Is she being friendly or flirty?

[Shighboy]

I actually have an ongoing post about this, but things have changed from the original post, and I know that a lot of people read the original post and respond and don't actually read all the way through.

 

Anyway, I'm single now, just recently out of a long relationship. There's a girl I'm kinda interested in at this point. To be honest, I kinda wish I wasn't since it'd be nice to be single for a while, but it's not very reasonable to just ignore an attraction to someone.

 

I'm in a class with this girl towards the end of the day. I have a class right before it while she's just on a break. She just recently started meeting me outside my class, and then we walk together accross campus to our next class. We have a while to talk, and we typically just talk about random things about school. Over time we've obviously progressed from "nice day today" and "how was class" and "how much HW do you have" to just random stories about things from the past, or just anything else we decide to talk about. Through those conversations, she's brought up a few times her "ex" which has led me to believe she's single. She also just mentioned something about a friend of hers trying to hook her up with some creepy guy that she had no interest in, which pretty much ended any guessing on whether she was single or not.

 

The last time, when we typically would part ways, we stayed and just talked for another 10 minutes or so about more random things. At the end she decided to give me her phone number. At the time, I really just assumed it was in case she wasn't gonna be around, so she'd let me know not to look for her. I gave her my number as well, and then we parted ways.

 

Is there really anything for me to think of this, or is this just a normal situation of a friendly person being friendly? I'm far too much of a coward to just be forward with her and ask, so I need some suggestions on things I could say to find out if there are any feelings she has for me.

 

So two questions. First off, do I have reason to think she may have some sort of attraction towards me, and second, being the coward that I am, how do I go about finding out how she feels about me?

[Lucy__lou]

In my opinion, there should be no urgent need for you to know if she fancies you or not. Why not just keep being friendly, and see if you two can hang out some more outside of school. Maybe invite her to do something. Until you're on hanging out as friends terms, it's really premature to be wanting to confirm attraction.

 

(others I'm sure will see differently. But just my 2c.) At this point, all we can confirm is that she likes talking to you, and she obviously doesn't find you creepy, cause she gave you her number. So it's all going quite nicely by the sounds of it.

[knightNshiningarmor]

ya i guess id have to differ on advice...friend zone can be a tough place to escape from...first of all it sounds like this is being a little more then friendly imo...she seems to be going a fair amount out of her way to either wait for your or meet up with you to randomly be looking for a friend. But to be honest i dont think there is any easy way around it i think your gonna have to bite the bullet and either tell her..hey i think i like you or maybe start smaller and just ask her out somewhere where its just the two of you.

[rs.dallaire]

Either she truly wants to be your friend either she's interested in more. If she gave you her phone number out of the blue, then I think you might have something there.

 

I'm against the "take your time and get to know her as a friend" idea. That will take you nowhere (unless you want to keep her as a friend of course).

[Shighboy]

Both good advice on the first two posts. I can see valid reasons to go both ways. Because of me being the reserved person I am, I think that just taking things slowly and not approach things any further than the friendly level at this point might be best suited for me and this situation.

 

Since it's been years that I've been in a situation like this, I can't really say I know too much about the "friend zone" and problems it can later create (besides what ya see in the movies

[Shighboy]

I want to make sure I'm not portraying things here the wrong way. When she gave me her number, it was when we were talking about meeting so we could go to our next class together. It wasn't just completely random. To me, in the context of the situation, it seemed like she was giving me her number in case I wasn't gonna be around so she didn't wait for me, or vice versa. I don't want to make it seem like she looked at me, batted her eyes, and in a sexy voice gave me her phone number and said "call me", lol.

[Shighboy]

No more suggestions?

[JonathanJonathan]

Based on my subjective view on this, she may be interested in you as a friend, and nothing more. The fact that she mentioned her "ex" is friend zone-worthy conversation. I know that whenever I talk to someone about their ex, I feel as if they are venting and wanting opinions on that subject.

 

However, I do not think that attraction is totally out of the question. She apparently enjoys your company and conversation. I don't really like to over-analyze, but the fact that she mentioned that she was disinterested in the "creepy guy" may be a sign of her contrasting him with you, sending signs indirectly that she's interested by you. Sure it's a stretch, but anything is possible.

 

As for the action plan, the scenario looks good. Invite her to eat after class or grab a coffee. If it's a green light, I would treat it somewhat as the interview (aka first date). Of course, don't come on too strong, but see if you could touch on subjects of music, movies, etc. It should come off subtly as a sign of interest.

[Shighboy]

Can't believe I actually found this post. Or remembered my login. This was almost a decade ago! Where has the time gone?

 

I had to bump this and post a quick follow up. Sharing from my phone in bed, so I'll be short, contrary to my previous posts.

 

Fortunately for me, the attraction was mutual. We started dating a few weeks after my last post in early 08' and actually got married a couple years later!

 

We have been married for 7 years now and have two lovely girls.