How do i find myself?

[frail]

And what does that actually mean to "Find yourself". Have you found yourself? How did you do it? I need help, i feel so empty, disinterested in life, and out of touch with my own self.

[sandyv]

Hey girl, I think the phrase "finding yourself" is a bunch of bunk truly.

 

 

There is no need to go out on a mission to find who you are, you learn these things through life experiences...... so IMHO it just doesn't work that way....

 

It does take time to know what you truly want, but you really don't have to go looking for it either.

 

Take care

 

xxx

 

Sandy

[Weeblie]

Well for me, I think finding yourself is just getting to know yourself. Sort of like Julia Roberts in Runaway Bride...you know, when she cooked a bunch of eggs in different ways to figure out how she liked them.

 

Perhaps you feel empty and disinterested because you haven't spent time doing things that you like. Maybe you haven't figured out what it is that you like? Maybe you've spent too much time pleasing others and haven't spent any time on yourself? (that last one I'm super guilty of)

 

I know that when I was feeling kind of empty and uninspired, I'd do things to fill up time. I'd ask myself, well what do you feel like doing? And even if it was something stupid, like go get a donut, I'd go and do it. It kind of led me to bigger things like taking dance lessons or searching for a new job because all of a sudden I started to realize what I really didn't like.

[Amore]

I happen to agree completely with Sandy. In fact, a bunch of my girl friends who live in my dorm were just discussing how to "find yourself," and I stand firm by the belief that finding oneself is not a mission where you can achieve success by following a set of steps.

 

Like Sandy said, it can take a lifetime to discover what you truly want, but you can't achieve that by searching for it.

 

The feeling of emptiness -- it hits everyone. I myself am feeling a bit empty and "out of touch with myself," but the feeling will pass. As long as you're keeping busy, something with come along in due time that will revitalize that spark in life.

 

Best of luck!

[Weeblie]

Like Sandy said, it can take a lifetime to discover what you truly want, but you can't achieve that by searching for it.

 

The feeling of emptiness -- it hits everyone. I myself am feeling a bit empty and "out of touch with myself," but the feeling will pass. As long as you're keeping busy, something with come along in due time that will revitalize that spark in life.

 

I agree that everyone gets hit with the empty feeling every once in awhile. But to suppress it by keeping busy isn't really helpful. It's just burying the problem and one day it'll come back again even worse. To be passive and just hope that something will come along and make things better seems somewhat dangerous to me. Wouldn't it be more helpful to create that fulfillment for yourself? Isn't it silly to leave something so important to chance?

[lilypadgirl]

If by "searching for it" you mean just getting up one day and saying I'm going to think about myself and analyze me, then I agree, that's not the way to do it. It happens when you discover things about yourself over life experiences.

 

I also agree with weeblie if by "searching for it", you're going to be actively trying things out to see what interests you and what you're good at doing. You can't just introspect and say oh that seems to be me. You have to go and try and experience!

 

Adding new experiences is the way to figuring out what works and what doesn't work for you.

[Amore]

I agree that everyone gets hit with the empty feeling every once in awhile. But to suppress it by keeping busy isn't really helpful. It's just burying the problem and one day it'll come back again even worse.

 

What I meant by keeping busy is exactly what you're saying, to try many different activities as opposed to sitting down and pondering what would fulfill you.

 

Sorry I didn't make that clear

[Weeblie]

What I meant by keeping busy is exactly what you're saying, to try many different activities as opposed to sitting down and pondering what would fulfill you.

 

Sorry I didn't make that clear

 

Oops!

 

Well then I agree with you totally.

 

[kevinm]

Ummm, I think "finding yourself" is a process... one that can take a lifetime, but some people find out sooner than others what makes themselves tick. In short for me it's been a matter of both trying new things, but also eliminating aspects of my life that no longer felt right. Most recently that's been "going green" for me. Trying to be a more responsible citizen of the earth and live a more sustainable life. In my efforts to go green I've also started to eat a whole lot better and incorporate more organic foods into my diet. Hence I've been eliminating the bad (fast foods) and replacing with the good (organics). Whatever your thing is, realize it won't happen overnight, but as my grandfather used to say "Praying won't put bread on the table." You can't hope for something to happen, you've gotta get out there and make it happen!

 

-Kevin

[Haven]

You could try keeping a daily journal.. it's like having a conversation with yourself, if you do it properly. Like, it's not a record of what you did during the day. You should write down what you're feeling/thinking, without censoring yourself. Reading past journal entries can also help (after you start writing them), because then it's like reading what another person wrote. (That's what it feels like to me, anyway.) I definitely am "in touch" with myself a lot better now than I used to be.

[talo]

...what does that actually mean to "Find yourself". Have you found yourself? How did you do it? I need help, i feel so empty, disinterested in life, and out of touch with my own self.

Your emptiness is not really empty; it is full of your own disinterest, your own attitude, your own thought, your own avoidance of feeling. And this gives emptiness a negative flavour.

 

You are not really out of touch with your own self, it is just that you are trying to avoid relating to your own feeling. Fully feeling what is currently being felt is being your own self. Finding your self is not losing your self in thought.

 

With best wishes,