my way of thinking is what goes in must come out...

[Julay]

Hi,

 

I'm Julie (gr.10) and since gr.8 i've been bullimic and anorexic. I find it easier oppening up to someone i don't even know and will never meet rather then someone i do know and can see face to face.

 

I first had an eating disorder not because of familly problems, depression or annything the specialiste say but to be thin. I wanted to look beautiful in every way possible and still have the same mentallity. I've heard all the reasons why not to do it and what can happen do to continues purging but it honnestly doesn't bother me. I'm 5"2 1/2 and way between 98 to 104lbs.

 

I've been to counselors at school but hate it so much. I ever go there on ym free will but get sent by teachers who "accidently" walk in the bathroom during class after giving me permission to go. Luckely my parents or familly have never found out but my best friend who didn't know what to do annymore went to her mother for advice and now i fee uncomfortable at er house. I've told her i stoppped so manny times and have but after a few days i go back to my old way of life all over again.... help.... i know i should stop but know what the results will be if i do and don't want to. I have suffers manny side affects like constant passing out, irritated throat and lossing hair, my teeth aren't the best and others.

 

What do i do? ...................

[sisterlynch]

Your parents must notice that you are getting thinner and aren't saying anything to you. What kinds of problems might they be worrying about that would keep them from noticing you? Are they sheltered or self-centered? Frightened of opening up a can of worms? Afraid of feeling some new emotion? Maybe they are so controling or depressed that they can't see the change in you?

 

I know that hurts! It hurts that your parents don't seem to care or notice you.

 

Do you eat in front of them? How is it the teachers at school have seen you throw up and they haven't told your parents?? They know on some level, they are just waiting for it to stop on its own, what do you think the likelihood of that happening is? That you will all of a sudden like food again and start eating again?

 

Both you and your parents are living in a state of fantacy. Do you agree with this, so far?

 

How can you tell them? 5'2" 100lbs is that in the normal range? The biggest problem associated with being small is osteoperosis. The fainting and all is a side effect, but it will go away, once you start eating. What do you eat anyway? Pasta? Why not try fruit and meat? Can you eat those?

[in_the_mirror]

there are ways a being skinny and thin and still be able to eat. you can eat healthy foods and excersice. you must not mind the pain that much so i would think the excersizing wouldn't bother that much. i mean you don't have to tell everyone but maybe someone that could just watch and help maybe go on the diet with you. you don't have to start with a lot of food. like maybe just start with baggies of some fruit and veges. bottle of water too. and then progressivly work your way up.

[The Morrigan]

link removed

 

If you don't want to, or don't feel comfortable talking to anyone close to you, try something like this online support group/board/community - at the least, it'll give you a group of people you can freely talk to who will understand exactly where you're coming from, and how difficult it is to control or change something when you really don't want to change it.

 

I'm sure there's others, that one seemed to be one of the more comprehensive, and better set up ones though.

 

You already know it can be a problem, but I'm figuring right now the perceived benefit is just outweighing any of the side effects to you, and it's more the stigma and embarrassment that's making you uncomfortable. Until you can really talk to someone openly, it'll be hard to deal with any other aspects of it, so at least take the first step and go somewhere with plenty of information, and also where you won't feel like you're being judged or found lacking. I hope from there you'll find you'd rather tackle the problem of it being a disorder, and wish you luck, it won't be easy, but with courage and support, you'll get there. Best of luck to you!

[Julay]

 

 

 

 

 

It's not my parents fault! i don't want them to know, they're not self centered or n-e thing you mentionned trust me i love them verrry much and i feel the same from them.

 

I don't know i always figured since i have naturally blonde hair blue eyes guys had to go head over heals for me but i nodiced that when you weigh 115 at 5"2 1/2 that obviously way to big. I feel stupid. I feel like some stupid girl who tries to take the easy way out of her problems, i feel cheep. Plus everyone always critisises those who have an eating disorder, for instance they see someone really beautiful and skinny and automaticly say eww shes annorexic, how do u want me to explain myself to those people in the future. No one would understand me. Probably not even you, i think u have to be like me to know how i feel and how no one understands that it's not something i want it just happens before i realise it happened. You probably think i'm stupid....

[Jax Miggen]

The way i see it you are already on your way to recovery you took a huge step asking a lot of strangers to help you with what you know is a problem. What you really need to do is just find a time in the next week and tell you parents. I don't know what you feel when you think about telling them but if it's fear then don't worry about it. I have had a lot of difficulties in life too. My parents have sent me to one shrink after the next but they never quit. Please atleast try and seek help outside of a bunch of strangers.

Jax

[The Morrigan]

link removed

 

there's a height/weight chart on there for ideal body weights, and 115 is WELL within the range.

 

It's hard to keep in mind, but anorexia and bulemia don't just affect your body, but give you a distorted perception of yourself; what other people will see as ideal or thin, you're still going to see as "too big."

 

You're not stupid, and it's not a conscious decision on your part, not after you're already in the middle of it. You'd be surprised just HOW common it is to find other people who have similar issues - while anorexia in itself is something like a 1% risk - bulimia is more like 10-20% - so if you see 10 girls at school, one or two of them either have had to deal with it, or will, during their teenage years. All I'm saying by that, is while the situations are all unique - it by no means makes you a freak, or means you should be ashamed of yourself. Would you be ashamed of having diabetes, or the flu? You don't need to be ashamed of this either, and anyone who would ty to make you feel like you should is just being ignorant, or running scared to avoid dealing with it.

 

Seriously, you're taking a big step already coming here for help - don't stop here, reach out til you find someone who can really help and who will understand what you're dealing with, you deserve to feel good about yourself, so don't give up on you.