Advice on bridging the gap...

[Incognito_Squito]

Hey all - just stumbled accross the site today, figured I'd bring some of my women-woes to the table and see what sort of response I get.

 

In the interest of not supporting blog-spam, I'll give a general synopsis of the situation.

 

So, a couple months ago one of my good friends pointed me towards link removed and I gave it a shot. I didn't really think I would find anybody through it, but it was something fun to do in my time off of work when I wasn't sulking in coffee shops waiting for someone that I would be willing to cast aside my shyness for...

 

Went out with one girl - she was wolf-boring (You know, the kind of girl that you would gnaw your own arm off to escape). Pretty much swore off the site. Then some stuff happened between an ex-girlfriend and I (whom I've never really gotten over) and I needed a distraction to get my mind off of her. I headed back to match, browsed a few new profiles, and did the facebook-equivilant of "poked" a few people.

 

Ended up getting a response from this girl - and we started talking over IM.

 

We both work pretty boring jobs that require us to be in front of a computer all day, so for an entire week we chatted online, about 8 hours a day. Following that, we went out to coffee one night, had a good time and went out for dinner and a movie two nights later.

 

It seems, at this point, that everything is going splendidly.

 

Another week of chatting online passes. I tell her (perhaps stupidly) that I had meant to kiss her the last time we went out, but kind of dropped the ball. She tells me to not worry about it, and we end up going out again.

 

Here is where things get a bit tricky - We talked about it, and she says that she feels that I like her more than she likes me. That's a bit of a blow to take, but at the same time I've had girls tell me that in the past and ended up dating them for years... so I'm slightly discouraged, but not down-and-out completely.

 

We also talked about how slow things need to happen. She's rather weirded out that we met online (which is understandable) and is still "figuring things out."

 

So, I guess my dilemma is this: I like this girl, and I want to keep pursuing things with her, but how do I simultaneously take things slow enough to not rush, ensure that we go out more, and at the same time, not look as if I'm trying too hard?

[Xetra Dax]

Your the hunter she's the prey , keep hunting until you catch her. Don't let yourself be chased out of the field by that one comment. Let's face it,getting chances and oppertunities are rare in life , thereforeeee you need to grab this chance with both hands. It'll be strange for a girl to say this, afteral she's hardly yet knows enough about you to say such a thing, keep showing your good and romantic side, and remember not to give up. (unless she really bluntly says it 3 times for real, that she doesn't want to do anything to do with you) i would keep pursuading her.

[Incognito_Squito]

Your the hunter she's the prey , keep hunting until you catch her. Don't let yourself be chased out of the field by that one comment. Let's face it,getting chances and oppertunities are rare in life , thereforeeee you need to grab this chance with both hands. It'll be strange for a girl to say this, afteral she's hardly yet knows enough about you to say such a thing, keep showing your good and romantic side, and remember not to give up. (unless she really bluntly says it 3 times for real, that she doesn't want to do anything to do with you) i would keep pursuading her.

 

Right, that's the exact problem - it wasn't exactly a clear-cut "I don't want anything to do with you." It was "I'm still figuring things out."

 

I suppose I'll just keep doing what I'm doing - IM'ing every day, and attempting to lock down more dates.

 

I had an ex once tell me that it takes 21 days of doing something to form it into a habit, so I suppose if this continues for that amount of time, she'll be in the habit of being around me constantly, and feel odd when she isn't.

[thejigsup]

I don't know about her comments, but when I like a guy, I kiss him. I met my current bf through an online dating site. The first date, I saw him enter the restaurant and I went right up to him and kissed him. We have been together 9 years now. He was the prey, I was the pursuer and that was fine with both of us. He is a very alpha male and he said he knew he had met his match that night. In other words, FOR GOD'S SAKE, KISS HER ALREADY!

[Incognito_Squito]

FOR GOD'S SAKE, KISS HER ALREADY!

 

If only it were that simple. I have to score date #4 first.

 

Then I have to get over being almost paralyzingly shy. She makes me really nervous.