letteiljmc4ever Posted April 17, 2008 Share Posted April 17, 2008 i have my parents telling me my attitude i have is horrible and selfish but my peers telling me its a good thing... so here's the story i went through depression and a time where i let people push me around and step on me after i got the therapy i needed i was changed person and so much happier and felt like i could handle anything that came my way. basically now the kind of person i am is the "i dont take any type of crap from anybody no matter who they are and if you eff with me you're effed" no matter how big or how small the situation is, if you mess with me you're gonna have to deal with it and you're not going to like it. no one pushes me around without a fight first. a lot of people say its good because i stick up for myself in any situation my parents think its being full of myself? i dont know im pretty happy with it. what do you think? Link to comment
Clementine orange Posted April 17, 2008 Share Posted April 17, 2008 It's all about balance. The middle ground. Careful you don't swing the pendulum too far the other direction in your desire to not be stepped on all the time. Some fights are really too small to be fought with anything more than a shrug of the shoulders. Congrats on changing your life though - pass it on to someone who needs it. Link to comment
letteiljmc4ever Posted April 17, 2008 Author Share Posted April 17, 2008 i see what you mean. and thanks! this is a perfect example to anyone who thinks they are worthless its possible to get better! anymore advice? anyone? Link to comment
CarnelianButterfly Posted April 17, 2008 Share Posted April 17, 2008 How old are you? Link to comment
letteiljmc4ever Posted April 17, 2008 Author Share Posted April 17, 2008 im 17 years old Link to comment
Russ Posted April 17, 2008 Share Posted April 17, 2008 im 17 years old Then I can relate to you perfectly. I'm 17 as well. And since I used to be a fat kid, the whole "being pushed around and bullied" affected my life as well. It's true that you should find a middle ground. Being spineless is bad, but being overly hostile is no better. Your counsellor might have to be replaced by an anger therapist instead then. Link to comment
CarnelianButterfly Posted April 17, 2008 Share Posted April 17, 2008 I definitely agree that its all about balance. You can go from being self depreciating to selfish pretty easy. Being selfish is fine at times, but you really need to know when that is appropriate. You can take care of yourself, but it doesn't need to be at the cost of others. And frankly, sometimes you need to take some crap because no matter how good you think you are, there is always room to improve. Link to comment
letteiljmc4ever Posted April 17, 2008 Author Share Posted April 17, 2008 well im not in therapy anymore i stopped going in the middle of last summer so i was in it for 12 weeks all together and went twice a week. i mean i never start the problems first..ever...im so over everything and the way teenagers are. but like the other day for example i was walking out of school and this kid i didnt even know (because im at a new school) was bashin on the music i like and called me dirty. he dsnt even kno me and i dont even know him or his name! so i absolutly flipped out and made a huge scene... Link to comment
CarnelianButterfly Posted April 17, 2008 Share Posted April 17, 2008 That response inappropriate and immature. If you were really over it, you'd have walked away. The saying "Ignorance is bliss", it is, you can ignore it and go on with your life. Take it in and you weigh yourself down with all that negativity. Link to comment
letteiljmc4ever Posted April 17, 2008 Author Share Posted April 17, 2008 that's my problem..im just worried about being the one stepped all over. because thats the way i used to handle it was "just walking away" it got me nowhere but more stepped on and depressed to the point i considered suicide Link to comment
Clementine orange Posted April 17, 2008 Share Posted April 17, 2008 To the music basher - just raise your middle finger, give a big smile and keep on walking. Silence speaks way better than words. The one who loses his "cool" first, loses. Let the other guy rant and rave. That's my advice. Don't let the bastards get to you! (can I say that ENA?) Link to comment
letteiljmc4ever Posted April 17, 2008 Author Share Posted April 17, 2008 that works too. but like i said im just paranoid. i dont want to put myself in that depressive state again. so either ill get into a physical fight over it or a huge verbal fight. its not because i cant control my anger im just worried about being stepped on Link to comment
CarnelianButterfly Posted April 17, 2008 Share Posted April 17, 2008 To the music basher - just raise your middle finger, give a big smile and keep on walking. Silence speaks way better than words. The one who loses his "cool" first, loses. Let the other guy rant and rave. That's my advice. Don't let the bastards get to you! (can I say that ENA?) It makes him look like an idiot. Link to comment
letteiljmc4ever Posted April 17, 2008 Author Share Posted April 17, 2008 hahah yeah i could see that. i kinda wish i could change it sometimes and know when to make a big deal out of it and when not to Link to comment
Clementine orange Posted April 17, 2008 Share Posted April 17, 2008 ^^^^^ try visualization. Picture in your mind the next time something similiar happening and then picture your self calmly and cooling (but at the same time assertively) walking away from the situation. Maybe you need to go to a gym and work out some of these frustrations on some free weights. Just a suggestion...works for me. Link to comment
letteiljmc4ever Posted April 17, 2008 Author Share Posted April 17, 2008 haha thats funny cuz i always think the complete opposite! when i do something obnoxious after i always think ah i shoulda done this to make it more obnoxious...im soooo messed up here lol Link to comment
Russ Posted April 17, 2008 Share Posted April 17, 2008 Maybe you need to go to a gym and work out some of these frustrations on some free weights. Just a suggestion...works for me. I agree there. The gym not only boosted my confidence, get me in shape, etc, but it became a healthy lifestyle in general. I now enjoy eating healthy, working out, etc. Total confidence booster. Link to comment
EQD Posted April 17, 2008 Share Posted April 17, 2008 I was just like you when i was in middle school. I would always bully people around and walk on them. Huge verbal fighter, no one messed with me, i was on top or nothing. Then i realised how immature it was to be so extreme. So really these actions were a clear sign of insecurity instead of 'confidence' or what have you. In reality you are reacting strongly because you are afraid to be pushed around again and you are unsure of yourself. And through aggressive action you think you are winning that battle. The best thing you can do in all situations is keep your cool, because just like CO said, the one who loses the cool, loses. Everytime. Link to comment
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