dr1972 Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 Ok so I have been with this girl for about two and a half years now, and for at least the past year, maybe even a little longer, sex is close to nonexistant. We have only had sex once in the past three months to give people an idea just how bad it is. Even tho I have frequently told her that it is a big problem for me it has never been changed. Im not sure how most guys feel if they are in this situation but me it makes me feel like crap. It has made me really insecure too the point where I'm not even sure that she actually really want to be with me and I have actually just considered moving on. What do you think? Link to comment
bmwm3 Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 I would of moved on long time ago.... the fact that she knew you had a problem with it... and you still stuck around... gave her all the power... she looks at it as why change if i dont have too... but seriously theres problaly deeper problems on why she hold out on sex... i would of left... and if she really loved and wanted you.. she would of been back.. with a solution on how to fix it... its only gonna get worse.. not better... Link to comment
emericaskater Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 yeah, if you're not getting what you want by now don't expect it. i had the same thing, but it took me 4 years to realize haha. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 If you are so insecure, you probably shouldn't be having sex. Have you talked to her about it? Link to comment
dr1972 Posted April 18, 2008 Author Share Posted April 18, 2008 I wasn't insecure till she started being that way. I'm not insecure to the point that I don't think I could get another girl cause I know it would be easy, i never had trouble before, but more of a not trusting her insecurity. I'm just about to the point of finding a care who will actually fullfill my desires, if she really wanted me she would try and work something out but so far has not. Says that she is just not interested in it anymore and i'm not sure that i believe her. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 does she give you a reason other than she isn't interested? Maybe the first time scared her, hurt her, made her feel guilty. Link to comment
dr1972 Posted April 18, 2008 Author Share Posted April 18, 2008 No she just told me that she doesnt think about it anymore and at the same time, not very long ago maybe a week said that she did think about it, her storys are all mixed up. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 Well, maybe you should break it off then. I wouldn't want to continue with someone with a vastly different sex drive than I. That is one of the main complaints of marriage now-a-days. If you can't even reach a compromise, bad sign too... Link to comment
dr1972 Posted April 18, 2008 Author Share Posted April 18, 2008 thats what I have been leaning towards, it's something I hate to do because I love the girl, but at the same time I feel so deppressed and unwanted. Its not just for the pleasure of it either, I actually feel like I'm closer with the person when we make love. Anymore it seems so distant. Link to comment
crosstownTraffic Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 I have dated someone very much like what you describe your gf to be... they sort of acted like they could care less if they had sex or not... They had some sexual issues.. like a few times they couldn't get it up... and I do not think it was me... I think it was him.. but still it made me feel like garbage.. so your feelings are not unique considering the situation you are in. I see from your post, you have discussed this with your gf.. but things have stayed the same... and I can feel your pain.. Being in love wiht someone who does not want to have sex with you is such a painful, ego-deflating experience... You would have to go through it yourself to know what it feels like, and it does not feel good. I hate to say it, but have you told your gf that if you continue to have no sex, you may think about breaking up with her? You do not say your ages, so I don't know if it was her first time or what... cna you give us more background? Link to comment
ghost69 Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 sex is something you want in a relationship. it can be the same as looks, personality, etc. if you aren't satisfied why stay? i would have been outtie the first month this was going on. Link to comment
Iceman26 Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 Ok so I have been with this girl for about two and a half years now, and for at least the past year, maybe even a little longer, sex is close to nonexistant. We have only had sex once in the past three months to give people an idea just how bad it is. Even tho I have frequently told her that it is a big problem for me it has never been changed. Im not sure how most guys feel if they are in this situation but me it makes me feel like crap. It has made me really insecure too the point where I'm not even sure that she actually really want to be with me and I have actually just considered moving on. What do you think? I think you should move on dude. If she is ignoring your needs then why be with her? Link to comment
dr1972 Posted April 18, 2008 Author Share Posted April 18, 2008 Im 26 and she is almost 24 she wasn't my first and I'm not her first, we have both had relationships earlier on. So it wasnt either of our first times. I have told her that I was thinking about breaking up if it stays like this much longer. I'm just to miserable going on like this. and at this point if things are gonna stay like this I would prolly be more happy single. Link to comment
gcollier2002 Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 I think you're giving her all the power in this, man. Don't tell her "I'm thinking about doing this if..." That will always backfire. If it's no good... say "It's no good, hit the bricks, babe" If you're comfortable with being single for a bit and she makes you feel like trash anyways, you might even feel better for it. Link to comment
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