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Please everyone read and help big problem

boywonder23

By boywonder23
in Relationship Advice

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boywonder23 Newbie

boywonder23

Posted
Posted

please i know its long but please

i'm begging all of u to help me out

 

 

 

 

ok this is sort of a long story but here goes nothing

 

please read it and give me advice..i'm begging..i need someone to hear me out

 

 

i was bestfriends with this girl for a year....i was there while she had 2 different boyfriends i always comforted her when they did something stupid

however i never told her to leave them for me or anything like that.

during her 2nd boyfriend me and her got really close...he was treating her like crap cheated on her a lot...i was always there to tell her everything would be fine...she broke up with him october of 2006, we started dating october 23rd 2006....she didn't want to tell anyone that we were dating because she didn't want to make it seem like she hops from guy to guy

with me that was totally understandable

however i was always hardheaded and always wanted people to know about us

i couldn't kiss her in school or do anything of that sort..but we managed because we loved each other..

in december we received news that she was moving to arizona and she was leaving before christmas to live there for good..

we already knew we had a strong relationship we loved each other..everything was good..so this was horrible news..

i was heartbroken because she had moved but we were so into each other that we decided to make it a long distance relationship...from january-may everything was perfect...she showed me she loved me over the phone in ways i thought weren't possible...she would tell everyone in her new school i'm going to marry this guy and show them a ring i bought her

everyone knew about me

when we were on the phone while she was in school everyone would grab the phone like omg is that chris is that who you always talk about

and they would grab the phone and say omg i've heard so much about you

 

she showed me she loved me soo much...and heres the downfall..

 

during may i made a lot of new friends..i was still in NY

i became more known with more people

my friends introduced me to more and more friends..

i thought i was ontop of the world...i thought everything was perfect....

there was this girl that i knew since HS and me and her started talking a lot..

we started to like each other.....i thought my girlfriend loved me so much that she would never leave me...so i thought my life was perfect..i told her

that i sort of liked the girl from school

and i told her we needed a break that i was gonna be with this girl

but not for long just to get me over her...

she was heartbroken

i broke her heart.....

this was MY mistake....i left this beautiful wonderfull perfect girl

for some street cat, who i didn't even feel anything for

i just thought i was the * * * * ....

i treated my girlfriend so bad...

this all happened in may a month before she was suppose to come in june to visit me for the summer

and she told me

i don't care if u left me for her i'm still going to kiss you and everything because i love you and i know you're going to come back to me

so now i'm super happy because i think i'm gonna be with 2 girls at the same time

 

i was soo stupid

 

 

i know everyones reading this like * * * ...

let me keep going..

she got here in june....

i had already broken up with the other girl

NOT by choice

she had broken up with me..

so my REAL love came back to NY

to visit...

during this time...

we were always with my friends

she would always tell me

i want to be with you alone

after sex she would always want to sleep for a while

and i would always just say no no someone might come

she always wanted me to comfort her

but i was too cool to because i was with my friends

we went to rock a way beach

she got her period at the beach i comforted her for 5 mins

then i got back to my friends..

everyone knew i loved her everyone knows i still do

some people know i was just trying to be mr cool

 

she left again in july...we both cried

i told her not to cry

i would go visit her in august...

she was delighted...she couldn't believe it

when she got there she told everyone how i was going to visit in august..

august came

and i didn't go...i kept spending my money, she was sad

i kept flirting with other girls

and she would always tell me why are u flirting why are u flirting

u were suppose to come

my bday was august 23rd i got drunk

and tried to kiss another girl....

in my mind it was like

this girl loves me too much and she won't leave me..

no matter what i do

and although i always did stupid things

NOTE: i also changed my style and let my hair grow...

i used to be a normal NY kids and during the months i let my hair grow out

and looked like a rock/punk kid..=/

 

 

anyways..

 

 

she was the one i really loved.

and i was such a fool

 

here comes september...

things stop she starts to try to flirt with other guys but is only doing it to make me jealous

i don't get jealous at all

i actually ignore it

she gets sad because her plan doesn't work....

she was doing it to get me backk

 

 

october comes...

i only call her at night because we always slept together on the phone

weird but it's love....

our anniversary is october 23rd we made a year...

then

her phone calls slowly stop...

i hardly pay mind to it...

the month finishes here comes november........

she stops calling me almost completlely

she tells me i'm different and i tell her but she always has taken me this way

and i tell her why is she acting different

i start crying like a baby asking her what's going on

she says nothing

i hurt her soo much

december was the worst month of my life..

we fight so much i ask her

what's wrong

why is she actually fighting back now

and i ask her why is she acting weird..

she tells me

we need a break

i FLIP out..start bursting into tears start begging her to stay

she starts crying and tells me no no no no i need this

i'll come back just give me this

i gave you your time now give me mines

and i say omg omg is there another guy

and she says no

it's just for me i'll be back soon i promise....

i let her go

i am literally depressed the whole month..

idk what's going on and why she wants this break..

i beg her to come back to be for the new year

she agrees...probably only because she saw me suffering during this time

we never slept together like we used too on the phone

hardly ever talked

and she had cut her old cell phone off...

she got a new one during christmas time...

january was good...everything seemed perfect again although i found her attitude a little more blunt

she was way more straightforward about things

in feburary she started acting weird again...

and i asked her is everything ok?

kept asking her

are u sure there isn't another guy

please please tell me the truth

and one night she said

ii can't take this anymore u attack me soo much

there isn't another guy!!

i think we might neeed another break

and i say no no please

not again

please please

beg her again

and she says ok

although i knew she really wanted it

in march same thing

is there another guy is there another guy?

no no no no

always the same answer

i sang a song for her that she dedicated to me when she was inlove with me like when she 1st moved over there....

i thought she would cry after hearing me sing it

she just said

"baby i loved it"

and switched the subject really fast...

i asked her

again

are u sure there isn't another guy

just tell me the truth

don't leave me hurting liek this

and she says..

no.......

 

 

 

march 30th 2008..

she calls me and says babe i'm gonna go take a shower..

i say ok i love u ttyl...hang up..

i forget to tell her i might be going out

i call her cell phone back...

she doesn't pick up

i call her house phone

her father picks up..

i say can i talk to pie...

he says..ok let me tell you something

"you know pie has a new boyfriend man?"

i start crying

omg are u serious

this can't be happening

hes just mocking me

"yea i'm serious bro"

"so you better figure out what to do and leave her alone"

i ask him

for how long man? i didn't know about this..

he calls his wife "paola didn't tell chris she had a new boyfriend?"

she says "idk what did you say"

i'm bursting into tears in my room

i say

can i please talk to her

he hands her the phoen

i'm like baby omg is this true have you been keeping this from me for 5 months?

she told me no my dad is just saying that because he doesn't want me to move back to NY

then i say omg baby just tell me the truth..

and she tells me.....

theres a guy that likes me

he was acting real nice to me

when u were treating me like * * * * ..

and i say did u go out with him

she says no he always called me his girl

but i never looked at it like that

she tells me she only kissed him 5 times..

i don't believe it...i know she did more...

i cry and cry and tell her please don't leave me

do u want to be with him?

she says idk cos she doesn't want me to leave her.

i ask her

why didn't you tell me???

 

and she says i didn't know how to stop it

she tells me he met her parents

she went to his house for easter to eat with his parents..

and her parents met his..

she tells me she doesn't love me

she loves me

and she didn't want to tell me because she thought i would leave

and she didn't want to hurt me like i hurt her...

she begs me not to leave

and i say i'm never gonna leave...

she doesn't know what to do

i tell her to tell him to stop everything please

she tells me shes going to talk to him

she talks to him in school and tells me what she told him

 

i believe her that she told him...

things get slightly better but as u can proabably guess

i was still scared and paranoid thinking that she really didn't tell him anything

i let my paranoia get the best of me

i accuse her of still messing with him

i always bring it up

what did u do

are u sure u only kissed?

she says please stop accusing me

i love u i made a mistake u made mistakes too please i'm not going to do it again

we all learn from our mistakes please just believe me..

and for a week everything is ok..

then april 15th

i go to her voicemail

and i hear a voicemail that says

"hey babe sorry i didn't call you my sister was using the phone, i love you"

 

i call her job crying again

and i say

baby i thought u stopped

and she says i did stop what are u talking about

i tell her check ur voicemail

and she does...

then she comes back and says omg idk why he said that

u want to call him right now?

so we 3 way call him

and she says chris is on the line right now

chris talk to him

and i say

why are u calling her saying that

and he says idk i just wanted to talk

i dated her for a while and i loved her

and i said * * * u dated her for a while

and she tells him omg stop lying

and he gets quiet..

 

now i'm thinking to myself

maybe she called him and told him

oh chris found out this and that..

just don't say anything dumb

 

so yea tells him

didn't i tell u i loved chris and that me and u had to stop everything

and he says "yea"

he just agrees with everything she says...

so she says ok bye

and then she tells me

see i proved it to you

and i said how is that proving me wrong..

he was just agreeing with you..

why would he call u baby and say i love u

and she said

because he told me he was gonna call me today i woudl've told u about the voicemail if i woudl've heard it 1st

and i said ur lying no u wouldn't

and she says omg just believe me

and i say how can i trust u when u kept something from me for 5 months

and she says just do it ur the love of my life

i'm moving in with you after i finish school i'm going over there in june i promise to everything nothing is going to happen

i'm not doing anything i learned from my mistakes just trust me..

so i had one more idea...

when she gets home

i tell her ok

this is what ur gonna do

ur gonna 3 way call him without him knowing i'm on the line

and she says..."ok" she says it scared..

so she calls him

and she says hello

and he says yea..

and i said

why did u call me earlier

and he says

"to talk"

and she says about anything in particular?

and he says "no just to talk"

and then she says look

i know me and u did stuff in the past...

but i'm sorry i lead u on and i know i already told u we can't do anything anymore

but i really mean it now we can't do anything at all

don't look at me as someone u like look at me as a friend

and he says ok

then he says

ok i gotta go now

and she says wait where are u...

and she says nvm ok

 

she hangs up

i'm still not sure

because i heard her sad as she was saying those things

 

she tells me again

see i proved it again i love u

do u believe me now and i say ok my love..please just promise u won't do nothing again..

 

the next day her mom says i gotta talk to u

 

she keeps me on the line so i can hear..she says

why did u call cisco yestyerday and told him that

 

 

so basically this kid called my girlfriends mom and told her everything that had happened...

it's basically like going to her mom like "hey man make her like me and not him"

which i think is bull * * * * ..

 

 

 

so her moms on his side..just feeding her stupid * * * * ..

if u stay with him ur life is gonna be hell..

ur life is gonna be hell

she doesn't even know me

and shes hammering me with stupid tags.

hes making ur life hell

hes not your boyfriend..

hes taking control of you

and after the convo

she says

 

 

 

 

omg my moms so right

u do take control too much

and i say omg

are u serious

just tell me the truth if u like this kid go with him

and she says no omg i love u i wanna be with you

i want to be with you.

 

so i say fine i agree to being "less controling"

and "to call her less"

and if she tells me shes doing something to

not call her and attack her

 

and i say fine..

so this morning

i call her like i regulary do

 

now she wants to hang up for everything

when she would normally keep me on the line

"i'll call u back i gotta put my shirt on"

i'll call u back i gotta do my bed.

i'll call u back i gotta gel my head

she tells me

she loves me

and that she'll never hurt me ever ever again

and she promised that she will be back in NY in june.

and that she learned from her mistakes

 

i'm trying to stay as happy as i can..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

but why is she trying to get so much space now?

do you guys think shes still messing with this kid

 

does she really love me

someone please help me out

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Aviatormy Apprentice

Aviatormy

Posted
Posted

Man, you are an emotioinal wreck.

 

You try to find happiness with popularity

 

You are only affectionate with her "behind closed doors"

 

you put your friends first

 

you like dating multiple partners

 

You thrive on the fact that "she will not leave you no matter what"

 

you cry histerically when she threatens to leave you

 

you make her PROVE her love to you

 

You don't trust her

 

You constantly bring up the past

 

you break promises to her

 

you dont' give her SPACE....

 

You seriously need to work on yourself before you drive this girl insane. You should move on and take this as a harsh lesson. You seriously need to find your self happiness. You can no longer live your life through her AT YOUR CONVENIENCE....

 

Sorry but this is the truth. I am surprised that she has stuck it out this far with you. Do her a favor and end the relationship and tell her that you need to work on yourself before you can be a real MAN to anyone.

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Aviatormy Apprentice

Aviatormy

Posted
Posted
damn =(

so does that mean

shes going to keep cheating on me?

 

Yes... you have not given her a reason to be faithful to you. I am not saying that her "cheating" is right. She probably just fears that if she were to leave you, she would never hear the end of it. She doesn't have the heart to break up with you but I am sure that she wants to.

 

let her go before you spend another 2 1/2 years of your life holding onto something that will definitely slip away due to your inevitble actions.

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Aviatormy Apprentice

Aviatormy

Posted
Posted
so i shouldn't even try to fix this anymore?

 

I wouldn't... its IMPOSSIBLE. Fix yourself, thats the easy part.

 

Go to your local bookstore and read "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Robert A. Glover

 

Also go online and read this forum for quick advice

 

link removed

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Aviatormy Apprentice

Aviatormy

Posted
Posted
break up with her. It will hurt both you and her, but it is for the better, Tell her that she deserves better. Looking back you realize how much that you have done wrong, and how much you need to work on yourself.

 

bingo Could not have worded it better.

 

Good luck and thank you for the honesty on your post. By not "sugar coating" your end... it shows maturity on your part and that you are in fact ready to work on yourself. Good luck with the break up. Stick to your improvement phase and you will make another woman VERY happy.

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