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to whoever the h*ll cares


Soldier4Christ
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to whoever the h*ll cares:

MY LIFE IS A LIVING HELL. my friends dont really care, im not sure, why, i thought they liked me, im not an attractive person, so a g/f is NEVER going to happen, my parents always ride my case about somthing that i didnt do right, nothing is ever good enough for them, i try as hard as i can and nothing does. i dont know what to do, i have no one to turn to and nothing to rely, no parents, not friends and God cant comfort me, he just listens to my problems. somtimes i wonder if hes even listening, if hes even there, i have considered killing myself many times but just slept it off and forgotten about it. i am so sick of this, i am so sick of life itself. please, if u can, help me. i have nothing now.

 

 

Soldier4...Christ?

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your only making things harder by talking like that, it's your self-confidence that is pulling you down, what people say, what they think, how they treat you, shouldn't mater, you are who you are...and if friends are a problem than your just not trying, to make NEW friends, your parents still love you, they just like to drill you, my parents are the same way, you just have to learn to block them out, and move onto what is important to you in life, you have something that makes you happy, cheerful. find that feeling, and capture it inside, when things go bad....your still going to have that happy feeling to hold onto, and nothing can take that away...NOTHING!!!!

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Well, you're not alone in feeling this way, I can assure you. Many people have moments, sometimes long stretches, when they feel that no one cares and life is a big, lonely journey through darkness. Let's break this down into smaller parts that you can more easily chew, because when you try to take on all this stuff at once, the weight is too much for anyone to bear:

 

Parents

No doubt, your parents love you. Apparently, however, they are driven perfectionists. Recognize that this comes from their OWN feelings of inadequacy, and there's no way they will let their son become equally inadequate. No, all they can accept is someone who completes them, and corrects the mistakes they make in their life. Talking about this with them will do little good, because you are their son and they are not likely to really value your opinion. But, keep this knowledge to yourself, and in your own relations in life, including WITH YOURSELF, don't be the critic. Be positive and encouraging, and emphasize the good. If your parents ride you too hard, even when you do your best, talk to a teacher or someone like that about it, and maybe the teacher can have a little chat with them. This kind of criticism is destructive and not healthy, even though it's not meant to harm you.

 

Friends

If that's truly how they feel...they don't care, well you're simply learning that they are not real friends, or at least, they are casual friends. ONe thing I've learned to do is categorize friends. It's rare when you have a TRUE friend, one you can count on for the rest of your life. You're lucky is you get a handful of these ever, and be thankful when you do. Another kind of friend is a school or work friend. You can share good times, but when the school or job changes, you lose touch. They are still valuable to have, and help you grow socially and as a person. Third is a casual friend/acquaintance. You have something narrow in common, see them in certain settings, and never really hang out. The point is that if you think of categories, whatever they might be, it helps set realistic expectations. Truth is, most people DON'T care about you, because they care about THEMSELVES. It's not necessarily that they think ill of you. Think about it this way. How many people do you worry about every day? (By the way, by caring and worrying about other people, you take the focus off yourself, and that can be very healthy as long as you don't then start living for other people).

 

You

You mentioned that you feel unattractive. There are some distinctions to be made here. Are you saying you are hopelessly unattractive, or have you not really worked at it to make yourself more attractive? Even someone who might seem unattractive can with exercise, good grooming, confidence, etc. become suddenly very attractive. Even people who are considered attractive might work hard to become MORE attractive. So, are you driving yourself down without really giving yourself a chance? Second thought is that, let's say you take great care of yourself and GOd did not bless you with movie star looks. So what? Aren't there girls out there in the same boat? Are you aiming for the most attractive girls, and making the less attractive ones feel just as unloved as you do? If so, it's time to start judging people, including yourself, on more than looks alone.

 

I hope all this helps. Believe me, I understand how someone can get into a self-punishing rut, but it's your attitude, more than anything else, that will pull you out of it. Good luck!!

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I am going through the same thing right now. I have been going through this since freshman year of high school (I am currently a senior). My mom is on my back 24/7 and I have learned over time to slowly cope with it. She is a hell breaker, and finally I realized that you gotta take it easy. don't get down on the little things. Tell you what I never dated until this year. And to tell you the truth, it doesn't really matter. I remember when I wanted to love someone, but no one out there was there to love, so i turned to drugs and alcohol. I was heavy into drugs throughout Sophomore and Junior year. I am now very messed up because of these drugs... but I will tell you what, I have never been through such bad times in my life. So learn that your parents are pushing, but they are pushing for love. Don't turn to the bad stuff. Find new friends, I can't stress this enough. Easy way to make new friends is to play a sport. When I was at loss of friends I thought about suicide. There were times when I had my bottle and tons of pills in my hand. I have bought rope and taught myself how to make a noose. I have come as close to as stand with it around my neck. But now I am glad I am alive. Things look up later. Things may be taking its toll on your life but... I guerentee there are alot of people in your grade that are going through the same stuff. I am going to say to you ignore girls. Girls can be jerks. they just toy with you, and make you their slave. So to tell you the truth my friend, just live out the good times. Find things you like doing. Play video games, go bowling with friends, go see movies.. just stay active. Play alot of sports, they boost something in your body (can't remember the name) that spurts your emotional levels. It helps out. Go running. I run on the beach every weekend it gets alot out of me. Clears my head. Crying is prolly the best thing. Cry yourself to sleep, think about what you have. Think about what you want, don't think about what you don't have, it only hurts more. Sure thinking about what you don't have makes you feel better through your tears, but I would say that belittles yourself. I have been through your times, and am about to hit that time too, my girlfriend and I are falling apart... I am preparing myself for it. I know it is what is coming so I think of the best of times that I have had, and hold onto them. Gotta remember what is most important.

 

This is For Another person out there.

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I can assure you that beauty comes from the heart. Your heart is hurting so when you look in the mirror you don't like what you see.

I promise you that if you look at the cross and give your heart to Christ, and you love Christ, or at least LOVE SOMETHING, you will be okay.

 

What do you love? Until you love something bigger than you, you will only focus on your own problems. Love something bigger than you and grow.

 

I suggest you consider Christ, but if not, then love something positive.

 

Okay? Hang in there. I've been in your shoes. It does get better, but you have to make the change. No one will ever do it for you. That's a simple fact.

 

Good luck.

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hey there Soldier4Christ

 

sorry to hear about what your going through right now. everyone else who has replied have laid most of it out right, just telling you your not the only one. im gonna try and keep it simple, not prettying anything up. but its not ugly, its all just a ditch in the road

 

as with most people, i have also gone through this stage many times. i find it especially hard to turn to anyone when it does happen, because i find it so hard to explain, and that speaking about it doesnt give any accuracy to what its like actually living it. that is why i LOVE this place. i have this tendency to write most of my problems down when i get too out of control. mostly writing, but now since i found this site, im typing it.

 

listen, i know this aint easy. its not meant to be. its just one of those many tests lifes dishes out at you. but you got to hang in there. i find when your in that stage, even the smallest ditch can drive you to tears. then you start to add them all up, which just makes things worse. just keep a clear mind and try not to think too negative, it will always happen, but just keep an eye on it. you'll be ok, it'll pass, just stick it out, it'll make you a better person for it.

 

you hang in there, and goodluck. take care of yourself

 

*+*Materia_Goddess*+*

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Hey

 

I was in the same position just about yesterday, and the truth is, everyone tried 2 help, I wouldn't listen and in the end, I came to my own conclusion and everyone was like "that's what i've been tryin 2 tell u". What I'm saying is, its better to work this out by urself. Sorry.

 

And God is always there, sometimes, we just loose a bit of faith in him that's all.

 

Happy Heb

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I woke up this morning feeling exactly like you do. I had cried myself to sleep last night after making up my mind to get things straightened out this week so I could go down by the creek and put a bullet in my head. The first thing I did this morning is say to my self I will get online and do a search and if the first thing is that pops up is someone who feels like me then I will believe you are listening,God. I have felt like I can't do anything right and nobody really loves, cares or understands me so I know what you are going through. It hurts so bad that you feel like you can't breath and your chest is being ripped out. I feel like everyone around me is just acting like they care because they are supposed to. When I read what you wrote I realized it is just our perception of the moment. We are projecting our feelings onto them. It hurts to feel unloved or uncared for but they do care and they do love you. AND there is always someone out there for everyone they just don't alweays happen along when we need them. I hope you email me back or post a message in reply. You just saved my life and I have to say Thank You with All My Heart. I feel like my 13 year old son will have his mother for along time to come. . You will be what I give thanks for this year email removed

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