays im sick of bneing alone while my stupid ex girlfriend has a grand ol time with her new b/f everyone else is happy except me. well i dont care about me anymore or my stupid pathetic life so im going to tyr and find a way to die. suggestions would be helpful.
  4. CustomX
    No i cut all contact with her for a month now she never called me on my birthday. i dont intent on calling her b ack ever
  5. CustomX
    Okay so she broke up with me 3 months ago. Now its almost valentines day! GREAT. she has a new b/f and shes happy she said. Thats just great i get dummped and she gets blessed with a new b/f and what do i get blessed with? you got it DEPRESSION! for the last 3 months i have been in a hell hole of depression. Always thinking of her and how she really messed me up. We've been dating for 5 years and she decides to break up with me 3 times. After the first time i drove 1600 miles to get her back in my life. but to make long story short. She played with my heart and emotions and lied to me about loving me for a year. So after all of that horrible things she did to me she gets to be happy and i dont. That makes alot of sense doesnt it. OH well i really dont care anyways because i guess i dont deserve to be happy anyways right. after all i was such a bad boyfriend and always fought with her she says. So maybe im suffering because of this. I really dont care about her anymore but somehow she ends up in my mind before i got to sleep. Okay my real question is will somone please kill me to end my suffering and pain its unbareible and i cant stand it any longer. Please help me im a reck and i dont know what to do anymore.
  6. CustomX
    It's been almost 3 months now since my ex has broken up with me. ive been fine for about a month. Now im kinda getting back into the depression again and thinking about her. Somtimes i'll have dreams about her and ill just think of the good times we had together and ill just cry. I cant stop thinking about her no matter what i do!. i havnt talked to her in a month. and probley never will. I just dont know w hat to do about this be cause everytime i think about her i think about what she said and how i was a bad boyfriend.. and its true im such a horrible person. i just want to die so bad so i dont got to feel anymore pain. i ruined her life and mine. i just dont deserve to live.
  7. CustomX
    i guess but i really dont know what a good place is to meet girls.. i just have trouble talking to them and stuff you know?
  8. CustomX
    First off i'd like to say that the main problem is that girls probley think im ugly and why would they want somone who is ugly? Its like would you choose a honda civic over a BMW M3? heck no you would take the better car.so yeah i just wanted to say this to get it off my chest. lately i was thinking about going into the army...and hopeing i die in battle somewhere. so i dont have to worry about anything.
  9. CustomX
    I think she does want me to be jelous of her too she tells me that her b/f is coming over to spent the night!!! thanks alot i really wanted to know this. as if i havnt cried enough. then again she says she wants to be friends with me and stuff.....okay right you broke my heart and you wana be friends like nothing happened
  10. CustomX
    This is great 3 holidays have come and im depressed yay for me....my girlfriend broke up before thanksgiving of 5 years we have been together. now shes got some other guy shes been with for a month and i get to hear how much she just loves her new life and how its great without me. yay for her. so i get to be depressed again! with no girl to hold or spend time with while she gets to have a bf yeah.... i pretty much feel like taking the gun i got and shooting my head off......and dont waste you time telling me its not worth it over a girl because its just not over her its because im so repulsive nobody wants me so who cares.
  11. CustomX
    Today was the first christmas in 5 years i have been without my ex girlfriend.....and today i feel worse then i have been since she broke up with me over 3 weeks ago. I have been crying all day sitting in my room listening to The Last Samurai soundtrack. I know she is just happy with her new boyfriend she found 1 month ago and im unhappy and depressed. I dont know how much more stress and depression i can take. I am an unhappy person now and for futures to come. i cannot stop thinking about her. I had a dream about her last night.....i dont understand. its like somone wants to make sure i suffer hard and good on christmas day.
  12. CustomX
    I had a long distance relationship and i didnt get to see her for 3-4 months at a time! try doing that....and it was a 5 year relationship till she broke up with me...but thats a whole other story.
  13. CustomX
    I just feel very depressed and i cant stop my feelings....i feel like i messed up my future and now i have to start over....which isnt very easy because no girls like me.
  14. CustomX
    First i need to let everyone know what started my depressionl and i will do just that. I had a girlfriend i met on the internet about 5 years ago. Ever since then we've always saw each other every 4 months. She was my first girlfriend, my first love and i lost my virginity to her and the same goes with her too. I was her first everything. Things were going great up until july the 18th when she broke up with me. I begged and pleaded her not to and that i loved her with all my heart and soul. but she didnt seem to care. So 2 weeks goes by and i havnt really talked to her so i get this crazy idea and sell all my stuff and had my friend drive me to see her in arkansas. She then took me back and said she was impressed to see i would drive all the way to see her. So i stayed there for a month and my friend drove home back with his girlfriend that went with us. so on october the 5th i go home.November the 17th she tells me she wants to break up because of things arnt working out. before this 2 weeks she met this guy at this dance club. and has been hanging out with him. after the break up 1 week later she is going out with him....she tells me she is alot happier now that she doesnt have me in her life....ever since the breakup ive had feelings of guilt,depression,anger and suicide. I'm not doing very well at all. I'm always depressed and sad....i try to make friends with girls but they dont like me no girls like me im very ugly and sick looking. I dont have a car or anything so i can never go anywhere my whole life is crap. i have nothing going for me and i really hate myself for letting this happen...in which i mean letting her breakup with me. Its all my fault i let this happen and i just feel like punishing myself and try and kill myself for what happened. Now i cant be happy how could i be so stupid and let the best thing walk out on me? im very stupid and i hope i die real soon.
  15. CustomX
    i feel like screaming.....and after i scream i hear the eco......and let go of my anger my depression my sadness and people around me just look at me in pain while my heart tears into pieces and just feel bad and hold me until i feel better again..She called me today and we talked for a while and she asked how i was doing..i told her im doing pretty good and im better then i was. but then again i told her i was upset last night and i cried. she felt bad....but it was a good talk and this time she wasnt mad at me.
  16. CustomX
    It's been 3 weeks now since the breakup ive been doing pretty good for the past week and a half and now tonight im feeling really bad i broke down and cried out of nowhere and felt like i was worthless person. She is off having a great time with her new boyfriend...she gets to be happy while i sit here and cry and be sad and depressed! all my life i have been unhappy because ive never had anyone and noone has liked me or loved me like she did....now its back again...i feel like a POS and i hate my life soo much i want to kill myself why do i always have to be unhappy why do i always end up crying!! i hate it.......i just want to die and noone is going to stop me. i lost my faith in god because he hates me and likes me to suffer.
  17. CustomX
    Last night i had a a dream about my ex girlfriend. We were in the mall walking around and i remember asking her for a second chance and that i want her back. then we went back to my house and we watched a movie. After that she went back home. Then i woke up somone called my house. I dont know what to do it seems like ill never get over her its killing me so much. Please help me somone i dont know what to do about this.
  18. CustomX
    going on 3 weeks after my girlfriend of 5 years borke up with me. I feel so empty inside. I feel so alone and unloved. Ive been trying hard to move on with my life but times i find myself begging for her back in my head. She moved on with this other guy as soon as we broke up. She called me about 2 days ago and asked how life was treating me? then i start to cry and she said Whats wrong?? then later in the conversation she says btw things are going good now with me and my new bf now that i broke up with you. GREAT!! Somtimes i just feel so low and down i just wana end it all. I'm a depressed reck and i cannot be happy at all sometimes...the holidays are coming and guess what she gets to be all happy and cuddly with her new boyfriend while i sit over here crying on christmas. I dont have anyone to hold and kiss and wish them a merry christmas... After she broke up with me 2 weeks later i took up smoking cigeretts. I just dont really care about my life anymore. I hate myself alot for letting this happen and i dont know if I can ever forgive myself.
  19. CustomX
    Next thing comes to my mind is suicide......i have the feelings of guilt and rejection. I feel like it was all my fault and i cant get over that. i feel like noone cares for me or loves me. i just really want to end my life and get done with it....because i know these feelings just dont go away like that...its going to be a long time..and for me getting out of the house wont work because i have no car and my friends are never around in the day time.
  20. CustomX
    maybe he playing the role of a housewife keeps the house clean stays home and takes care of things. but having friends over all night and not going to bed before 5 am is wrong. He needs to stop playing around and start being serious and going to be with you when you do like a husband should do. Talk with him and really let him know whats on your mind.
  21. CustomX
    It's been 3 days going on 4 days since ive last spoken to my ex girlfriend. She said she would call me when she is ready? but from what she said when she broke up with me is that we could get to talk everyday and she would be here for me. Not once has she called to see if im doing alright or anything!! after we broke up she has been all buddy with this guy and now shes going out with him! this was a 5 year relationship she just ended with me and she is moving on just like nothing? i dont understand how somone could be so cold like she is! makes me so F...ing mad!!
  22. CustomX
    Yeah thats true some women can just turn off the feelings and move on without feeling bad. im feeling a little better the distance helps alot and everything i just want to find somone else. i want to get on with my life and find somone else to share my life with. this christmas is going to suck so bad!!! makes me not want to live you know? I learened that if you overcome you fears it will help alot...think about all the fun things you guys did and think about all the little things it will hurt at first but after you think about them the hurting stops you have overcome you fear of memories and then you can heal up better.
  23. CustomX
    Today is friday and i feel bad all i can think about is her and if she is thinking about me. everyday i wake up she comes to my mind. I bet she thinks of that other guy everything she wakes up and probley never thinks about how i am doing. After 5 long years she just dumps me and never calls to see how im doing!! and she says she cares for me alot and im her best friend!? then how come she doesnt call to see how her friend is doing? my guess is that she doesnt care! I feel so betrayed, Rejected and not welcomed. All because of this new stupid guy she is going out with. People talk about how karma is going to get her back but i really doubt that because seems to me that everything is fine with her and that $#*(& guy!
  24. CustomX
    I really doubt that she will ask me back in her life...she told me she wouldnt ever come crawling back to me She has too much pride she says....but thats what i did i begged for her back because i loved her...shes just a heartless person and i see that now.
  25. CustomX
    I've even asked her if we could just go to a relationship therapist and she wouldnt do that! i was the one trying to keep the relationship together and going. she was jus giving up like a weak person that she is now. I think i might be going to a psychologist now to talk with somone who can analyze my feelings and some things she did to me.
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