There is no such thing as love

[vfunkera]

no such thing as love its just people tolerating one another love is not a true emotion its fabricated by insecure people

 

do u agree with this quote? its really playing with my head.

 

In reference to the quote, why are confident people more likely to cheat? When they aint in love they usually cheat, but when they feel that they cant do better then they already have, then they claim they're in love, and so stick to the one. Because they're insecure and fear that they might lose them? Why do shy insecure people usually cling on to what they have quickly and call it love?

 

thank you to everyone who expresses their opinion here.

[Nifty_Swifty1]

Well, I know I don't see love like most people (a justification for lustful infatuations), but I don't see love as emotion to begin with. It's a choice, a choice that brings on emotions, but a choice nonetheless. If love is an emotion then it can come and go on a whim, but by definition love never fails so how can it be an emotion.

 

As for why do "confident" people cheat and "insecure" people cling to what they have?

 

There confidence is in the fact that they can have everything, and noone matters but them. If they can have what ever they want, and don't worry about anyone else then what's the problem with cheating right? How need to be committed anyway? They have no loyalty.

 

The insecure people cling for just the opposite reason. They value what they have and fear that if that person doesn't love them, then noone else will.

[faeriechyld]

It's a choice, a choice that brings on emotions, but a choice nonetheless. If love is an emotion then it can come and go on a whim, but by definition love never fails so how can it be an emotion.

 

I agree with this. I also agree that once you are "in love" with someone, you never stop loving them, but you move on with your life because sometimes love is just not enough. If other issues in the relationship put too much strain on the relationship, no matter how much a person may love someone, they have to let them go. And love is not an emotion, but it can cause emotions.

 

I can see the point about more confident people wanting to cheat, but have you ever thought that they just seem more confident? I think cheating is a form of insecurity, like a person has to prove to themselves that more than one person wants them for them to be whole. That is, however, just my take on it.

 

Truth be known, if someone is insecure in themselves, then they are not ready for love. But they cling to anyone willing to try and love them because they need the affection. They can't love themselves, so they do themselves the worst mistake and try to find love outside. Truth is, they'll never be satisfied because self-love is the greatest love of all.

 

I believe that love exists, but not in the way most people believe. As I said earlier, love doesn't fade, but relationships cannot survive on love alone. I see many posts here that state "but I loved her so much." It's hard to explain to that person that while their ex may have loved them deeply too, there were other problems in the relationship. I also don't believe in the term "soul mates" because of religious beliefs, however, I do believe in life long mates. I also believe that sometimes even when it seems love is gone, that it is really just a test to show how strong the love really was. That idea was evident to me when my parents split up, but then my dad sat by my mom's side until the moment she passed on. That's true love right there.

 

That's my take on your post at least. Interesting topic.

[Kodos]

True love is not a choice. It exists between a mother and a child without choice, so it can exist otherwise.

The reason that people question this is because there are so many times when people abuse the word "love." This is true in the case of the cheater and in the case of the insecure person. Neither is in love to begin with.

That does not mean that it doesn't exist at all. It's just that people who are truly in love don't need to use it as an excuse. They know it and don't need to flaunt it to prove something.

Anyone who boasts that love does not exist has no idea what love is, and is expressing their own insecurity.

[Nifty_Swifty1]

The love between a mother and child is still a choice. As an extream example I have a friend taking care of a 2 year old little girl becouls the mother dosn't care about the child one way or the other. My friend has chosen to love that little girl in the same way a mother is supose to for most all of that girs life, but the little girls real mother has also chosen not to love that little girl. The love between any two people is a choice... many times easer than others though.

[neva_black_n_white]

hey.

 

i would have to say that i disagree with the aspect of not having ''love'' or not being in it, and i do believe that it was to say

true love cannot be chosen.

i guess its just a peronal opinion towards me and the way i am. i dont think its easy to find, i think that it can be both a negative and positive thing, and when you have it i dont really feel you can loose it.

 

however i do agree with the statement. which is possibly a contradiction but what ifeel is that now and in our day the word ''love'' has been used too often, too easily, and to get in and out of different circumstances. i think it can be understated and used against some things.

 

like when i hear one of my friends say that she is with two or three at the minute and she loves them all. how can you really love more than one person? it is possible but mabye i dont understand it becuase ive never encountered it. everyones different in what they see and think of things.

 

hope this helps.

kel

[MarkUK]

I used to wonder whether love really existed or even that I was obviously strange and incapable of falling in love. Then a few years back, I met someone and experienced emotions that I never felt before. The relationship didn't work out - she didn't treat me too well, which makes this seem even stranger - yet when I think of her good points, I still get the same feelings inside. Hopefully, one day I'll meet someone else and we will both fall in love - a stronger and more in-depth love that I felt with my ex-girlfriend. There had been other girlfriends previously, but neither of us fell in love with the other.

 

I agree with "neva_black_n_white" in that the word "love" is used far too often and trivialised, mainly by men after a few drinks on a Saturday night. It takes time to fall in love.

[lokagirla]

people that cheat are super insecure! since they cant confront their partner when it comes to problems in relationships they go and look in all the wrong places. they have no trust in their partner and consequently theyre partner looses the trust in them. they dont really know what they want or feel.

 

love is a decision... you do tolerate that person but you don't cling to that person either. all in excess is wrong. you have to have a balance. be confident but not arrogant, be supportive, not clingy. negative repercusions come from both arrogance and clinginess.

 

love causes emotions. it's human nature... it's like smiling, getting angry... anything. love always involves a little lust, but it is a more compromising thing. you agree to loosing a little independence also. so love is not something you jump at all at once... it takes time and you can call it whatever you want in the end. it's like freaking god... some people even call it that. personally, im atheist, but i do believe in love... what is it? it's what makes us humane. it makes us see people like we are... see, understand, love others like we love ourselves... give them priviledges we would give ourselves... love creates social conscience. you select one out of the 'others' to share dreams and a future with. that is romantic love right there cause you get to know that person deep down... you share your whole life with that person.

[Princess777]

Greetings,

This is an interesting topic. I personally think that love is something that has many meanings but that most of us have not experienced yet so we cannot possibly fathom what it is. (Sometimes I still think I may not ever have experienced it, but sometimes I think I have) I also think that in a way, it is the meaning of life. For instance, all of the things that previous posters have said can be true in many different circumstances, however, how many people do you know who are righteous enough to be able to REALLY love someone the correct way, i.e. no jealousy, no judging, etc, and really accept someone for who they are no matter what differences they have? We all get irritated by our partners now and then.... does that mean we are not really in love? I honestly don't know. If this is the case and all of the factors talked about here must occur before one is truly in love then I doubt any of us really know what it is, or worse yet, how to love someone. As one poster mentioned, I agree that it is closely related to "God".... an unreachable, intangible, unknown thing that people will always strive to understand. Good luck to all of us.

[Nameless Face]

It can exist. I never chose to be in love, but i just fell for it though i tried everything in my power to stop it, and now it's gone, but i don't regret for having loved and lost. I know that i'm getting over him now, but that doesn't mean that i don't care about him anymore. I want him to be my friend, and i hope he feels the same way. I just pray that he'll be my friend, and be comfortable with it. Well, even though he broke my heart, my spirit and my mind, i didn't hate him, and i know that it's what love can do, and right now, i still want what's best for him, though i hope we would stay as friends.

[vfunkera]

I personally think that love is something that has many meanings but that most of us have not experienced yet so we cannot possibly fathom what it is

 

i have thought deeply about the quote, and after reading all the posts i have to agree with what princess777 said. or maybe i am already 'in love' i.e. with my parents? if what everyone is saying is true, then i dont believe that the majority of the people in this world -including me- have experienced 'real' love. the kind of love i have known is not love, its insecurity. whatever type of insecurity it is, its still insecurity. i didnt believe it at first after reading that quote, but the more i think about it, the more it makes sense.

 

i would have thought confident people were usually the secure ones. the ones that cheat. the ones that really dont treat their partners as well as they can, because they know that there will be another one round the corner. they are secure, and thereforeeee, they have no problems in what they do. and if u have this attitude, then i would not call it love for the partner, would you? when they feel that the partner they are with now cannot be replaced (because the partner has in some way shown themselves as the perfect match e.g. maybe they have shown they are just as secure), then they will feel insecure, and dedicate to this person, and in turn call it 'love'.

 

insecure people usually cling on to what they have been given, because they do not have self 'love', and so thereforeeee believe the partner they have managed to 'catch' is superior to them. doing this (treating them like 'gold') will inturn make that partner feel more secure and feel there is better for them out there, and so they will leave the insecure person and try to find a more 'challenging' person. the insecure person will then roll up in a ball, cry and claim they are in love. insecurity can actually grow. u could be in a relationship for years before u start to feel dependant on that person. this will lead to insecurity, and then everything of the above will happen. they usually end with the words, 'i dont love u the way i used to' etc. see my point? when u never stop loving them after they are gone, its all based on memories, and that dam insecurity again that u wont get any better then u had.

 

from what i have understood, u are only in love when u are insecure on whatever the relationship is. parential love? the belief and memories of such kind and loving people makes u feel that there is no one else out there in the world that could replace them. this leads on to insecurity that they cant be replaced, and so we love them.

 

then again i did say that i have probably not experienced the love that alot of people here are talking about so i forgive me if i sound a bit weird.

 

thanks alot guys

[mahlina]

I don't agree with the quote. I think that all types of people, at one point in time, will love someone, whether or not he/she is insecure.

 

Confident people are just good at keeping their emotions in I guess. They're probably more in control of their emotions. Whereas, less confident people are proned to carry more baggage, and thereforeeee, their impulsive nature will often cause them cling more.

 

Confident people just have a different way of expressing their emotions. Sometimes they're not good with words, but more with actions.

 

Whatever the argument is, I think that everyone will love at least one person in their lives (I.E.-God/Self/Parents/Siblings/Pets).