Sugar-Rush Posted April 11, 2008 Share Posted April 11, 2008 Hi Guys, This is going to sound strange, my partner and I have a great relationship, we've been together nearly 3 years and are getting married in November this year. My Issue is currently our sex life. When we first got together we were having sex probably twice a day, then since we've moved in together after the first year maybe more like 3/4 times a week, which for us is fine i don't know whats normal but to be honest as long as we're happy thats what counts. However when my partner and i got together he used to use porn nearly everyday, not infront of me, but it was no secret and i'm fine with self love and porn as long as its legal porn and nothing horrible (kids, animals,...) However in the past few months my partner has almost completely stopped using porn and masterbating, and this has meant that his stamina in the bedroom has really gone down, our actually sex only last 2-3minutes, now, where before it was 15-20 minutes. I love him dearly...and i don't want to force him into "self love" if he no longer wants to do that (He's 29) i just presummed men always looked at porn for as kong as there were sexually active. I really don't want to offend him but i really want our old satisfying sex life back, i bought him a porn dvd as a joke pressie a while back in the hope he'd use it. But he says he's just not into it anymore and also he feels like it disrespects me....which i don't understand. I know he loves me, there just sexy images on the TV. So i guess what i'm asking is how can i improve our sex life and helf him last longer during the act? Thanks Sugar xxx Link to comment
d24 Posted April 11, 2008 Share Posted April 11, 2008 wow you truly are the antithesis (sp?) of all women making posts about boyfriends and their use of porn within a relationship. I'd say the majority of women posting here wold be absolutely delighted that their bf's thought using porn was disrespectful and stopped completely lol but... I agree 110% that porn can be used as a release, which can make sex last longer and be more satsifying. I describe it to my gf as a can of whipped cream - if you shake it when it's full and pressurised, it's gunna explode. If you take the pressure out it's not going to. Simple enough. You're completely right that him stopping using porn has probably led to his inability to perform as long in bed - as (without being crude) he's going to have a lot more cum stored up and because it's being used less he has less control (i know, not bilogically sound idea here but it makes sense) How to make him start using again? I have no idea whatsoever. Perhaps you could watch it with him? Let him come home and see you turned on with it turned on ;-) etc... talk to him and explain that you don't mind he pleasures himself if it means you get a good romp afterwards. etc... Good luck eh? Link to comment
Antimonic Posted April 11, 2008 Share Posted April 11, 2008 it sounds like something may have happened for him to stop abruptly and change his view entirely. perhaps you should speak with him about this and you can uncover the root of your problem and can work together to fix it. it may take time for the sex to return to how it once was, but as you go along it will just get longer and more satisfying btw you said it lasts 2-3 minutes now, how often are you guys doing it? Link to comment
JadedStar Posted April 11, 2008 Share Posted April 11, 2008 I think the women who are outraged if their guys use porn or masterbate should see this thread. They might rethink it. Other than that I am not sure what to advise... Link to comment
d24 Posted April 11, 2008 Share Posted April 11, 2008 I think the women who are outraged if their guys use porn or masterbate should see this thread. They might rethink it. Other than that I am not sure what to advise... Excellent point, do the women complaining ever think to themselves what would happen if they did stop and their men became more sensitive in bed? I doubt it, else there'd be a lot more women willing to make porn folders for their hubbies (so at least they're pleasuring themselves to their SOs). Link to comment
sourpeach Posted April 11, 2008 Share Posted April 11, 2008 all i see here is that he got his desire from the porn and was just using you as the outlet. no more porn = no more desire = the desire was never for you to begin with. maybe make porn of you for him. whatever he was into.. outfits, sex toys.. whatever. do that and make pics and vids and show them to him. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted April 11, 2008 Share Posted April 11, 2008 Excellent point, do the women complaining ever think to themselves what would happen if they did stop and their men became more sensitive in bed? I doubt it, else there'd be a lot more women willing to make porn folders for their hubbies (so at least they're pleasuring themselves to their SOs). I am not anti female, obviously since i am female, but I am anti whining about this and that because women seem to want a sweet sensitive romantic guy but at the same time if she gets him she is ticked if her clothes are not being ripped off and he taking her like a savage beast. I am not saying all women, or even the OP, yuo just see this all the time. Sadly, some women are never happy. It's the "be careful what you wish for" syndrome. Again, not saying this about the OP since she does not seem to be this type. This is just a sidenote for the ladies who go into hysterics if their guy masterbates. Link to comment
Boughs Posted April 11, 2008 Share Posted April 11, 2008 Just have him masturbate while you are in the room. After he comes, let him have an hour... then jump on him... Link to comment
bulletproof Posted April 11, 2008 Share Posted April 11, 2008 all i see here is that he got his desire from the porn and was just using you as the outlet. no more porn = no more desire = the desire was never for you to begin with. How do you know his desire was never for her? That's not what she's saying. She's saying that he comes faster when he's with her and the sex isn't as long and satisfying. Completely different thing. Link to comment
Sugar-Rush Posted April 11, 2008 Author Share Posted April 11, 2008 Thank you for your post. To the posted that said that my husband to be desire was never for me, i think thats extremely harsh and quite rude. He wants to have sex with me as much if not more now than ever, he hasn't gone off sex because he no longer uses pornography. My issue is just that he now cums much faster! To the poster who asked how many times we have sex ...anything from 2-6 times a week. Also, i'm not anti female. I have friends who are very much against there man using porn. I think it's a truly personal thing. I'm fine with it. I use porn from time to time and i'm more than happy for hubby to be to as well. I'm very secure in our relationship and know that he loves me and desires me and respects me xx Link to comment
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