Do these feelings EVER leave??

[Michelle2234]

Hey Everyone,

 

I've been broken up with my long-time boyfriend for a few months now, so yes things are getting easier...THANK GOD! Anyway, I had to end it because he just started being such a jerk for no reason at all, turning me into a jerk too, just to defend myself, and I didn't like that.

 

So we'd still kind of been seeing each other for a while, we'd probably get together once a week just to "catch-up"...all the while still understanding that it was okay that we were dating other people. Well then he started to say we'd meet this day, but always switch it to another day, and then any time we had plans the bottom always fell out, so I had to end it for good. He was just playing games with me and feeding off my pain because through everything I still loved him with my all.

 

Now I'm dealing with the sad emotions of remembering the first several months we were together, how everything was perfect, why couldn't it just stay that way? Why did he have to do the things he did? I'm holding on tight to who I thought he was...but he really wasn't that person at all. That person I fell in love with, the person who I swore would never hurt me went away, but he still looks the same, so it's really hard to let go of him.

 

It just really sucks not knowing how he feels. I want him to be sorry. I want him to miss me. I want him to find someone who won't be as good to him as I was. I want him to find people who won't put up with all the crap that I did. More than anything, I want him to know he lost something good. Is this normal? Am I just seeking some sort of absolution or un-needed attention?

 

I just wish I could erase every good thing we had together so all I could remember is the crappy him. The new him I want out of my life for good, he's such a jerk I wouldn't even converse with a person like that...but the old him is still there in my mind, still there smiling at me, reading out to me from old cards, telling me how now we can start the life he'd always dreamed of together...do I have to treat this situation as a death? He's dead and gone and never coming back? I miss the old him so much, it hurts.

[Gilgamesh]

Hello Michelle.

 

You seem to have a pretty good grasp on the situation, and the way you feel is the way we all feel under those circumstances.

 

We all want to hold on to that dream, of who they were or thought they were. we want that magic back.

 

Such a beautiful thing to be tossed away by them.

 

But breaking contact you know is for the best, you were still holding on to that dream, you felt that if he was near, it could come true agian, or at least remind you of those times. but it is over.

 

 

It does get easier, someday you will find someone that will love you the way you love them. you will find your match. and you wont look back.

[frenchie]

Michelle I think youre doing so well have been through this well still am truth be told, I also had great difficulty in putting the good bits in a box and taking them out and remembering them with great affection, it is difficult when people go on to treat you badly however corny but true time is a great healer I am now a 13 whole months down the line also tried the being friends bit but rapidly came to the conclusion that I dont have friends who lie to me,let me down and generally dont respect me!

At the end of the day its his loss he lost you!

I can now look back at the good times and there were a lot of fantastic times, in an almost nostalgic way and am safe in the knowledge that having experienced that am more than capable of doing it again hopefully next time with someone who can sustain it!

Be positive youve done so well up until now anything is possible!