Accepting responsibility and I've had it!

[ftlauderdalesun]

So, we've had a tremendous fight. It isn't easy living together and being in 2 businesses together, but we've been so admired for our ability to coexist and work that they wrote a book about us.

 

But today, after being out for a few days, we got to work (in separate cars) and had a major blowout argument. We shouted and ranted and I left and came home.

 

He doesn't seem to be able to accept responsibility for things he does. When I place the ball in his lap and point out something that maybe he shouldn't have taken for granted or even did wrong, instead of accepting responsibilty and getting on to the next point, such as how to avoid these pitfalls in the future, he just puts the responsibility back on me as if I did something wrong.

 

Last week I went to work with a blown disc, came down with the flu and with 5 different meds, I finally stayed home in bed. I did participate in Thanksgiving and did some of the cooking and entertaining, but spent the next day in bed again. So today was the day of the fight.

 

We patched it up, so to speak, but I can't get away from the feelings that I've been let down, disappointed in a trait that I have tried to point out and motivate to change for 31 years, and I've just had enough! I am working 7 days a week at tremendous expense to my health and well being, and for what? Someone who can't accept responsibility for making a mistake, no matter how menial or sever it may be?

 

Important point to understand. I'm not one who holds a grudge and I don't ever allow him to feel like a failure in the end, so he has NO real reason not to trust me. He just doesn't allow us to get to the point where I can make him feel like a real success. It's a terrible trait in a really great person.

 

Help with some kind of a perspective!!!!

Lost in the hurt

[phantpwr]

Hey there.. Ok well First Im a Libra and they see both sides of any story.. That being said.... When a friend/lover does something that makes us get really angry. It's becuase we are seeing what we dont like about ourselvs in that person. Im not saying this is your case. But it would be a good idea to look at it.. Also dont try to get him to take responsability.. It will only anger you more

 

Best of luck sweetie

[frenchie]

Its a terrible trait in a great person but is it one you are prepared to accept? you said yourself youve had enough and I think that 31 years of trying to change it might make me think that its not going to happen!

But if youve been to gether that long and the good outweighs the bad is it really a reason to give it all up? what would happen if you didnt react in any way shape or form what would his response be?! just a thought.

Living to gether and working together must be really stressful do you make sure that you both make time for yourselves regularly? or is it all work, work, work

Instead of blaming try saying it makes me feel...... when you do this takes blame out of the equation and may result in an interesting response.

Dont make any knee jerk responses take time out to think things through consider your life without him and how you would fill it is it what ou really want?

Good Luck