Suzanne1281 Posted April 15, 2008 Share Posted April 15, 2008 How do you respond to a text that says "Sorry about the distance. I hope you are doing well." I haven't heard from him in a week. I don't want any bad feelings between us. I've been through hell for the past three weeks not knowing what was going to happen between us because I told him I'd give him space and he told me he needed to put aside our issues so he could move on from his feelings for his ex. We left the door open. No goodbyes. I told him to clear his head and if we both want to be together at some point he should call. So how do I respond to this simple text? I know I will be told "Don't respond" but it will bother me to feel like I was cold to him. I want to remain the bigger person in this situation. Of course I'm not alright, this situation has been awful. But how do I respond without sounding like "PLEASE COME BACK TO ME NOW! I MISS YOU!" Oh this is hard. Link to comment
EyesOnThePrize Posted April 15, 2008 Share Posted April 15, 2008 What are your ideas for responding to it? I'm sure you have some and I'd be curious where your head is at first. Link to comment
Addicus Posted April 15, 2008 Share Posted April 15, 2008 Me personally..I wouldn't. I assume he ended things? You want to get back together? Do you want to be in limbo land or have a clear idea and expectation of the relationship you have with your ex? I have learened from thsi forum there are two places you can be....taking control of your life and going NC, anything short of your ex saying "I want to reconcile" means you continue NC. Or you can jump on the rollercoaster of emotions and ride for a while until you get tired of it. I am sure that other people will suggest other things but it wounds like he is on his own time frame, it sucks but the only perosn you can control and take care of is yourself. Link to comment
Addicus Posted April 15, 2008 Share Posted April 15, 2008 What are your ideas for responding to it? I'm sure you have some and I'd be curious where your head is at first. EYES...good question....what are your thoughts Suzanne on what you want to say? Link to comment
Suzanne1281 Posted April 15, 2008 Author Share Posted April 15, 2008 What are your ideas for responding to it? I'm sure you have some and I'd be curious where your head is at first. I want to say "I am doing alright." Or "I'm ok, keeping busy."---but that sounds like I am sitting here in mourning for him (which I am). Or, "Thanks for the message, I'm doing ok I guess." Honestly, I'd like him to know how much this has been hurting, but I don't think that would be the right course of action. What's sad is I want him to respond to my text when I do send it. And if I don't respond at all I'll blame myself for it not working out. Addicus, things didn't really end. They were left open ended. He told his ex about us, she freaked out, he needed time to get over that. I told him I understood and to clear his head up before anything happened between us. I don't feel like a guy would just out of the blue send a text saying "I want to reconcile." This text seems like more of an icebreaker to me. Link to comment
Firiel Posted April 15, 2008 Share Posted April 15, 2008 "Thanks! I am, and hope you are too!" You appreciate his concern, you are doing 'well,' not just 'ok' (whether or not it's true, it's the impression you want to give), and you don't have hard feelings towards him because you want him to do well too. And exclamation marks equal upbeat and casual. Link to comment
EyesOnThePrize Posted April 15, 2008 Share Posted April 15, 2008 Suzanne - Thanks for your input. I get that you think that sounds like you're sitting there in mourning, and I think that's how you're hearing it...how do you think he'd hear it if he read that? If you want an effective response, I think you might have success if you think about what would be effective with him (I think you know him better than any of us do). If "I am doing alright" is likely to pique his curiosity, then do that. If you think that he'll react by thinking "wow, what a loser", then that's probably not an effective response. I don't think there is a "right" answer here, especially since I don't know this guy at all. I think you have a good response inside you already. Link to comment
Suzanne1281 Posted April 15, 2008 Author Share Posted April 15, 2008 If "I am doing alright" is likely to pique his curiosity, then do that. If you think that he'll react by thinking "wow, what a loser", then that's probably not an effective response. I don't think there is a "right" answer here, especially since I don't know this guy at all. I think you have a good response inside you already. I think I may just say "Thank you. I'm doing allright." LOL, I have no good responses. I can't read guys at all. Thank you for your help. Link to comment
Gratsy Posted April 15, 2008 Share Posted April 15, 2008 I'd just be honest, "if you don't want a relationship with me, just stay away from me, thanks". Link to comment
Suzanne1281 Posted April 15, 2008 Author Share Posted April 15, 2008 I'd just be honest, "if you don't want a relationship with me, just stay away from me, thanks". It's my goal to someday just have the guts to say that to guys that leave me in limbo. Thanks! Link to comment
Gratsy Posted April 15, 2008 Share Posted April 15, 2008 It's my goal to someday just have the guts to say that to guys that leave me in limbo. Thanks! You gain that sort of courage over time when you get sick of seeing yourself anxious. Link to comment
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