love brings on despair

[Lucy__lou]

I've met this boy recently, who I am developing feelings for - too fast and out of my control. But he's just so nice, it melts me. I'm putting up a hard front, and trying to dam the flood of feelings he triggers, and I assure you I'm not acting normal around him. Ever since he arrived I've been thrown into a sadness, a depression like I haven't experienced in years. The more I like him, the more my heart feels heavy and aches. I feel devastated. I think I could easily fall for him, but love is terrifying. It sends you up and then you can come so easily crashing down. I am in mourning. Finally, I've met someone so perfect, I've met someone I like, and I'm like I'm at a funeral.

[jettison]

I can understand this feeling. I feel a little bit like that occasionally, about my last ex, and that's why I don't have anything to do with her, even when she reaches out to me. It's just too much. When I take stalk of things, I'm much more content now then I ever was when we were together.

 

I also have a friend who is just like you regarding her new BF. She confesses to have all the same feelings that you do, and she's already dumped him once because of it. I think that the idea of finding your ideal and then losing it is a pretty painful concept for most. Most people would almost rather date people that they care a little bit less about because the pain would also be less.

 

However, it takes a lover's leap and not a lover's hop. The lover's hop is for the truly less then devastated. So, you can spend the rest of your life hopping around from one guy to the next, or you can take the leap, take a real chance, damn all the consequences, and hope to hit the big trifecta. I think it's worth it, but it takes a lot of courage.