BeStrongBeHappy Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 i'm going to add a third category... accomplished cheaters who cheat with LOTS of different people (as in, someone who cheats with multiple people behind your back, people you know, plus perfect strangers). then you feel really stupid like you were a fool not to recognize what the person was about... Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 i'm going to add a third category... accomplished cheaters who cheat with LOTS of different people (as in, someone who cheats with multiple people behind your back, people you know, plus perfect strangers). then you feel really stupid like you were a fool not to recognize what the person was about... You just summed up my entire 12 year marriage in your post... Link to comment
bunny2007 Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 i'm going to add a third category... accomplished cheaters who cheat with LOTS of different people (as in, someone who cheats with multiple people behind your back, people you know, plus perfect strangers). then you feel really stupid like you were a fool not to recognize what the person was about... Thats me the stupid one definitely Link to comment
ryan123 Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 It'd hurt either way just as hard. I think the healing process would be slower if you knew the person. That said, im friends now with the person my ex cheated on me with. We were only acquintances beforehand. Link to comment
Iceman26 Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 Worse if it is someone you know. The stranger likely doesn't know the cheater is in a relationship, while the person you know does. That hurts that much more I think. Link to comment
PixelPusher Posted January 25, 2008 Share Posted January 25, 2008 Both times my X cheated on me it was with guys I knew and considered friends (and one was my boss). I know you're asking for a choice, but I honestly wouldn't be able to tell the difference... the pain would be the exact same for me. For me, it's not about the person who she did it WITH, it's the fact that she did it... the person is irrelevant. Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted January 25, 2008 Share Posted January 25, 2008 Both times my X cheated on me it was with guys I knew and considered friends (and one was my boss). I know you're asking for a choice, but I honestly wouldn't be able to tell the difference... the pain would be the exact same for me. For me, it's not about the person who she did it WITH, it's the fact that she did it... the person is irrelevant. Thanks for posting this...because like I said in my previous post...my husband cheated with someone I knew, and with people who HE didn't even know... But, to me, it wouldn't have mattered...he promised me forever...not anybody else... Link to comment
tangi39 Posted January 25, 2008 Share Posted January 25, 2008 For me, worse BY FAR with someone I knew. Because I would drive myself crazy thinking about all the qualities of that person- every conversation we had or they had had with my spouse, everytime I saw them or my husband and all the little details about her. Obviously, I wouldn't be happy either way, but knowing the person would be much harder to take. Link to comment
violingirl Posted January 27, 2008 Share Posted January 27, 2008 Okay, so I know cheating is cheating but I am curious to know which would make you feel worse. I know it all hurts the same ... im just curious to get your view on this Again, I know cheating is cheating and it hurts either way but the question at hand is ... Would you feel worse if your SO cheated on you with someone you know (someone you know personally or someone you just know of) or a perfect stranger? I think it would hurt me more to know or know of the person. What do you think? I KNOW IT HURTS EITHER WAY OK! I think that it's worse when it involves someone you know. In my case, the woman my ex left me for (his "friend"/ex-girlfriend) hung out with us numerous times when we were together. She even told me that she completely supported our relationship and hoped that I would marry him one day. She said that she thought that I was great for him. She also said that she never wanted to get back together with him (they had dated for 6 months about 13 years before I started dating him - so they had been only friends for a long time). Based on what I knew about her (and from spending time with her) and her supposed "support" of our relationship, I didn't feel that she posed any threat to our relationship. Then, towards the end of our relationship, he started spending more time with her, but always on the pretense of helping her out (home repairs, etc.), and started confiding to her about our relationship. Then,BOOM!, before I knew it he suddenly dumped me, lied to me about why he dumped me (said there was no one else), but I eventually found out that he had left me for her (and he eventually confessed after many months). Much later, I also found out that he had cheated on me with another ex-girlfriend of his towards the end of our relationship (of course, he didn't consider what he did "cheating" - he said that they "only made out.") Believe me, 3 years later, it still stings to think about all that was going on behind my back when I thought that my ex loved me. Link to comment
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